By Steven Bosell  El Pacifico EMT Jason Green, seen here outside court in January, was shot and killed outside a Manhattan nightclub early Sunday, police and FDNY officials said. I can't believe it! El Pacifico Eutisha Revee' Rennix allegedly died at her job at Au Bon Pain in Brooklyn after two EMT's allegedly ignored pleas to help her. What the hell on earth? I heard about an FDNY emergency medical technician that got accused of ignoring a dying pregnant woman while he was eating a sandwich or some bull like that....well he was shot and killed outside a Manhattan nightclub early Sunday, according to the police and the FDNY, as sure as God made the green apple His name was Jason Green, he was 32 , he was suspended by the FDNY for 30 days for abandoning Au Bon Pain (I don't know what that is but I guess it's a place where this lady worked) worker Eutisha Rennix in December and...drum roll...he was shot in the face outside of Greenhouse club in Soho, New York damn city this very morning. He was off duty at the time but I guess he was when he let that lady die too so whats good for your goose is good for a gander. So I said to my wife that I didn't believe that at all. And then, because many of you know I write comedy in my spare time, I said to my wife, "Okay so that means if I don't help a fat woman with her groceries I get shot as sure as God made a green apple?" And then I paused for the laughter and she doesn't laugh. And so I tell myself, don't get discouraged, try another one but I'm thinking oh my God what a C-word for not admitting that was funny. So then I say "Well, I don't mean to be disrespectful but I'd like to live past lunch even if I forget to tip my cap to a woman thats lactating,." And I wait like the book tells you too..beat, beat, beat...and she doesn't laugh. And then my daughter comes in and is brushing her hair and says "Daddy, a woman died. You don't make jokes about that." I was stunned more than anything else. I'd have to say, if you were to press me, I'd say I was stunned. The only think I could think to do was mumble my apologies, get up and go to the bedroom where I just threw myself on the bed and buried my face in a pillow. But then I turned slightly and saw my wife go by the door to take my daughter to school so I yell "I'd like to bury my face in something else!" And my wife yells at me about the girl and how inappropriate I am and that the girl shouldn't hear that. Oh my God. I can't win for losing. So I've put a call into Dee. She gets to the office about...oh, its only 4 a.m. here in California. And Blasingame is gonna think I'm up late looking at porn. Great. Now I'm F'ed. I'll hold off. Calling her, I mean. Not hold off the other thing. And my daughter has to go to school at 4 am why? Must be a swim deal.

Your Name: gordonSubject: Bob Greene / Hurricane Katrina Message: Phil, do you know offhand (yeah right!) where I can find the clip with Bob Greene donating spatulas and party favors to the hurricane Katrina victims and complaining that the media did not show up? That was one of the funniest bits ever and I have been dying to find it for years! can ya help a brother out! Great shows as always and the updated website ROCKS! It would be nice if there was a keyword search on here... thanks gordon

It was Bob Green as our first guest tonight. This liberal chairman of Frazier Foods tells Phil that his billboard showing a womans thighs and a string hanging between them will help parents break the ice with their daughters about their menstrual cycles. Mr. Green tried to justify hiding in a closet and peaking at his sisters using tampons when he was young as a sort of self-education. He told Phil "I don't want that to happen to other kids. I already caught my sons doing it...to their mother" Dean Wheeler of the Northern California Holistic Center and Prison Reform Outreach argued with Phil tonight about prisoners having cell phones. California's prison guards, says Dean, are the best in the world but to make ends meet they are forced to sell prisoners cell phones. In typical liberal fashion Dean then says that if the guards were paid better they could go into those prisoners cells and confiscate the phones that they'd just sold them. Dean tells Phil that the only reason "Chuck Manson" has two cell phones is so he can call for help if he's getting his ass kicked by other prisoners.