Hour 1: Nearly half of all U.S. children and 90 percent of black youngsters will be on food stamps at some point during childhood. Vernon Dozier comes on the show to talk about this. He says he was hungry as a kid and children should pass out from hunger at least once in their lives, even if they die. Everyone wants their MaMa and food stamps aren't that bad. Jeff Dowder calls 911 to ask how to hang up a telephone. Hour 2: Chris Norton is with the group Disband. He says the religious symbol, the wedding band, offends single men. It's not a separation of church and state. He proceeds to hit on all the female callers. Hour 3: Vernon Dozier comes on the show to talk about a study that says children should be allowed to sleep in on the weekends to fight obesity. Vernon disagrees. He runs a fat camp called Camp Possibility. He says the study has no viability because the Chinese conducted it. He says fat people are worthless and they're not contributing to society. At the 12:35 mark Dean Wheeler is on the show to talk about the Fort Shoot shooting. Dean says that the shooter Nidal did this to get out of going to war by wounding himself. He thinks that the incident was a blessing to say how wars are destructive, and mental health isn't an issue because Nidal was a psychiatrist. He would have self-diagnosed himself. He says it was humiliating for him to be wounded by a female police officer.

On the show tonight Dr. Michael Stone joined us for Crime Night.  We discussed the sad case of Phoebe Prince, the girl that hanged herself after being mercilessly taunted by kids at school. Dr. Stone opined that jealousy may have been a part of the motive. When Phil asked him why the doctor responded, "Because one of the girls that harrassed Phoebe was butt-end ugly." Later in the show Vernon Dozier, a high school teacher at Belmar Academy, announced the return of Home Economics to his schools curriculum. The reason, said Vernon, was that home sales are way down and it may be because the homes that are up for sale are filthy. Women need to keep their homes cleaner. No one wants to buy a house that smells "like a dead body." To drive home the point  about how depressed the real estate business was, Vernon mentioned his brother-in-law, who is a real estate salesman. Vernon told Phil that his brother-in-law, while talking about business, brought up the Donner party and the relative merits of cannibalism.

Phil, Margaret, Bud and Robert bring on Harvey Wireman who has a gig reading a book on tape. He's narrating "David Mambo's new one." (He means David Mamet) Ted Bell also joins the show to see if Harvey is good enough to read a book in person at Ted's of Beverly Hills. He has Harvey read from the menu, Lloyd Bonafide also joins the so-called discussion. Later Vernon Dozier comes on to talk about the ending of the NFL referee strike. During his rant he grows agitated with the beer he's drinking and tells his wife Amber to "get some Miller High-Life in this funky joint!" He hangs up on Phil when Phil starts lecturing him on another bit of Vernon behavior. It seems Vernon sling-shot a "dog turd" into a guys mouth who had flown onto the football field during a game wearing a jet-pack. "I don't like people playing God," said Vernon Margaret sang "I Don't Know" by Ozzy but then punched Bud to the ground and kicked him repeatedly in the ribs after he told her to "sing it better." Margaret then told Robert to drag Bud outside and "throw some water on him."