Hour 1:"Revirginization Center" Phil is joined by Dr.Jim Sadler who has bought an entire hour of advertisement on the show to talk about creating the illusion of being a virgin. David G. Hall calls in to yell at Phil for not letting Dr.Sadler finish the hour.Hour 2:Dean Wheeler & Warren Benman join the airwaves to offer Jerry Lewis $15 million dollars to cease his telethons. Phil talks about his birthday and turning 48.Hour 3:Jay Santos and the Citizens Auxiliary Police joins the program, they'll be pulling people over to check for faulty tires this weekend... be prepared to carpool! Darryl Webber & his Funky Chicken Cacophony Liquor Jamboree.

Hour 1:Attorney Harvey Wireman feels that Mark David Chapman (the man who shot John Lennon) should be set free because he's turned his life to Jesus. Pastor William Rennick says Stephen King supernaturally killed the man who hit him with his car because no one wHour 2:Jay Santos and the Citizens Auxiliary Police are stopping high school students and giving them urine tests to see if they've been using performance enhancing drugs.Hour 3:Phil talks about the agave cactus plant shortage and tequila, George Bush bloopers, Tyrell Owens of the 49'ers, and Anne Heche.

Hour 1:Art Griego from the Traffic Emergency HQ is proposing a "ride-a-long" program where young people commute with senior citizens to remind them of basic driving techniques. Phil talks about people who get car sickness.Hour 2:Jay Santos of the Citizens Auxiliary Police says it’s impossible for what’s going on in Yugoslavia to happen here because the light is green with the US police. Phil talks about Germans & Romanians.Hour 3:Chris Norton from Scientific Test Centers joins to the program to explain why he is videotaping women's gynecological exams & childbirths. Bob Bakian reports live with the news that Roseanna Barr is retiring.

Hour 1:Phil talks about TV Shows and merchandising rights. Jay Santos and the Citizens Auxiliary Police are stopping women in local malls and checking them for menopause symptoms.Hour 2:Aspiring LAPD officer Dave Oliva says the police has the right to expect privacy when they're "kicking a guys head in" and that if we keep videotaping cops they might not want to do their jobs anymore. Phil talks about the Olympics and the Soviet Union.Hour 3:Vice president of Syndication David G. Hall wants Phil to do a "Judge Phil" segment on his show where he calls people dirtbags, scumbags, and whores. Phil talks about the Jethro Tull and the difficulty with his website.

Hour 1:Austin Amarka explains how he deals with neighbors who leave a bowl of candy in front of their door on Halloween. Phil talks about celebrating Halloween during his bachelors years.Hour 2:Jay Santos and the Citizens Auxiliary Police are on the lookout for kids with backpacks because they might be copycat suicide bombers. Phil talks about being afraid of co-workers and being thrown out of a State beach.Hour 3:Chris Norton joins the program to talk about "Stress Relieving Massage Therapy", a new technique he has developed where he'll come straight to your office and give you an "erotic zone" experience.

Hour 1:Phil talks about the 2000 election coverage, the political divide in his household, great bars to drink and watch the presidential election at, and Ralph Nader. Journalist Margaret Grey calls the program, she believes a co-presidency between George W. BusHour 2:Dave Oliva calls the program to talk about possible voter fraud in the election, Alf and Doris from Florida chime in!Hour 3:Jay Santos joins the program to announce he has detrained Major Elvis Newton's son and questioned his wife for defacing federal currency.