Hour 1: Ted Bell's Shrimp Cocktail, Take 2, a rescript of yesterday's show. Ted says the shrimp best illustrates a fetus and that anyone who won't order them are moralizing against abortion. Phil closes talking about dying, the online polls. Hour 2: Dave Oliva wants everyone, including area kids, to know that the film Rush Hour II is not really how LAPD works, and they don't dance or joke. He says the Hong Kong PD is more realistic because they do karate and kick ass. Phil closes with Waterworld and how much it costs. Uplifting E-Mail Of The Week, Bud picks a short Bud fan letter. Hour 3: FIRST HOUR. Phil talks about the latest website poll, takes calls. Phil says he drinks regularly but he functions fine, talks about trying to find good music on a car drive, takes a call about a soldier protesting the government. SECOND HALF. Phil takes calls. The pronunciation of Lara of Lara Croft, flashback of 2001-08-09 hour one.

Dave Oliva kicked off the show to say that Robert Blake should not be under suspicion because he played Barretta, a cop on TV. The training to play a cop is like being a cop and no cop would do that. Ted Bell then joined the show in the second hour to discuss gas prices. Ted thinks that gas prices have forced a lack of respect for SUV drivers. People in Toyotas no longer get out of the way for him. David G. Hall started the third hour. He heard Phil say that he broke a chair. That's a frightening thing for women. David wants Phil to say that he'll get chocolate, flowers, etc. Bud Dickman wrapped up the show with his Weekly Top 10 and guest Carson Daly.

Ted Bell started the show to discuss Ted's of Beverly Hills. He says that their cattle is driven hard and scared to near death rather than being stunned because the adrenaline makes for tastier beef. The second hour began with Vernon Dozier, who thinks that Bush is showing no balls with China. The Chinese simply don't respect him. Vernon thinks that Bush should grow a mustache to gain their favor. Phil closed the second hour with a rant about Bush, the recent Navy crash, and Streisand's right to talk. Dean Wheeler wrapped up the show to represent "Americans With Allergies Alliance." These are Americans who are allergic to everything. He thinks that people should have to stop wearing perfume, denim, deordorizing soaps, etc.

Bobbie Dooley kicked off the show tonight. She recently had her nails done and asked her maid to wipe her ass after crapping because she didn't want to ruin them. The maid refused, so Bobbie fired her. Now the maid is suing. Clara Bingham joined us in the second hour to discuss the possibility of Jesse Jackson going over to China to retrieve our boys. Clara thinks that if he's going to make the trip then he deserves an apology for everyone dissing him for that illegitimate child. Phil closed the second hour with a rant about the cops who shot an unarmed kid in Cincinnati, and a hypothetical boxing match: Jesus Christ vs Bruce Springsteen. Ted Bell was on in the third hour to challenge Tiger Woods to a one million dollar match. Ted thinks that he could smoke Tiger using his 25 handicap. Phil wrapped up the show by playing all the cuts from The Beatles' "1" album, but due to budgetary constraints could only play a half second of each track.

Phil took the day off to attend the talk radio seminar weekend. The first hour featured the 4PM hour from Feb. 16, 2001. Jeff Dowder on Dennis Deyong's birthday. The second hour started with the 5-5:30PM hour from Feb. 15, 2001. Larry Grover suing Clinton for stealing Bush's spotlight. The second hour closed with the 5:30-6PM hour from Feb. 19, 2001. Dave Oliva expresses his love for Nicole Kidman. The third hour started with the 6-6:30PM hour from Feb. 14, 2001. Pastor Renneck complaining that people are tithing 10% of net and not gross. The third hour closed with the 5:30-6PM hour from Feb. 13, 2001. Ted Bell e-mailed his wife with intent of divorce.

Jeff Dowder kicked off the show to talk about the power blackouts in LA. He thinks they could be reduced by harnessing the enegy of women's PMS. Ted Bell joined the show in the second hour to discuss the economy. Business is down at Ted's because idiots are afraid and stop eating out. Phil closed the second hour with a rant about foot & mouth, while Bud plays Rawhide. Phil then touched on Liberace's sexuality. Brad Riffkin closed the show. Brad sells dog harnesses, dark sunglasses, and white canes along with a pamplhet on how to act mentally handicapped so you can bring your dog into restaurants.