Phil hot the air last night as “Brian Grant” of the LA Lakers and took calls from Lakers fans who wouldn’t know Brian Grant from Lou Grant. For a solid hour “Brian” kept talking about Vlade Divac coming into the locker room eating a fistful of goat cheese like an apple and how Kobe is moving to his own dressing cubicle so talking to him will be like talking to a guy in a different toilet stall. Phil then went on to bust the act and explain it was him when some gang-banger from East LA started talking crap to “Brian” in order to show how dumb the guy was. After that, it was on as the whole dumb gang world started calling with threats…then magically stopped when Phil slowly explained the show….again. Oh My God.
Phil brought on Bobbi Dooley to explain to new listeners who she was. Then Bud interrupted to tell Phil there was a guy outside who wanted to buy airtime on Phil’s show named Dick Little. When Phil asked Bud what the guy was selling, Bud said Viagra. David Hall came on and both he and Bud didn’t get the connection. All David knew is it was money for the show. Hal and Viola called from their plane to tell Phil they were going to Laughlin again and ask if he wanted them to put some money on a number at the Roulette wheel. Phil kept saying 16 Red but Viola couldn’t hear him over the plane engine. When she finally was able to get Hal to “turn the plane down” and hear Phil, they stalled out and never did get Phil’s number. We then ran a listener flashback request and then Lloyd Bonifide came back on to finish his audition for American Idol by singing “Hungry Heart” and rapping through the middle of it about how he hopes Bruce Springsteen is crippled for life in a limo accident because of his stance on the Iraq war. Steve Bosell then came on and explained who he was for new listeners.
Father James McQuarters kicked off our third hour by saying if the Pope dies, he’d like to “throw his hat in the ring.” When Phil points out the fact that the Father has various child molestation charges in his history, McQuarters says he’ll “spread some juice around and grease the right palms.” Phil then talks about the new “Show Lines” feature on the web page and Harvey Weirman, who quit his Law Talk feature because he was butchering words so bad the name Michael Jackson came out to sound like “Miggelee Boo-Boo,” comes on to try his hand at entertainment reporting. In this segment he talks about the new Clint Eastwood film Million Dollar Baby,” only his eyes are so bad he thinks it says “Mummy Baby.” Then Chris Norton comes on to talk about who he is for our new listeners. Phil reads about the FCC getting slapped down in a federal court and then Vernon Dozier, the football coach closes the show. As Margaret Grey is reciting the shows credits, Bud calls her a whore and she beats him with the phone.