Hour 1: VARIETY. Hour 2: Larry Grover talks about senior citizens and driving. He says you bury your dead and move on. Hour 3: After an 8 minute opener, Don Fordham (Parsley) feels sexually humiliated by Groundhog Day and can't say Gobblers Knob or Jackson Hole (21m). He is with an organization called 'Surviving Prostitution'. He hasn't sworn off prostitutes because that's Step 12 and he's on Step 6. Phil says this is a retooling of a bit he did earlier in the month.

Hour 1: RC Collins expects to be able to deflower America's daughters in exchange for fighting for Americans in Afghanistan. Phil closes talking about a Superbowl party at his house. Hour 2: Margaret Gray has started the "Kim DeLaney Defense Fund" for the NYPD Blue actress. Hour 3: VARIETY.

Hour 1: VARIETY. Hour 2: Bobbie Dooley is going around telling kids their parents are stupid for not knowing about Enron, and their kids should run away. Hour 3: Larry Grover complains about his workplace because he's not allowed to make inappropriate advances on another male coworker. His advances were rejected. Larry doesn't understand why callers think he's gay. He whines that everybody's being politically correct, and keeps pointing out Bill Maher's Politically Incorrect.

Hour 1: Bob Green has written a book that is an indictment of professional football: "Fast Lane To Brain Damage". Phil closes about the best Superbowl (1969), and receiving a Phil Hendrie toy doll sample. Hour 2: VARIETY. Hour 3: Austin Amarka is with the Dont Mess With Texas organization and is barring Texans from returning to the state because of the Enron embarrassment.

Hour 1: RERUN of 2001-01-16b JSA. Flash flooding driving tips. Hour 2: RERUN of 2001-12-07a MGR. Pearl Harbor movie and Ben Affleck. Hour 3: RERUN of 2001-01-25a VDO. Superbowl parties and annoying wives.

Hour 1: RERUN of 2001-12-19b DWH. Abusive Saudi elites. Hour 2: RERUN of 2001-12-05a TBE. Sodomized by his wife. Hour 3: RERUN of 2001-12-12a BDO. John Walker is a stud.

Hour 1: RERUN of 2001-01-23c RCA. What Women Want. Hour 2: RERUN of 2001-03-02a LBO. Widower needs to return a drill. Hour 3: RERUN of 2001-01-31a CNO. Diet Island TV show idea.

Hour 1: RERUN of 2001-12-06b JDO. John Walker was brutally raised in a rich family. Hour 2: RERUN of 2001-01-12c BGR. Anorexic women are dangerous. Hour 3: RERUN of 2001-11-14b DPA. Lost his wife in the WTC.

Hour 1: RERUN of 2001-01-15a DWH Pray to MLK to avoid a quake. Hour 2: RERUN of 2001-01-15b VDO. Rae Carruth. Hour 3: RERUN of 2001-01-15c TBE. Ted won't be financially molested.

Hour 1: Brad Rifkin is selling a diet plan based upon diarrhea called 'River of Life'. It's all natural, and Brad is having trouble with his computer but says one ingredient is castor bean. Hour 2: Vernon Dozier heads a neighborhood watch to look for child molesters, but he's the only member and he spends time logging the colors of potential victims panties. The famous ''OAKS'' bit (R Hutchins). Hour 3: VARIETY.