Hour 1: Ted Bell of Ted's of Beverly Hills joins the show to discuss an assault by his wife after she tried to stick a finger up his “you know where.” (Almost like a Steve Bosell bit.) Phil closes by revealing he did the voice of Ted. Hour 2: FIRST HALF. Bobbie Dooley says she got uterine cancer from a nasty bike at a workout center. Her story grows unbelievable. SECOND HALF. Phil takes calls, emphasizes they don't have any actors. Phil talks about porn actors doing news reports. Caller talks about Osama bin Laden. Hour 3: FIRST TWO THIRDS. Chris Norton with After Dark Escort Service, which allows unmarried women in their late 20's to get escorted. LAST THIRD. Phil talks to callers, the American idea of mens' fantasies, takes more calls, Phil hangs up on someone, says 'no talking about the show'.

Hour 1: FIRST HALF. David G. Hall comes on the program to tell Phil he should do a Physiology show due to what happened on the Jenny Jones show. A guy killed another guy and then the ratings went up. SECOND HALF. Phil promotes the Backstage Pass and an upcoming streaming video show. Phil on racial profiling. Hour 2: FIRST THIRD. Phil promoting the upcoming webcast. SECOND TWO THIRDS. Don Parsley lost his job as a department store Santa Claus. He got tired of the hypocrisy and called them lying sacks of shit. Hour 3: Phil discusses Santa Claus and the people who play him. Phil talks about Jim Rome and takes some regular callers. Flashback 2001-12-03.

Hour 1: Jay Santos of the Citizen's Auxiliary Police wants to get all the beards off of the Santa Clauses because his son mistook Bin Laden for Santa. Phil closes promoting the Backstage Pass, talks about the profiling of Saudis in America. Hour 2: FIRST HALF. Phil attempts to explain the idea of the show to the audience. He takes some calls from regular callers. SECOND HALF. Steve Bosell did not let his wife use the bathroom while driving in a sketchy part of town. She did it in the car, so he's suing her. He claims he was saving two lives. Hour 3: FIRST HALF. Flashback of 2001-11-29b AAM (not Vernon Dozier as erroneously introduced) as store Santa. SECOND HALF. Phil talks about Taliban member John Walker Lindh. Roland Schwinn talks about him not wearing underwear because it is unhealthy. Phil cracks up a bit as Roland explains.

Hour 1: FIRST HALF. (George Harrison has died.) Phil talks about how Star Wars will age, the 1960s generation gap and the Beatles. SECOND HALF. RERUN of 2001-09-26b Hour 2: FIRST HALF. RERUN of 2001-11-05b Vernon Dozier. SECOND HALF. Rerun of 2001-11-08a Hour 3: FIRST HALF. Rerun of 2001-11-30a Beatles. SECOND HALF. Rerun of 2001-10-05b

Hour 1: Flashback of Straight Outta Chatsworth. Phil talks about his home being messy, does some flashbacks. Hour 2: Austin Amarka is a store Santa who promises kids absolutely anything they want and has no regrets. Phil closes by talking about Santa and presents. Hour 3: FIRST HALF. Chris Norton wants to pose nude in Playboy showing men what to do when around sexy women. SECOND HALF. Phil talks about being invited to the Aspen Comedy Festival, and the fake 9-11 firefighter.

Hour 1: FIRST HALF. Vernon Dozier is furious over the Aladdin soundtrack because it's patently anti-American. SECOND HALF. Phil talks about the Phil Linton quiz. he offered huge prizes for impossibly hard questions. Hour 2: Bobbie Dooley is charging a woman in her HOA 90 dollars a month who is claiming to be the first to say that the missionaries arrested in Afghistan were dumb and ugly. Phil closes talking about Harry Potter. Hour 3: Phil talks about the show, does RC Collins with Straight Outta Chatsworth, and talks about Howard Hughes and his hygienic compulsions.

Hour 1: Dean Wheeler with California Chi Experience. a sweat lodge followed by an enema from the barrel of a Winchester to cleanse warmongering Americans of latent guilt. SECOND HALF. Phil hates IFBs, talks about movies. Hour 2: FIRST HALF. Jay Santos is shutting down the Vagina Monologues, throwing burkas over the actors to encourage some self-reflection. It turns out that when he was a kid his mom showed him her 'gina, and he gets into hysterics over women out there talking about their genitals. SECOND HALF. Afghanistan news, Carl Chodillia with deep fried peanut butter sandwiches. Hour 3: FIRST HALF. Jeff Dowder claims he was in the Army and had to use all kinds of laughable makeshift equipment. SECOND HALF. Phil on Vietnam, push-starting his car, autos in general.

Hour 1: FIRST HALF. Phil talks about life at home, kids fighting, flashback to Bobbie's turkey baster bit. SECOND HALF. Bob Green and friends are having a male-only dance night at a bar, but they're not gay. He says if anyone gives them trouble, they're gonna rock their world. Hour 2: FIRST HALF. Margaret Gray proposes a eugenics program to clone Hollywood's great actors and directors. SECOND HALF. Phil rants about taking the kids to a crowded Harry Potter movie and violent PS2 games. Hour 3: Herb Sewell wants the Marines in Afghanistan to install exotic golf courses in Afghanistan, because he's rich and pays a lot of money in taxes. Phil closes with a rant about TV in his house.

Hour 1: FIRST HALF. RERUN of 2001-10-25b Jim Sadler. SECOND HALF. RERUN of 2001-10-10a Hour 2: FIRST HALF. RERUN of 2001-10-24a Larry Grover. SECOND HALF. RERUN of 2001-11-06b Hour 3: FIRST HALF. RERUN of 2001-09-24b RCC Osama at Blockbuster. SECOND HALF. RERUN of 2001-10-19a

Hour 1: FIRST HALF. RERUN of 2001-10-19b TBE. SECOND HALF. RERUN of 2001-10-25a. Hour 2: RERUN of 2001-11-02b. Hour 3: FIRST HALF. RERUN of 2001-10-04b Margaret Gray. SECOND HALF. RERUN of 2001-10-22b.