Tonight Steve Bosell took us on a weird journey through the land of "butt dial." When he accidentally calls his daughter from his truck she hears Steve singing along to "Man, I feel like a woman" by Shania Twain. Well, by sundown the recording of it is all over CK Corona School and in the hands of it's dark head mistress Erica Dorton. Steve calls Delores Blasingame, his blood-sucking laweyer, to insure no one "thinks I'm gay" if they hear the recording... Dean Wheeler drives Phil nuts with the belief that because 40,000 stopped following President Obama on Twitter it's like a physical assault. Never mind they thought the President was spamming them with messages about raising the debt ceiling, Dean said is was "unpatriotic" to unfollow the President!

Clara Bingham shared with Phil her plan for a "punitive tax" against womens clinics that perform abortions since they are terminating someone that otherwise would be paying taxes. Then again they are terminating someone that might be panhandling too "like that saxaphone player you see everyday Mr. Hendrie at the corner of Westlake Blvd. and the 101." Lloyd Bonafide is organizing the "Senior Crusade Sheba Buffet." If the country defaults or otherwise meets messier economic times it's without doubt our seniors will be "eating cat food" says Mr. Bonafide. So he's setting up tables near the Capitol building where he'll serve Sheba cat food on Carr's crackers and "seven grain sprouted bread" to any congressman passing by.

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Curt Queedy and Guy Barton of the West Virginia State Senate talked about the debt ceiling, what a "koo-kooback" was (a kickback is crazy so the boys call it a 'koo-kooback'), a "goo-gooback" (a kickback is also childish hence 'goo-gooback') how a woman named "Mrs Fonebone" went into the ringtone business and started "Mrs. Fonebone's Ringtones" and why a deputy sheriff who is the son of Charlestons chief of police belongs in a nut house. Later it was Bob Green, live from "Buena Park Billiards" weighing in on the Netflix price hike. Bob told Phil that while the price was raised the Netflix customer will pay it and stay loyal because "that's what they were told to do, just like I tell my customers: 'You see this baby food. You'll buy it and you'll eat it....even if it's made out of baby because I told you to.'"

Tonight it was Doug Dannger, a gay man and a gay journalist, advocating "gay bunkers" in the event of social collapse and chaos. In these, gay men and lesbians would live to insure their survival. What about progeny (children)? Doug said that the gay men would have to "explain to the lesbians where their duty lie." Vernon Dozier, while leading a summer school class in stretching exercises, saw one of his testicles fall out of his "short." (Since they are a "pair of shorts" then one leg of them would be a "short") One of the giorls in class saw this and told her parents. Now Vernon is forced to correct the situation. One solution was a series of alarms: a dive alarm, a gong and a horn playing wa-wa-wa.

Dr. Ron Tarner tells Phil of the "heartbreak of Ancestry.com" When investigating family ancestry with his son Josh, Ron found that "a branch of the family dips down to the Everglades in Florida and that means they might have been thieves and murderers and violated dress codes." Another branch, said Dr. Tarner, headed toward New Jersey where "a mixed race of people lived, part white, part black, part German, all bad." Next hour Don Berman of Channel 19 News talked with Phil about his plans to go to New York this weekend and marry a gay man, even though he, Don, is straight. "It's in solidarity," says Don. Even if there were no gay men to get married, two straight guys should marry to show they support gay marriage. Don even got tired of being hounded by his intended and one night said "To hell with it" before yanking down his pants and settling in with a drink.

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Jim Nancy from FACT (Free American Communication and Telecommunication) came on to talk about Rupert Murdoch and how it's very likely Murdoch is doing in America what he did in the UK, that is phone hacking. Jim suspects Murdoch sent around to Jim's apartment a screaming 12 year old boy who was loud enough to disrupt Jim's interviews of "victims of police violence." He said he told the kid to get lost and the kid "gave me the fingah'." Steve Bosell has that problem again: Not knowing there's something really wrong with him. Steve says his daughter received a new toy, the "Breast Milk Baby," a doll that teaches girls how to breast feed. Steve said that because of adult films featuring lactating women it's natural for any men to associate sex with breast feeding. And that's why Steve "popped one" when he saw his daughter using the "Breast Milk Baby" toy.