Justin McElroy, high school junior, came on the show to explain the the kid in Minnesota who shot up his school was exhibiting some kind of Native American rage. According to Justin, it never would have happened had the white man not done the “Injun” wrong.
Chris Norton introduces his new service “Dream Date.” If you are a high school girl who ordinarily doesn’t get invited to proms, he’ll be your date complete with limo, dinner and, as you exit the limo for the prom, smoke “like you’re walking out of hell.” Chris prices on a sliding scale. The more “challenging” the date, the more expensive. How much to date Terri Schiavo? According to Chris, “four figures.”
Jeff Dowder calls in to say that Mad Hatters disease is so named because the old time haberdashers used to breath “formaldehyde” fumes while bending and shaping the hats they made and it drove them nuts. He says he knows because his friend Toby Beau told him and Toby’s grandfather used to make “bowler hats for Dion O’Bannion in Chicago.” Phil then talks about meeting and talking football with the former Dallas Cowboy all-pro James Washington. The Jim Rome Show features Romey choking on a piece of gum and Travis performing the Heimlich. Then Charlie calls to say he hates the Jim Rome bit that Phil just did and Bud chimes in his agreement and then David G. Hall calls to say he thought it sucked too. Logan Benson, the little five year old, calls in to say his Grandpa believes that if Michael Jackson had dealt with “those brats the same way John Wayne Gacy did” he wouldn’t have the problems he has today. Phil segues from that tasteless piece of material into a discussion of his wife’s basketball prowess. The show ends with the Kenny Rogers “Please Help Me Pay Off My Debt Before The Mafia Kills Me” Special.