Hour 1: FIRST HALF. Vernon Dozier is furious over the Aladdin soundtrack because it's patently anti-American. SECOND HALF. Phil talks about the Phil Linton quiz. he offered huge prizes for impossibly hard questions. Hour 2: Bobbie Dooley is charging a woman in her HOA 90 dollars a month who is claiming to be the first to say that the missionaries arrested in Afghistan were dumb and ugly. Phil closes talking about Harry Potter. Hour 3: Phil talks about the show, does RC Collins with Straight Outta Chatsworth, and talks about Howard Hughes and his hygienic compulsions.

Hour 1: FIRST HALF. Phil talks with callers about websites with his name as the domain name. SECOND HALF. Roland Schwinn's Thanksgiving Feast Exhibition. He eats in front of the homeless to encourage them to do better. Hour 2: FIRST HALF. Bobbie Dooley won't eat at a friends house because she thinks the turkey baster was used for insemination. SECOND HALF. Phil commentary, Radio Free Afghanistan with Raj Fahneen. Hour 3: FIRST HALF. Lloyd Bonafide says veterans and RV drivers should not have to use turn signals. SECOND HALF. Commentary, RC Collins calls in.

Hour 1: Bobbie Dooley on Educating Young Minds. The Dooleys won't be sucked in by the hoopla of the Harry Potter craze. Hour 2: Art Griego thinks that many plane crashes are caused by passengers who fail to follow regulations. Hour 3: The Jumpin Jovial Johnny Java Show. Phil talks a bit about his voice lessons and how Nine Inch Nails delayed a concert to listen to Phil.

Hour 1: RC Collins is a military cadet and clarifies some misconceptions that Phil and other civilian callers have about the military and combat. commandant Harvey Wireman appears at 30m. Phil closes laughing about the Taliban National Anthem. Hour 2: FIRST HALF. Phil talks about Afghanistan bombings. SECOND HALF. Bob McGraw is promoting Afghanistan charities to increase his spa business earnings. Hour 3: Bobbie Dooley accidentally shot the pool man and tries to justify it by saying our country is under attack and she might have gotten raped. Phil closes talking about ruining one's credit.

Hour 1: Bobbie Dooley went into her friend Janice's house wearing a surgical mask because it smelled bad. Hour 2: Jay Santos with Operation Kringle. He is intercepting childrens letters to Santa Claus and destroying them in a microwave on the popcorn setting in case they are laced with anthrax. He is telling kids that Santa isn't real. Hour 3: Chris Norton is offering to give women some human contact by having sex with them. He charges women that look subpar, such as one breast bigger than the other.

Hour 1: FIRST HALF. From The Strategic Non Violent Cultural Impact Committee, Dean opposes all sports during wartime. SECOND HALF. Phil talks about news, anthrax, and politics. Hour 2: FIRST HALF. Bobbie Dooley flies the HOA flag above the US flag and orders Hail To The Chief played when she walks into a board meeting. SECOND HALF. Phil rants about various things. Hour 3: Phil talks about post-911 news. Bud calls and wakes up Carson Daley.

Hour 1: FIRST HALF. Bob McGraw proposes sending American Arabs to internment camps that he calls 'dude ranches' or 'timeshare resorts'. SECOND HALF. Phil talks about post 9/11 issues and the anthrax issue, takes calls. Hour 2: FIRST HALF. Raj Fahneen is an angry Afghan man who says that Afghans are able to shoot American planes out of the sky, and he complains about food airdrops coming down with no parachutes. SECOND HALF. Phil on the upcoming subscription service, the terrorism alert, takes calls. Hour 3: FIRST HALF. Bobbie Dooley is prepared for the anthrax panic with gas masks, and thought the people running around in Florida without them was amusing. SECOND HALF. Phil talks about post 9-11 issues, takes calls, complains about the media not asking enough questions.

Hour 1: FIRST HALF. Phil talks about odd groups he runs into and the Chair Memorial. SECOND HALF. Brass Villanueva says Jennifer Lopez only giving 25K to charity makes Latinos look cheap. Hour 2: FIRST HALF. Phil talks about prepping after 9-11. SECOND HALF. Art Griego is a retired airline pilot who says the airlines should hire lesbian attack bitches as flight attendants. Hour 3: Ted Bell won't claim his steaks are disease free because no steak is (short bit). Flashback with Bobbie Dooley. SECOND HALF. Bud Dickman's Top NFL picks, Phil plans a subscription based website.

Hour 1: FIRST HALF. Phil comments on 9-11 and on the draft lottery. SECOND HALF. Jim Sadler thinks Reagan National Airport is naming an important place for an ex-president who can barely function and makes enemies think we don't know what we're doing. Hour 2: FIRST HALF. Bobbie Dooley is rationing gas masks and emergency supplies at her HOA according to income, with poor people last because they already have natural immunity. She got the idea from Titanic. SECOND HALF. Phil talks about drinking and the cops letting the news vans through a checkpoint, the Amish, his dislike of people with doomer prophecies of 9/11. Hour 3: FIRST HALF. Phil talks about Muslim interpretation of the 9-11 attacks. SECOND HALF. Herb Sewell comments on Barry Bonds home run record and ends up sounding like a racist.

Hour 1: Bobbie Dooley is fining homeowners in her HOA that are not flying a large enough flag. At 20:34 Phil lets caller Mindy off the hook mentioning he does all the voices. Phil says the last thing we need is hysterical people sending out e-mails. Phil talks to callers. Hour 2: FIRST HALF. RC Collins claims he saw Osama bin Laden at a Blockbuster in Van Nuys renting a movie and buying Jujubes. SECOND HALF. Phil comments on the 9/11 events, talks with callers about whether events should be canceled. Hour 3: FIRST HALF. Chris Norton says women are not patriotic because his candlelight dinner NYPD fundraiser. He did get bids but the women were not good-looking enough. SECOND HALF. Flashback of 2001-03-21c CBI. Phil talks about synthetic rubber and 9/11 events.