"Dennis," calling from "Bramford, Massachusetts" opened up a can of worms tonight when he said he was a conservative in favor of Obamacare because it would, if enacted, pay for his wife's "gluteal enhancements." Dennis said his wife "has an ass like a 90 year old man" and it causes her deep psychic pain....and him too. As it is he's going to have his wife get the procedure and then stiff the doctor and hospital. RC Collins from Bradley Military Academy told Phil that ever since he has been dating this girl named Margerite he's decided he's against the death penalty. So even though he's "good to go" and ready to "eat his own guts" for his country he would not have been able to go on the Bin Laden mission. After all, he wants to "spend the night" some night with Margerite and he has to be against the death penalty and other stuff to do that.

Starting out tonight Justin McElroy, a 17 year old high school junior, talked with Phil about a paper he did for his social sciences class. It was his opinion that the New Jersey people who named their kids "Adolph Hitler" and "Aryan Nations" had the right to do so and should not have had their children taken from them. Later Justins father, Dan McElroy, a man who made millions operating a "string of assisted living centers for seniors" came on the show to call out Phil and others for the way he believed Phil treated his son. At issue was whether or not RC Collins used the term "gloidamac" (the combination of 'mongoloid' and 'maniac') in referring to Justin. He had not but had used "gloidiac." As the result of Justin lying his type A father beat his ass. Margaret Grey believes Bill O'Reilly is working with Mary Katharine Ham just so he can eventually call his show "Bill O'Reilly and his Ham."

RC Collins, a cadet at Bradley Military Academey, took exception to Phil's pre-show tirade and the language that he used and with David G. Halls help used that to get Phil to talk about the Miami face-chewing episode and whether it was inspired by the Walking Dead...Margaret Grey, in order to cheer Phil up, sang (or butchered) the song 'Bridge Over Troubled Water." She also carved "Waiting For A Girl Like You" a new ass. Doug Dannger and Pastor William Rennick debated two Abraham Lincoln movies coming put this year; "Lincoln" with Daniel Day-Lewis and the action/schtick flick "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter." Pastor Rennick claimed that Lincoln "could kick Dracula's ass, that Interview with a Vampire vampire's ass, Blade's ass and those little twinkle-toe Twighlight vampires' asses!"

Bobbie Dooley, Larry Grover and Corrine Grover, Larry's mom, talk about Obama and the first anniversary of the killing of Bin Laden. Bobbie, as an Obama supporter, says the Republicans will have to suck on Obama being "the guy that puilled the trigger." Larry finds that appraisal "sadistic." Meanwhile Mrs Grover claims Larry uses a racial slur in talking about Obama and Larry denies it. Also Harvey Weirman and RC Collins engage in a discussion about Nadya Suleman, the so-called "Octo-Mom" and her prospects now that she's declared bankruptcy. Naturally, with Harvey and RC, there are insults, baiting, threats of violence and then, at the end, Harvey going through the phone line to exact some sick revenge on young Mr. Collins.

Brad Rivkind of Rivkind Advertising joined Phil to talk about his new, clear-eyed, dry-eyed, objective and unemotional documenatry on the life and times of Joe Paterno. However he wouldn't answer any questions that were the least bit insulting to "JoPa." So when Phil asked what year Paterno was born Brad answered "So you want to just get right down in the muck and play with it huh? Play with the filth?" Later Bob Green and RC Collins both reported on Congressman Rand Paul refusing a security pat-down in Nashville "because he didn't want to submit to and do the bidding of the TSA."