Steve Bosell, the Corona construction contractor started taking magic lessons mail-order so he could work kids birthday parties on weekends. So he goes to these kid’s parties as “Magic Steve” and does his thing but the kids tell him he sucks and would rather play in the bounce house. Steve decides to sue the mother and father that hosted one of these parties because since kids are minors “they don’t have the constitutional right to free speech.” And the kids exercising their free speech by walking out on his boring magic show is therefore illegal.
David Hall comes on to tell Phil that he has a brain tumor and isn’t expected to live. When Phil gets emotional, David says he’s only kidding and just wanted to “liven up the show.” Then a a woman from down South calls to say she suffered a brutal rape just two months ago and there is nothing funny about what Mister Hall just did. Then her voice changes to a mans and she says “Baba-Booey!” We then played a listener flashback with Austin Amarca and had Walter Cronkite on to say Dan Rather, while being a very good friend, is queer. Lloyd Bonifide does an angry version of “Who Let the Dogs Out” and then Phil explains to Bud how Dan Rather simply got caught in the grinding wheels of the new internet style journalism and was unprepared. Herb Sewell, broadcastings only convicted child molester-turned news commentator, came on to report on the Michael Jackson trial.
We open with a heavyweight championship fight between Paris Hilton and a fictional IBC champion, Billy Brewer. Brewer stops Hilton in the 4rth round with a TKO. Phil then talks boxing, more specifically watching Ali with the kids and how he tried to explain to the kids who Ali was. Margaret Grey comes on to say that after coming back from Venezuela where she had “buttock augmentation” she was sure at least one man would “have the common decency to come up to me and say ‘nice butt.'” It didn’t happen and Margaret thinks its because her butt is so nice, the guys don’t want to offend their “flat-assed wives.” Then Phil reads an e-mail from a 13 year old listener and explains why he can’t exactly encourage kids to listen to his show, a decidedly adult comedy show.