Hour OneThe show starts off with the Reverend Bible Bill van Boning auditioning some new Christian show that's based on sex. The producers threaten to throw him out so he decides to morph into Cowboy Jim....a kids show with a sexual attitude. This gets him thrown out. Little Judy Horrach calls in to win a Vermont Teddy Bear Pajama Gram. She's five but she has the voice of a 53 year old man. David G. Hall calls in to say he thinks the kid is bullcrap so Judy starts to cry until Phil gives her the Pajama Gram. David G. is still disbelieving.We play a listener request flashback, which is Art Bell interviewing Ted Williams head and after that Phil interviews Art Bell and G. Gordon Liddy, two guys who sound identical to each other. Bobbi Dooley, Viola Leveliere and Mavis all call in pretending to want to talk with Phil but in fact want a free Pajama Gram. Finally Monica from Upland wins it. In Letter To My Baby the due is telling his lost love they could have had it all if she hadn't eaten a box of Hostess mini-chocolates and set off the Fog Horn fat alarm at J'tiem Lingerie. Phil blathers about Iran having nukes and how that ought to be cool with everybody.Hour TwoMargaret Grey is with the Women's Resolution Center. She comes on to explain that domestic violence in this country would decrease if women learned how to take a punch. She says they are out of condition and have lousy foot work. Women's Resource trainer Jim McDougal joins her and Margaret insists he hit her square on the chin, a knockout punch, to show how she has learned to take one. He belts her and sends her flying down some stairs.Hour ThreeJeff Dowder opens the hour with another episode of Extreme Nudity. This week Jeff along with Chris Sorensen and Toby Beau are hiking some volcanic rock in Fiji with their guide, all of them nude. One false move and they go tumbling down volcanic rock that is as sharp as glass. Sure enough, Chris Sorensen, after twisting one up, falls down the rocky face of the volcano, screaming as his you know what gets sliced up. Phil then reminds the audience that Comb-Over Boys show is so lame even Comb-Over knows it. He goes on to say that the people who listen to 'Boy's show are lame and that his listeners are far superior people in terms of intelligence and sense of humor. Then David G. Hall comes on and tells Phil to give away the second Pajama Gram to any "broad" who can guess his middle name (It's Gambino and no one does) Christian Lee the homeless guy calls from New York to sing a Hawaiian love song on the bongos but someone steals his drums. Phil then continues his campaign to have the slow asses move out of the fast lane or face an ultimate Armageddon. Then Phil reads an e-mail from a guy who says his brother believes Phil is a genius who's show could be therapy for people with deep depression. Bud tells Phil he thinks its bullcrap.

Hour One:The show started off with "The Further Adventures of Bill Cortizen." He's a football coach for the Chattanooga Choo-Choos and the owner and her son are idiots who basically make his life a living, tongue biting hell. Tsunami Sam showed up to sing a blues tribute to Condoleezza Rice. The Art Bell and General Johnson Jameson try and contact Cupid in the 6th Dimension. Phil played a tape of the real Art Bell talking with a caller about Phil's show and then Phil wrapped the hour answering e-mails about his move to Extra Sports AM 570.Hour Two:Bobbi and Steve Dooley come on to talk about the HOA meeting they had at Western Estates. Bobbi was mortified to find out that the homeowners were more interested in the well-being of a child that was sexually assaulted near their community than they were in how her hemorrhoid surgery went. Bobbi tells Phil that while the little girl is alright, Bobbi is still bleeding a little bit. We then rolled a listener flashback request of Chris Norton doing his stupid sex dance. Jeff Dowder called and talked about his dog giving him the evil eye because the dog apparently doesn't want America cutting any deals with Korea and turning him and his canine brothers into stew meat.Hour Three:Dean Wheeler, an assistant gymnastics coach from Northern California has to answer some tough questions from Phil and his callers on why he has years and years of videotape stored with images of teenage girls jumping up and down on trampolines. Dean says they are simply training tapes that show the development of athletes, even though some of the girls are in short skirts doing leg kicks. Phil's cell phone rings in the middle of the bit....and the dumbass answers it. Then RC Collins, a cadet at Bradley Military Academy calls to ask women to simply come out and state how much he and his fellow cadets have to spend on a Valentines date to insure they'll get sex. He says "just give us a number we can work with." Phil finishes off with some more e-mail.