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Show Log

Show Log For Thursday February 28, 2013

What price a Ted? Tonight Phil talked with Ted Bell about football salary caps and a female kicker trying out with the New York Jets. But Ted's real topic of discussion was concerning how he was not being taken seriously as a sports reporter. When conversation swung around to how much a Ted cost at his restaurant, Ted blurted out "When Seth McFarland used to sell his ass down on Wilshire for the price of a Ted, his ass was worth exactly $9.95." Bobbie Dooley discussed Joan Rivers controversial joke about the Holocaust and Hiedi Klums dress. Bobbie said that she and Steve used to be insensitive to the Holocaust as well "until we tried eating that box lunch on the way to Oktoberfest and suddenly felt ill." Bunch of other baloney

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

On this Thanksgiving Eve, Phil talks with Ted Bell in a far ranging interview. The Beverly Hills restaurantuer tells Phil he does not serve Thanksgiving turkey at his restaurant because it attracts "losers who come shuffling in and then order off the appetizer menu." Ted went on to tell Phil that in 1983 when the annual Army-Navy football game traveled to the Rose Bowl in Pasadena, he decided to put on a promotion for Thanksgiving. The game was such a bust with very little interest there was no business for his restaurant either. Ted told Phil's audience he went into his office that night, pulled "a bottle of Stoly from a desk drawer and within 20 minutes I was slobbering drunk. They had to call my wife." Since then, once a year on the anniversary of the Army-Navy game, Ted hates the military.

Friday, January 14, 2011

It was Ted Bell from Ted's of Beverly Hills telling Phil about firing two food servers who didn't want to have to watch "Jersey Shore" in order for them to be "conversant about the hippest shows with customers." The two women were Italian-American and found the show offensive but Ted says he likes to "relax looking at these duimb (whispered) greaseballs especially since two guys tried to 'put the arm' on my father a few years ago." Clearly Ted's talking about organized crime but he presses on. "Plus, that show has made it okay to say things like (whispered) guinea." Vernon Dozier appeared on the show tonight to tell Boomers they should live "every ounce of their lives" before they even think about leaving a will or an estate plan. Vernon believes that relatives and others after a certain point go from loving you to rubbing their hands together waiting for you to check out. Vernon wants the most out of life and then he'll make out his will. He talked about wanting to go out "sailing down the back stretch of the Daytona 500, getting air and flying off the track becoming a fireball just out of sight. If I have done my will before that, great. If not every penny goes to the state and I dont care. I'll be a flaming ball of energy, basically the Sun."

Friday, July 13, 2012

Ted Bell from Ted's of Beverly Hills is looking to have a tv commercial produced but is worried that his "trademark has been infringed." By watching a local commercial for a barbecue place Ted became attracted to the spokeswoman, a "large gal with a big ass." That goes against everything Ted thinks he represents. He's afraid he's going to want to spend more time at the barbecue place than his own restaurant and eventually produce a tv spot with"the same big assed girls in checkered shirts." RC Collins along with a fellow cadert, only identified as Watson, joined the show to comment on the death of Sage Stallone. RC told Phil that doctors pushing prescription meds illicitly should be reported by "Deepok Choda." Meanwhile Watson kept mumbling about making Micheal Myers, the evil character in the film "Halloween," his "bitch" and was badgering the mess hall staff to make him tater tots.

Ep. 239

Friday, January 10, 2014

Another night of Phil on location shooting Marc Maron's show, so we've got some more great Comedy Gold for you from January 2, 2002. Hour 1: Ted Bell joins Phil to discuss performance cars. Ted talks about his Jaguar Vanden Plas that his nephew got in and farted. His nephew, who Ted can't seem to remember the name of, has ruined the new car smell and the resale value is now 3000 dollars lower. Ted believes it was a willful act because his sister in law has always hated him. Hour 2: Bobbie and Steve Dooley are on to promote couples should go out and not stay home on New Years Eve and not stay home and watch Dick (Clark) because that makes you a loser. Bobbie wants to attract younger couples to buy in Western Estates and she will even risk drinking and driving to go out on New Years Eve. Bobbie's solution was to send out a memorandum to Western Estates homeowners to go out for at least 2 hours on New Years Eve. While Bobbie calls callers losers, Steve cant resist making dick jokes in the background. Phil then played a flashback with Alf who was a secret Santa to widows of WWII veterans. The caveat is he gives them a crisp $100 bill and expects sex. Hour 3: Phil talked about cars he has owned and takes calls about pieces of crap cars that listeners have owned in the past.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Ted Bell, feeling maligned and taken advantage of, ripped into Phil tonight for calling for some information and not offering to throw in a free commercial for Ted's Of Beverly Hills. Ted then used as his excuse for the meltdown some story about him being blackmailed by a former Army buddy who he claims he had a gay affair with. Then, after Bud spilled the beans, Ted turned the whole thing on its head and told everyone he was kidding, that he's seen a movie called "Advise and Consent" the night before with a similar plot development. Steve Bosell was brought on the show to tell about the night he went dancing with his male friends, even slow dancing, but was thinking about his wife April all night." Frank Grey's gender confusion was in overdrive as he talked about Burt Lancaster, Kirk Douglas and his dear friend George Reeves whose scenes in "From Here To Eternity" were cut down considerably. "She was one of a kind and to cut her out of that 'from here to hell and back' or whatever it was a called was a great disservice to her.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Ted Bell announces he'll be selling horse steak after Congress lifts a ban on horsemeat inspection that clears the way for the sale of horsemeat for human consumption. The only caveat for Ted is that Phil and his callers not actually say the words "horse" or horsemeat." One competing restaurant in Beverly Hills leaked word that Ted is selling "jack ass steak." Finally Ted raised the ire of a few callers when he assured Jewish listeners that horse is kosher.

Ep. 457

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

The show kicks off with a visit from Ted Bell, who feels some people have been making money on his back, i.e. the movie TED, United rebranded as TED, and of course the TED talks. Later Vernon Dozier recaps the disappointing softball season.

Ep. 1091

Thursday, December 29, 2016

Ted Bell introduces the teen-aged Justin McElroy who’s written a new commercial jingle for Ted’s of Beverly Hills. Deane Wheeler is at the club rehearsing Emerelda’s number “Go With It.” He starts crying after telling Phil’s audience that he’s following everyone back on Twitter. Phil and Margaret speculate on whether or not Deane is using again. Don Micksa tells the crew not to let how funky his breath is deter them from Trump’s message on Cruz’s citizenship. The longer they fixate on that, the longer they don’t get what Trump is saying. Originally aired January 8, 2016. The BSP Classic Hour is from May 2002. Bobbie Dooley is excited about being vicariously molested by a basketball coach due to her son having been molested.

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