by Margaret Grey---Rude, crude, foul and funky were the order of the day after an allegedly classy Chicago man was charged with disorderly conduct following a city employee finding brown stains and a foul odor coming off the man’s mailed in parking ticket. Can you believe it? The sad part. I'm familiar intimately with this kind of thing. Some one accused me of doing this with a speeding ticket. Nature’s toilet paper. Alexander Bailey, a 22-year-old from the Chicagoland area, allegedly also wrote a note on the ticket that he had wiped himself with it, lest there be any doubt. What a dumb ass. Like they can't figure that out Alexander. The city employee who found the crapped-up ticket informed police who then charged and locked up Bailey. "What are you in here for? "I wiped with a parking ticket." (Sound effects of Bailey being held down and raped) He was later released after posting $500 bail. The original ticket that Bailey allegedly wiped himself with was $15. So genius boy will pay the fine and an additional fine for the wipage and whataver it costs to get the number of a rape counseling hotline from directory assistance. I'm sorry. I can't stand people like that. As to the speeding ticket I used for ass duty,  I wrote on the back "My husband wiped with this." When they didn't believe me and I was jailed anyway I was mortified. They've got a fight coming. it's coming today* *Line from "Tombstone"

John Mark Karr (AP Photo/Los Angeles County Sheriffs Department) SAN FRANCISCO (Dicklin Syndicate) John Mark Karr, the sick creep once considered a suspect in the murder of 6-year-old beauty queen JonBenetRamsey, is trying to form a cult of little girls to have sex with him, according to a California teenager. Are you featuring this? Nineteen-year-old Samantha Spiegel, who appeared Wednesday on NBC's "Today" Show, said Karr is trying to recruit girls 6 and younger, and preferably brunette, for a sex cult she called "The Immaculates." What an asshole. And how about the "Today" show, true to form, leering and drooling ovee the whole thing.... In a further twist, Spiegel also claimed John Mark Karr is now living as a woman. That's the first part of this story that actually makes some sense to this reporter. Spiegel was granted a temporary restraining order against Karr April 19, but the courts have been unable to serve him with the papers because they can't find him. He may be out in the world somewhere getting his hair done or doing some grocery shopping. Ha Ha Ha (Sarcasm) Spiegel says she was nine when she first met Karr, who was a teacher's aide at her all-girls Catholic school. She lost touch with him, but attempted to reconnect after Karr confessed to the 1996 murder of JonBenet Ramsey, says Spiegel's attorney Robin Sax. By the way this Sax is also a contributor to a CBS web site for the program "48 Hours/Mystery" So why is she butting into this case other than as a glory hog trying to root and grunt for a little love? Stay Tuned...  Karr's bizarre, detailed confession in the Ramsey case was dismissed because DNA tests failed to connect him to the crime scene. He was tagged thereafter by investigators as a Thrill Boy, a kind of weirdo who hangs around murder scenes to get his cookies. Unfortunately for Spiegel, she says she opened up a door for Karr that she could not close. According to Sax, Karr began emailing and instant messaging Spiegel over a hundred times a day. My inmvestigation reveals that, yes, it's true. Buggy oddballs like this Karr will bother you until you beat them with a bat or they die some other way. The teen maintains that Karr, who now goes by the woman's name Alexis Valoran Reich, (this just keeps getting better) made what was described as "ongoing death threats" and "threats of exploitation to children" in emails. Spiegel, who claims Karr brainwashed her, says she and Karr had been engaged, and that he told her to help him recruit children. She even thought about letting him meet her niece. This girl sounds Manson-ed up to me. I mean she was on that fast track and it leads to only one place: Squeaky Terrace, a semi-sociopathic state in which the individual doesn't mind anyone dying as long as it isn't them or the Jesus personality, in this case Karr. She says she's speaking out now to help other potential victims. Our investigation reveals this may be bullshit on a platter. Our investigation reveals she may be looking to position herself with the DA. Stay tuned. "I think I was just thinking that he was misunderstood. He was a victim of his childhood, of his family, of everybody, and that he needed to be saved in some sort of way," Spiegel said. Typical of many women, even girls I guess (sigh) As for Karr's apparent name change, it was reported by media outlets as early as March that Karr was undergoing a full gender transformation. He may be looking as well to species reassignment surgery whereby the recipient recieves the genitals of a house pet. Karr has also allegedly inquired into recieving the reproductive system of an orange so stay tuned for that.--Margaret Grey

June 11, 2010 Lightweights I must have been too busy last week with my Jason Jay Delmonico's exploding acting career because I. guilty as charged,  missed this story. The first shot was fired in a possible civil war among conservative media "giants" although I doubt it'll last long if it happens at all. In a new biography on sale Tuesday, Rush Limbaugh calls fellow conservative talk show host Bill O’Reilly a “Ted Baxter” — after the fictional character on the “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” who was portrayed as a vain, shallow, buffoonish, stupid ass of a TV newsman. “Sorry but somebody’s gotta say it,” Limbaugh says in Rush Limbaugh: An Army of One by Zev Chafets. At press time, O’Reilly was too frightened to comment for fear his wit would be rapidly gutted by Limbaugh's. He was said to have been drinking heavier than usual at Noney's, a New York media saloon, as the week wore on. But it wasn’t just Bilbo who took grief from the Big Wind. Limbaugh said he doesn’t consider any of his fellow conservative talk show hosts to be in his league. “Sean Hannity and Mark Levin are protégés,” writes Chafets, charitably “and [Limbaugh] has defended Glenn Beck.” But Limbaugh “doesn’t really consider them, or anyone else, in his league.” He didn't mention Phil Hendrie because a hack like Chafets isn't that clued in.  But Bill O’Reilly as Ted Baxter? Baxter was way sexier, a much better dresser, had good, clean breath and most likely never passed an STD. But other than that!! Bwahahahaha! Margaret Grey Reporting

by Margaret Grey People waiting "on line" (I used that term before anyone else did here in America) for the new iPhone 4 in Los Angeles were treated to the sight of an Apple Store employee escorting Justin Bateman inside when he spotted Mr. Bateman way, way back in line and realized that wouldn't do. But then, shockingly, those very same people who got to see Jackson Bateman escorted inside without even being charged,  apparently booed Mr. Bateman as he exited the store. Oh My Good Gorgeous God! (OMGGG) If they knew who he was, this means they knew he was an actor that they were seeing in the flesh and yet they didn't want his autograph and they let him know they didn't like him. Has the world gone mad? Such activity might be expected from studio executives or other famous people who couldn't care (quotiong Ian McShane in 'Sexy Beast') "one infintesimal fack!" But for regular people who are no one in particular and who could lay for days in the street before medical assistance is summoned to boo a Josh Bateman, you want to be sick.