David G. Hall wants to put tracking chips in the skulls of school kids and Larry Grover, though anti-abortion, thinks back alley abortions will cause women to lose their souls to "souless, 'Heart of Darkness' doctors."

Tonight, Rob Barnes, a Madison, Wisconsin School Teacher on getting shanked in the back by Wisconsins' parents.  Plus, Brass Villenueva on why using antiseptic wipes messes with his manhood.

Tonight, Charlie LeFountaine on NPR and losing his job and Prof. Emory Clayton on Christian oppression and the Muslim name he made up for himself-Jamal Mohammed.

Pastor David Castornini on high-speed rail and Bobbie Dooley on journalist Lara Logan.

"Best Of" on the radio!

Margaret Grey is promoting a new program which has celebrities call chronically truant kids and encourage them to attend school. Margaret explains that, of course, children in LA and New York are used to being around celebrities, but kids out in "the hinterlands, the sticks" would get a kick out of hearing from Larry the cable guy, Jeff Foxworthy and, yes, even Charlie Sheen. Jay Santos of the Citizens Auxiliary Police will be out and about this weekend with his sub-commanders to take peoples temperature on the Egyptian situation. If people like what's going on (Mubarak resigned) then they get "a tip of the pith helmet and we wish them a very pleasant and productive afternoon." But if they do not like the current situation then Jay says he directs them to "go dark on talk radio and Fox TV." If they say no they won't then Jay says yes they will and lets this retorting go on until the person takes a punch at Jay. "That's the best," says Jay "Because then we slam them to the cement and get their face right down into it so their mouth and nose are squished together."

Jack Armstrong, liberal blogger, was on to attack Clarence Thomas' wife, Virginia, for saying publically that the health care law is unconstitutional. By extension, Jack said Justice Thomas should recuse himself from any Supreme Court review of healthcare because he would be influenced by his wife. Black men are used to a matriarchal family and are more likely going to do what "momma" tells them to do. Plus, Thomas will probably be looking to "payback" some of the liberals that fried him during his confirmation hearing with an unfavorable ruling on healthcare...... General Gaylen Shaw, USA (Ret.) spoke with Phil about Arizona counter suing the federal government over border control. Arizona is "hysterical," said the General "and needs to get a grip. The US government will get around to helping them as soon as we figure out this Medicare thing for all their old people." The General said that Governor Jan Brewer, when giving a speech today, sounded like she'd "had a couple of pops. You have a governor drinking to excess because the people of her state are nervous wrecks. Meanwhile the Canadian border goes unprotected with methamphetamine addicts wandering across at various points."

In our first hour we had Doug Dannger, gay man and gay journalist, explaing to Phil and his listeners that Lindsay Lohan, while in trouble constantly, does qualify for special treatment because "as an actor she entertains us and does public service things and charity things and obviously someone thinks she is worth a lot of money because look at the security she had at the courthouse." When asked who was more valuable to society, a woman that checks out groceries or Lindsay Lohan, Doug said Lohan because what she pays in taxes dwarfs what the check-out lady pays. Next we had educator Don Micksa defending a Texas school district making Arabic studies mandatory for its students without first consulting the parents.  Parents should be consulted, said Don. But only after a couple of months so that the school can get the program up and running and "rooted." The parents will eventually storm the classrooms "like in Romper Stomper" turning over garbage cans and knocking down blackboards so the teachers have to be ready.

It was Bob Green as our first guest tonight. This liberal chairman of Frazier Foods tells Phil that his billboard showing a womans thighs and a string hanging between them will help parents break the ice with their daughters about their menstrual cycles. Mr. Green tried to justify hiding in a closet and peaking at his sisters using tampons when he was young as a sort of self-education. He told Phil "I don't want that to happen to other kids. I already caught my sons doing it...to their mother" Dean Wheeler of the Northern California Holistic Center and Prison Reform Outreach argued with Phil tonight about prisoners having cell phones. California's prison guards, says Dean, are the best in the world but to make ends meet they are forced to sell prisoners cell phones. In typical liberal fashion Dean then says that if the guards were paid better they could go into those prisoners cells and confiscate the phones that they'd just sold them. Dean tells Phil that the only reason "Chuck Manson" has two cell phones is so he can call for help if he's getting his ass kicked by other prisoners.