Hour One:
Bud opens the show to tell Phil he heard a rumor that Phil sexually assaulted Annette Funicello in her wheel chair. Phil loses it and beats up Bud. David G. Hall orders Phil out of the studio and proceeds to introduce 3 substitute hosts: Lloyd. Mavis and Jay Santos.....Bud retracts his statement and says he was mistaken. It wasn't Annette Funicello. It was Corky from "Life Goes On." Phil beats him again. David tries to carry the show and fails. He gets Phil back on. Bud says it wasn't Phil anyway. It was Jim Rome.
Hour Two: Steve Bosell contemplates suing Dr. Phil McGraw for encouraging openness in a marriage. Steve decides to open up his inner most sexual fantasies to April. One of them is his desire to stub out a lit Camel on her rear-end.
Hour Three:
Phil talks about Fillmore Middle not getting picked up....talks about "War of the Worlds" by Orson Welles not being a hoax.....Bob Greene of Frazier foods comes on to talk about a new promotion for charity: He'll dance at bachelorette parties wearing a blue suit and wing tips.