Hour One:RC Collins comes on to say that as a young cadet at a military Academy, he has the right to partake in one of the military's greatest traditions: Going to the Donkey Show in Tijuana. It's something the Marines at Pendleton and the Navy seamen in San Diego have been doing for years so why can't he.Hour Two:Love Songs with Bob features love song dedications from NAMBLA members to their.....well anyway, Bob keeps playing the song "I Believe In Miracles" by Hot Chocolate. Whatever. Then Pastor William Rennick and his wife Miss Clara call in as the tune "I Believe In Miracles" is playing and the good Pastor does the Running Man, Cabbage Patch, Watusi, Mashed Potatoes and the Sprinkler as Clara does commentary. Rudy Canosa, owner of J'tiem Lingerie has a problem. Rudy, of the Argentinean love call "La-La-La," tells Phil a Muslim woman came into his shop and he was only having fun when he said to her, "Do you believe in Al-La-La-Lah?" Margaret Grey says that Robert Blake being found not guilty of killing his wife will only encourage guys like David Arquette ("a real screwball") and Brad Pitt to kill theirs. James Lipton of the Actors Studio interviews Leatherface. And then Leatherface chainsaws Lipton and takes over as host of the show. His first guest is Mickey Rourke. And he chainsaws Mickey Rourke. And then David G. Hall calls, interrupts the bit, and screams at Phil for milking it and not having any punch line. Phil says he does and all he ends up doing is having Leatherface chainsaw someone else. David is right.Hour Three:Jay Santos of the Citizens Auxiliary Police believes Easter only scares kids who aren't raised in Christian homes because its all about "some guy coming back from a dirt nap." He will be monitoring conversations in restaurants and if he hears "any of this Jesus zombie talk" he'll ask people to stop. It turns out jay is an atheist and his agenda is fairly obvious. Not that the callers get it.

Hour 1:Phil reads some news. Mavis Leonard is on an F-16 jetfighter on her way to Barbados. Phil talks about meeting Lou Dobbs.Hour 2:Jay Santos & the Citizens Auxiliary Police are visiting elementary schools in Southern California to talk to young people about safety and crime. This presentation includes a simulation of a drug hallucination where Jay removes all of his clothing.Hour 3:Producer Tony Neal is on to talk about a new reality show called "Escape From Fashion Island" where college students compete to successfully abduct children from a mall to win a million dollars. Tony says the show will educate people about child abduction.

Hour 1:Jay Santos is on with Phil to discuss the two prisoners who escaped from Iowa. One of them has been caught and it happens to be the Mexican. Jay thinks it makes perfect sense that the Mexican got caught. Phil plays a listener flashback from 8-2-04 called Tim Robbins the Report: Cherry Dessert Topping. Phil openly discusses the Theo Van Gogh Anniversary of his death, it was Nov 2nd. Charlie wants to know if Phil is serious or being sarcastic about his comments regarding Theo Van Gogh. R.C. Collins calls in to ask Phil a question about classical violin players. He's bothered that they are all Chinese and decides to Baba Booey Phil.Hour 2:Bobbie Dooley calls in to talk with Phil about her recent findings. She found out that Steve's second cousin is related to a Nazi. Tune in to find out what listeners think about her and her family.Hour 3:Phil plays two tracks off of the Best Of 2005 C.D. He plays Dean Wheeler's "Smoking in The Military" and Bob Greene's "Hold my Salami".

Hour 1:Bob Greene owner of Frazier foods is on to discuss turkeys. Tune in too see what happens when Bob announces he is offering frozen turkeys and calling them fresh at a higher cost. Will the audience agree or disagree?Hour 2:Jay Santos of the Citizens Auxiliary Police is on to discuss what he will be doing to help out this Thanksgiving season. HE thinks it is abnormal to be alone on Thanksgiving, and decides he will investigate all of those that are not with friends or family members. What will the audience think when Jay says this?Hour 3:Phil plays a listener flashback called Michael Moore from 5-26-04. Phil announces the C.D. signing in Arcadia, CA at Dave & Busters. Be there to get your Best of 2005 signed by Phil and watch him do what he does every night on the air live!

Hour 1:Jay Santos & the Citizens Auxiliary Police are visiting elementary schools in Southern California to talk to young people about safety and crime. This presentation includes a simulation of a drug hallucination where Jay removes all of his clothing.Hour 3:Elementary school teacher Clara Bingham had her classes make cards to send to soldiers in Iraq. Clara says the cards came out so horrible she threw them out and sent nude photos of herself instead.

Hour 1:Jay Santos joins the program to talk about the "Citizens Auxiliary Police Basketball Follies," an entertainment/comedy basketball team he has devised that performs at high schools around Southern California. Jay discusses the fact that after their performances they'll often meet up with the kids (most of which happen to be girls) and take them out for some fast food in their convertibles.Hour 2:Grocer Bob Greene discusses a new policy at Frazier Foods: They are asking customers that write checks to have them completely filled out before they get to the check stand.Hour 3:Chiropractor Kyle Holster joins the program to help fix Phil's bad neck. Phil talks about "Teachers", his upcoming Super bowl event appearance, gay people, Trey Parkers wedding reception, and Coach Jags. Jeff Dowder calls in, he wants residuals for his work in "Team America." Phil talks about KFI under heat for Islamic remarks.

Hour 1:Jeff Dowder claims pureeing hallucinogenic mushrooms will cure cracked feet. Lloyd Bonifide makes the puree and gets high. The Elliot Vaneer show: Elliot was diagnosed with AIDS today! Dean is looking for the Hollywood Sign, Margaret Gray calls in to help. Phil thinks we are the most advanced species in the universe.Hour 2:Jay Santos joins the program to talk about the "Citizens Auxiliary Police Basketball Follies," an entertainment/comedy basketball team he has devised that performs at high schools around Southern California. Jay discusses the fact that after their performances they'll often meet up with the kids (most of which happen to be girls) and take them out for some fast food in their convertibles.Hour 3:Steve Bosell is suing Herbal Essence Shampoo because he says the commercials that show a woman moaning pleasurably as she shampoos with the product send the message that women don't need men "just a locked door and en electric toothbrush."

Hour 1:Jay Santos joins the program to talk about "Project Safe Street." This week Jay and his sub commanders will be approaching people on the street and simulating assaults to make sure they are prepared when it comes to dealing with crime.Hour 2:Former pilot Art Griego joins the program to talk about Thunderbird, an aviation game where commercial pilots play "chicken" in the air with passengers on board.Hour 3:Phil talks about George Clooney, RC Collins reviews this weeks episode of "The Sopranos", and Raj Faneen recalls his flashback with Vernon Dozier. Phil reads some e-mail and plugs his appearance on the Adam Carolla show tomorrow. Caller Teresa wants to know what song was that Phil played.

Hour 1:Margaret Gray helps Phil reminisce about his radio days in 1990. Lloyd Bonafide wants to know if Phil read the story about Kevin Costner playing with himself at a massage parlor. A caller named Christian calls in from a newsstand where he's seen the Kevin Costner story. Charlie hates Phil's show, always has, but he always listens. RC Collins thinks Paul Newman was yankin' it at a massage parlor. Harvey Wireman says Phil's paranoid for thinking Jamie Kennedy stole his show idea from Phil.Hour 2:Jay Santos joins the program to talk about "Project Safe Street." This week Jay and his sub commanders will be approaching people on the street and simulating assaults to make sure they are prepared when it comes to dealing with crime.Hour 3:Lloyd Bonifide recently got a ticket from a CHP officer. Lloyd claims that he was simply trying to observe and make a record of someone who was abusing the carpool lane.