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Ep. 1448

The Dooleys, Bobbie and Steve, fill in for Margaret Grey and immediately complain about how much time they are getting. Mavis Leonard is “winging” her way to Laughlin, Nevada, with a church group. Encore from June 25, 2018. Note: The video is very choppy as our TriCaster was failing around this time.
Hour 1:Margaret Grey called to say she doesn't believe Melissa Etheridge has breast cancer and coming on the Grammies with a bald head to pretend she has been getting chemo is lower than low. She just wants to say she has breast cancer to be "clique" like everyone else. Phil points out no one watched the Grammies and so why is he doing this bit anyway. A listener flashback is played, this one featuring Herb Sewell who slept with his junior partners daughter and doesn't care because he can fire her father if he complains. Phil comments on Bud's Babe of the Week Oprah Winfrey and mentions that Maria and the kids are in Hawaii so he went out and got drunk Saturday night.Hour 2:Vernon Dozier is on to promote his book, The Wages of Sin: Surviving Road Rage. Vernon says through Jesus and therapy he is cured of road rage......except when he sees women using hands-free cell phones, flossing their teeth or putting on make-up while driving. He feels emasculated.Hour 3:The Jim Rome Show has Romey interviewing Jose Canseco until Jose starts shooting up steroids and morphs into an ape. He then strangles Jim and takes over the show, taking a few more calls while jabbering into the microphone. Phil then reads the news about Mary Kay Letourneau marrying the student she had sex with when he was 12. Phil theorizes that it'll be about five years before we get the news that one has murdered the other and dismembered the body. The Dreen Flew Pet Show has Darren taking calls from dogs. One, a St Bernard named Ben calls in and Darren determines that the old lady who owns him doesn't bath or groom him. Other dogs check in, a Dachshund named Carl, an Afghan named Gretchen and a Bulldog named Chuck who advises Ben to bite her and give her rabies. Harvey Weirman calls in with a legal review of the Letourneau case and he, as usual, can't pronounce anything properly. And finally the show ends with play by play of the Dodgers vs. a team of blind musicians. The Dodgers get touched up in the first inning with Ray Charles getting a base hit and Stevie Wonder sending one over the center field wall.
Hour One:Phil started out the show with a quick list of stuff coming up including the move to WWNC in Asheville, N.C. and Extra Sports AM570 in L.A. Then Phil, very innocently, welcomed "John Zeigler" to the 7pm spot in LA starting Monday. A listener flashback was next featuring the class bit where Bud Dickman literally goes through the phone line to kick some guys b-u-t-t on the other end. The Prince of Darkness Show features Satan breaking the news that the entire Partridge Family is in hell. David G. Hall comes on and is pissed Phil made fun of John and tells Phil, as usual, "they're dusting off the hot seat for me." Herb Sewell, a certifiable psycho who is now trying his hand at the travel business, tells Phil and his listeners he is planning a trip to they NBA All-Star game for women only and though he can't guarantee they'll have sex with a player "the possibility certainly exists.. Margaret Grey pays a visit to see what Phil thinks about her singing the words "........you know what you look like to me with your good bag and your bad shoes? You look like a rube......" instead of speak them. Phil then read some e-mail.Hour Two:Phil's special guest is Don Parsley, an unemployed electrician, who claims he lost his son recently to an accidental shooting involving one of his son's friends and a gun owned by Don the boys were playing with. Then he changes his story to his son dying in an automobile accident. The he says his son was shot just before he got into the accident. Then he says his son with shot with a bow and arrow, his wife has breast cancer that may involve "boob removal" and his daughters are sick too. The usual calls follow featuring people calling Don on his horse crap.Hour Three:Bud and RC are at a movie theatre where they interview people already lining up for the new Star Wars flick. Problem is Phil can't understand a word the anyone is saying because most of the theatre-goers are dressed as Chewbacca and they're talking through big hairy masks. Phil lauds Coach Jags down in Atlanta for his promotion to Offensive Line Coach with the Falcons and then Phil talks about how his wife is going to kick his b-u-t-t when she finds out he burned a hole in the rug at the beach. RC comes on to explain what happened when they yanked the plug on Phil prematurely Friday night at KFI because he was being, apparently, too funny. Phil goes through news about a nudist restaurant in New York and then has Paul "Tubby" Lane, former NASCAR driver on to talk about a move afoot in NASCAR that would allow the drivers to race after having a couple of drinks.
Hour One:Phil hot the air last night as "Brian Grant" of the LA Lakers and took calls from Lakers fans who wouldn't know Brian Grant from Lou Grant. For a solid hour "Brian" kept talking about Vlade Divac coming into the locker room eating a fistful of goat cheese like an apple and how Kobe is moving to his own dressing cubicle so talking to him will be like talking to a guy in a different toilet stall. Phil then went on to bust the act and explain it was him when some gang-banger from East LA started talking crap to "Brian" in order to show how dumb the guy was. After that, it was on as the whole dumb gang world started calling with threats...then magically stopped when Phil slowly explained the show....again. Oh My God.Hour Two:Phil brought on Bobbi Dooley to explain to new listeners who she was. Then Bud interrupted to tell Phil there was a guy outside who wanted to buy airtime on Phil's show named Dick Little. When Phil asked Bud what the guy was selling, Bud said Viagra. David Hall came on and both he and Bud didn't get the connection. All David knew is it was money for the show. Hal and Viola called from their plane to tell Phil they were going to Laughlin again and ask if he wanted them to put some money on a number at the Roulette wheel. Phil kept saying 16 Red but Viola couldn't hear him over the plane engine. When she finally was able to get Hal to "turn the plane down" and hear Phil, they stalled out and never did get Phil's number. We then ran a listener flashback request and then Lloyd Bonifide came back on to finish his audition for American Idol by singing "Hungry Heart" and rapping through the middle of it about how he hopes Bruce Springsteen is crippled for life in a limo accident because of his stance on the Iraq war. Steve Bosell then came on and explained who he was for new listeners.Hour Three:Father James McQuarters kicked off our third hour by saying if the Pope dies, he'd like to "throw his hat in the ring." When Phil points out the fact that the Father has various child molestation charges in his history, McQuarters says he'll "spread some juice around and grease the right palms." Phil then talks about the new "Show Lines" feature on the web page and Harvey Weirman, who quit his Law Talk feature because he was butchering words so bad the name Michael Jackson came out to sound like "Miggelee Boo-Boo," comes on to try his hand at entertainment reporting. In this segment he talks about the new Clint Eastwood film Million Dollar Baby," only his eyes are so bad he thinks it says "Mummy Baby." Then Chris Norton comes on to talk about who he is for our new listeners. Phil reads about the FCC getting slapped down in a federal court and then Vernon Dozier, the football coach closes the show. As Margaret Grey is reciting the shows credits, Bud calls her a whore and she beats him with the phone.
Hour One:RC Collins comes on to say that as a young cadet at a military Academy, he has the right to partake in one of the military's greatest traditions: Going to the Donkey Show in Tijuana. It's something the Marines at Pendleton and the Navy seamen in San Diego have been doing for years so why can't he.Hour Two:Love Songs with Bob features love song dedications from NAMBLA members to their.....well anyway, Bob keeps playing the song "I Believe In Miracles" by Hot Chocolate. Whatever. Then Pastor William Rennick and his wife Miss Clara call in as the tune "I Believe In Miracles" is playing and the good Pastor does the Running Man, Cabbage Patch, Watusi, Mashed Potatoes and the Sprinkler as Clara does commentary. Rudy Canosa, owner of J'tiem Lingerie has a problem. Rudy, of the Argentinean love call "La-La-La," tells Phil a Muslim woman came into his shop and he was only having fun when he said to her, "Do you believe in Al-La-La-Lah?" Margaret Grey says that Robert Blake being found not guilty of killing his wife will only encourage guys like David Arquette ("a real screwball") and Brad Pitt to kill theirs. James Lipton of the Actors Studio interviews Leatherface. And then Leatherface chainsaws Lipton and takes over as host of the show. His first guest is Mickey Rourke. And he chainsaws Mickey Rourke. And then David G. Hall calls, interrupts the bit, and screams at Phil for milking it and not having any punch line. Phil says he does and all he ends up doing is having Leatherface chainsaw someone else. David is right.Hour Three:Jay Santos of the Citizens Auxiliary Police believes Easter only scares kids who aren't raised in Christian homes because its all about "some guy coming back from a dirt nap." He will be monitoring conversations in restaurants and if he hears "any of this Jesus zombie talk" he'll ask people to stop. It turns out jay is an atheist and his agenda is fairly obvious. Not that the callers get it.
Hour One:Mr Loyd Bonafide of Alhambra, California calls from Rome, Italy where he and his wife are vacationing. He tells Phil he is, frankly, dissappointed with how depressed and down-in-the-mouth the Italians are over the Pope. He says there aren't any "big Italian smiles with plates full of food like the brochure tells about." He tells Phils audience he is tired of Catholics "shoving their lifestyle down my throat just like the gays."Hour Two:David Hall calls to tell Phil that the phone call from Italy he took during the previous hour just cost the company "thousands." Phil then goes on to talk about the various products the Hendrie family purchases, like slabs of pork ribs from Costco, big packages of Top Ramen, creme soda and root beer and a new screen for the back door from Home Depot. David calls back and screams at Phil for violating FCC decency guidelines by saying the words "slab of pork, big package, creme, root and back door." Bud Dickman then lays an enormous egg with his "Catholic Joke of the Day." Wow. Earl Pants Car Talk is live from Rome where Earl is allowed to look at the famous Pope-Mobile. Unfortunately, Earl finds a copy of Swank stuffed under the back seat.Hour ThreePhil mentions that it bums him out to see the American flag burned. So Jeff Dowder callls to say the show has gotten real "right wing." The he says he is selling a napkin on E-Bay that looks like the Popes' hat. It doesn't seem to matter to Jeff that he folded it to look like the Popes' hat. Herb Sewell, the child molester turned news commentator, reports on the Michael Jackson case and since there isn't anything going on he gives his opinion about teenage sex and the need for condom dispensers at the local high schools. Rudy Canosa sings the song "Angel is a Centerfold," replacing the "na-na-na" part with "la-la-la." Bob Bakian, flying over St Peters Square, says he sees "Kerry For Pope" signs. Phil, again, tells Bob not to do schtick. Bob tells Phil to go to the hot place. Margaret Grey calls from Rome as well to say she is in line to see the Pope with her son, Jason Jay Delmonico, and she is packing a weapon in case any priests turn on the boy. And then Justin McElroy calls in to say that while it is against the law to threaten the Presidents life, it is not against the law to threaten the loife of a dead President. So he goes on to talk about how he wants to assasinate Woodrow Wilson.
Hour One:Larry Grover is choosing to go to Hawaii with a new "TV actress" girlfriend for a golf week rather than attend his daughters volleyball tournament.......Donna calls in to scold Larry.......but thinks she's listening to the Rusty Humphrey Show...Larry breaks into the song "Honolulu Baby"...Hour Two:Margaret Grey believes the US Army is filled with Lynndie England's, "a lurching mob of 'gloids."Hour Three:Father McQuarters calls to ask Phil if he is done getting his jollies with the Down Syndrome material...now on day three...Phil tells the tale of pulling into the McDonalds drive-thru and hitting the gas instead of the brake...thinks its time to hang it up.....Father McQuarters calls back to say that he knew a priest named Father McGovern who shuffled out of the bathroom one night with his pants around his ankles looking for toilet paper. He was so senile he shuffled right into a cocktail party....... Frodo the Puppet returns! He asks Phil why we can't find Bin Laden. Phil attempts to answer but is distracted by the fact that Frodo and Bud are exchanging glances.....
Hour One:Father James McQuarters is on to talk about Anysoldier.com, a great site to send things our troops need in Iraq and Afghanistan, but he winds up getting high on the air and Phil needs to pull the plug..... Phil talks about what happened to his Jag that fateful day he couldn't slow it down.... Coast to Coast with Art Bell features General Johnson Jameson searching for Frosty The Snowman.... Margaret Grey discusses the Michael Jackson case and the defense playing, as the Drudgereport said, "the Vaseline card."..... Phil attempts a bit called "Spelling Bee For The Deaf" but is critiqued by David G. Hall who says the sound effects are jacked up.... Bud's new cell phone ringer is RC Collins saying "Great show as always Mr. Hendrie.."..... Phil discusses his plan to get on one of those talking head shows wearing an eye patch and smoking a pipe.....Hour Two:Its e-mail time....Rudy Canoza calls and asks why Phil is so slap-happy tonight, laughing during bits and stuff.... RC calls and tells Phil he's been working on his "Luke I'm your father" impression...... Phil says Tom Cruise is a bible banger for Scientology.... Different religion, same kind of dickhead.....Hour Three:Vernon Dozier is on the show to say he has it on good authority that most women who receive child support money spend it on lip hair removal instead of the kids......
Hour One:Bobbi Dooly's niece is getting married and Bobbi took over wedding planning from "the alcoholic mother who is still jealous of the fact that Ronnie Van Zandt and I had a thing." (Hour features Bobbi singing back-up, along with Margaret Grey and Genya Ravan on "Sweet Home Alabama" and "That Smell")Hour Two:Clara Bingham claims women that home school their children are "gingham-wearers who want to be Michael Landon's wife" and deprive their children of "socialized" education. Ms Bingham also believes that a boy who is home schooled by his mother eventually sees her as a sex object since "hers are the only pair he's seen since birth."Hour Three:Phil talks with Bobbi who now claims she was the singer on "If I Can't Have You..." from the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack and called herself Yvonne Elliman. Phil remarks that Yvonne Elliman was Asian and Bobbi says that the producers circulated a picture of a "China-woman" because they wanted a more international look to the artists......This all evolves into "Biff barlowes American Top 60" which claims its celebrating "the decade that drove the last nail into the rock and roll coffin...the 80's.....with its British techno pop that, if it were a food, would taste like arse."

Ep. 3286

Margaret Grey reveals a shocking secret
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