First off tonight, Phil shaved off his beard. Second off he welcomed Curt Queedy and Guy Barton, the West Virginia state senators who are introducing the "Hometown News Bill." Sure parents lock their kids in freezers or leave them in running cars while they hop into a tavern for a quick blast. But does that mean it has to be reported globally? The "HomeTown News Bill" keeps these "strictly local" stories from being reprinted natonally and internationally and turning some poor local boob into "Adolf Hitler." In the second hour, Pastor William Rennick came on the program to comment on Steve Johnson, the Buffalo Bill wide reciever who blamed God on Twitter for Johnson dropping a pass against Pittsburgh that migjht have won the game. Pastor Rennick said that while you must love God and trust in God "ain't nothing wrong in calling God out. It's like a baby getting a vaccine. "The doctor shoots that baby in the butt with the vaccine and that stings and stings bad. And the baby looks back at the doctor and says 'You got a fight comin'. It's comin today."

"Best Of" on the radio...

"Best Of" on the radio...

On this Thanksgiving Eve, Phil talks with Ted Bell in a far ranging interview. The Beverly Hills restaurantuer tells Phil he does not serve Thanksgiving turkey at his restaurant because it attracts "losers who come shuffling in and then order off the appetizer menu." Ted went on to tell Phil that in 1983 when the annual Army-Navy football game traveled to the Rose Bowl in Pasadena, he decided to put on a promotion for Thanksgiving. The game was such a bust with very little interest there was no business for his restaurant either. Ted told Phil's audience he went into his office that night, pulled "a bottle of Stoly from a desk drawer and within 20 minutes I was slobbering drunk. They had to call my wife." Since then, once a year on the anniversary of the Army-Navy game, Ted hates the military.

Tonight, it was Dean Wheeler from the Northern California Holistic Center talking about how salting the streets of Seattle during a recent snowstorm only kills the salmon in Puget Sound when the snow melts. Dean thinks the solution is for people to learn to drive better "on ice and black ice. When your car begins to glide left or right, turn into the glide, then check the rear view mirror for how far away traffic is, count four and then leap from the car, rolling twice and jumping up." He said that in a hydro-planing situation "see if you have brakes or steering. If not bounce up and down in your seat to see if the center of gravity changes in the car. If that doesn't work have any passenegers crawl into the back seat to change the weight distrubution. If you have infants or children in the car wait for an approaching snowbank and throw them into it. An infant should be thrown like a football with a tight spiral so it sticks in the snow. If you are alone, lay down flat on the front seat, grab the car door in front with your hands and hook your feet into the car door behind. That way you keep the car from losing it's doors once it gets airborne. An airborne car always wants to shed its doors and wheels."

A Mr. Lloyd Bonafide of Alhambra, California was our guest. He was concerned about the mental health of his 77 year old wife who he believed was suffering from demntia or Alzheimers. "She wants to go in a bus to Hollywood and watch 'The Price is Right' so Bob Barker can make her his whore." When told Barker doesn't host the show anymore he said he believed Barker was "still hanging around the stage."  Lloyd believed his wife had dementia because in 54 years of marriage "she's never disobeyed me and I told her I didn't want her wandering the streets of Hollywood." Next up, Art Griego and Phil discussed the TSA pat-down procedures that have so many passengers angry. Art said that if passengers were angry, think of what it's like for the TSA people "having to pat-down fat, disgusting people with bad hygiene. Phil, I can tell you when you do a pat-down on an obese computer programmer from San Francisco, you live with the memory for the rest of your life."

Dr. Ron Tarner of the Mountain Meadow Observatory in Colorado needs the publicity being one of the first in line at Best Buy after Thanksgiving will bring. Plus, he's got a new black side by side to pick up because all they had was white. Wait til you hear who he has stand in line for him....while he delivers an important paper on a "vaccine that can blur the line between man and beast" at a professional conference in Boca Raton, Fla. Hoo boy. Later it's David G. Hall telling Phil in his negotiations with KFI, a station with only three letters, he tried to get another letter for Phil to say. And Bud and Robert ask Phil if, in addition to studying psychopaths, the FBI has an "undead bureau."