Hour 1: Bobbie Dooley hates Erin Brockovich because she's doing things Bobbie could do if she had more time. Among those things is giving sex to Hollywood producers. Phil closes taking calls, talks about a passenger afraid of flying being assaulted, John Walker, Osama bin Laden. Hour 2: Bob Green is with Secret Admirers, who believe that stalking them is the best way to show one's love. He says he's being their guardian angel. He'll be taking care of a few things, like someone who thinks he's her boyfriend. Phil closes on listener phone calls making a difference, the lack of humor after 9/11. Hour 3: VARIETY.

David G. Hall kicked off the show tonight to get women to listen. He explains why women go days and days without taking a dump. Who cares if it's not sound advice. He's about getting women to listen. Art Bell closed the first hour to discuss an unexplained phenomenon: "as the day goes on, the sky gets darker." Bobbie Dooley joined us in the second hour with her Western Estates greeting. "It's a beautiful day in Western Estates. How are you?" Then they typically respond "how are you?" But Bobbie is pissed because Jason Stinsmellen didn't use the greeting and didn't comment on how hot she was dressed. Phil started the third hour with a rant about Chandra Levy's name. Phil said that it makes him want to puke. He also ranted about how the GOP wants black members but doesn't realize that you gotta care about them too. The show closed with Bud Dickman's weekly Top 10.

Margaret Grey started the show with to say that the Sopranos being stereotyped as mafia should stop. "Most Italians are greasy and mobbed up." Bobbie Dooley joined us in the second hour. She wants a teacher fired because he was teaching the kids to conserve energy. Bobbie is pissed because she doesn't want her kids to go without just so some poor guy can watch BET. Phil closed the show by taking calls from the listeners and playing the "Larry King" bit.

Bobbie Dooley kicked off the show tonight. She recently had her nails done and asked her maid to wipe her ass after crapping because she didn't want to ruin them. The maid refused, so Bobbie fired her. Now the maid is suing. Clara Bingham joined us in the second hour to discuss the possibility of Jesse Jackson going over to China to retrieve our boys. Clara thinks that if he's going to make the trip then he deserves an apology for everyone dissing him for that illegitimate child. Phil closed the second hour with a rant about the cops who shot an unarmed kid in Cincinnati, and a hypothetical boxing match: Jesus Christ vs Bruce Springsteen. Ted Bell was on in the third hour to challenge Tiger Woods to a one million dollar match. Ted thinks that he could smoke Tiger using his 25 handicap. Phil wrapped up the show by playing all the cuts from The Beatles' "1" album, but due to budgetary constraints could only play a half second of each track.

Bobbie Dooley started the show with a very controversial opinion about the recent school shooting. Bobbie thinks that the "dorks" who shot up the students in school need to know that the bullying they endured is just the way things are. They should be honored that popular kids would even spend attention on them. The second hour started with Austin Amarca, who was letting out the secret that all Nascar fans really love to see crashes and deaths. "When Dale Earnheardt died I had the best sex ever with my wife, and saw the face of Jesus." Phil closed the second hour with a rant about Wall Street. RC Collins kicked off the final hour saying that Jordan could come back to play ball for another ten years and still be competitive with the current players. Phil ended the show with a rant about the Lakers, Jordan, basketball, hocket, and his family tree.

Dave Oliva joined us in the first hour to discuss the abuse of power charges with the LAPD. He thinks they are bogus. It's just cops blowing off steam, having a few laughs. The LAPD have such a tough job it's hard to fault them for this. The second hour featured Rudy Canoza to discuss a recent report that says teens and women are smoking more. Rudy encourages it for teen girls because it will make them look cool and be more popular, which raises self-esteem. Bobbie Dooley wrapped up the show to discuss the recent documentary that shows Jesus as black. She thinks it couldn't be timed worse. It's Easter. Bobbie called an emergency meeting of the Western Estates Homeowners Association to discuss the possible reprecussions. She says that she's fine with it, but others might have a problem.

Freshly back from vacation, the first hour features Margaret Grey insisting that people let Spielberg build his five story stable and riding ring in Brentwood, CA. "He's done so much for us, let him have it." In the second hour Phil ranted and recounted his Christmas and New Years break. Art Bell briefly stopped by to tell people that Ray Walston was really a Martian. He didn't die. He was just called back home. Bobbie Dooley joined us in the third hour complaining about her neighbor selling Blue Seal cosmetics to parties at her home. Bobbie thought the women looked like crap. And to wrap up the show Phil briefly discussed how John Wayne movie titles all sound like gay porn.

Bobbie Dooley started off the show by discussing her recent Wintertacular Cruise. She was invited to sit at the Captain's table. Sandy Boucher was too fat and would embarass the girls, so she was asked to sit out. Bobbie and her friends have tried to help Sandy lose weight by calling her on the phone and oinking repeatedly at her. The second hour featured a rant about the escaped Texas convicts, screwing up your kids, and the voices used on the show. The third hour was closed by Art Griego, who was a Northwest Pilot fired for drinking on the job. Art thinks that all pilots take a pop before a flight, because it's a very combat-like job. Very nerve-wracking. Art argued that pilots all pukle before every flight.