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Thursday, February 16, 2012

Margaret Grey, whose column 'A Little Bird Told Me' appears in some 150 newspapers nationally, commented on the coverage of Whitney Houstons death, calling it sexist and defamatory. "Women are chained to a cinderblock of sexual submission and the minute they want to go out and grind their (whispered) asses into a man's crotch on the dance floor they're called 'crack 'ho's.' Then Margaret gave out one of her patented belches.

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

How safe can a woman traveling with a son be out on our interstates, especially when that woman is trying to keep cool in her car by hiking her skirt up above her waist and feeling the air conditioning? Well, Margaret Grey talked with Phil tonight about truckers that pull up alongside women in cars and try and look down through the windshield to "get an eyeful." When Phil asked Margaret about traveling with her son while she's insuch a state she said "if that boy turns to his left and gets a smile on his face I'll drive my fist through his head."

Thursday, November 29, 2012

David G. Hall and Vernon Dozier both ganged up on Phil to make he sure he didn't "get his cookies" reading about an Alabama man who was given two years in jail for dragging his testicles over another mans face, a man that had passed out drunk after a football game... Art Griego's "Constrictor" was demonstrated tonight. Supposedly fastened around a mans testicles and tightened, it can make a mans voice sound as high-pitched as possible. In the case of black men, as demonstrated by Milwaukee radio host Cat Sampson, it can make them sound white Phil talked about how tired he was of Jack from the Jack in the Box ads...and got into an argument with Bud, Robert and Margaret over whether he's a "Jack in the Box" or a clown.... Lindsay Lohan having been arrested in the "meatpacking district" of New York Thursday night was occasion for Margaret Grey to opine that Lohan was arrested for prostitution. "If you're arrested in the meatpacking district figure it out!"

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Jay Santos returns to talk about a boy abducted at the age of 5 and now 24 who was recently located. The child was kidnapped by his grandparents. Jay said that the Citizens Auxiliary Police method in getting the child out of the house would be to "toss in some smoke bombs, to try and smoke the old people out or toss in Piccolo Petes or Roman Candles. See we get most of our ordnance from the Red Devil fireworks stands around the fourth." Margaret Grey laughed when Phil referred to the young child, Richard Lander, as "little Richard" thinking he was talking about the singer and used that as an opportunity to sing "Tutti Fruitti." Margaret also commented on the flu vaccine shortage and said she'd threaten any doctor trying to sexually harass her with exposure to the virus by taking off her surgical mask and saying "hey handsome, I haven't been vaccinated" and then breathing in his face...

Monday, June 26, 2000

Hour 1:Back from vacation, Phil talks about his trip to Mexico, stations that rerun his show, and his strange fans. Phil welcomes Margaret Gray who wants Phil to give away bumper stickers that say "America: OPEC's Jail Bitch."Hour 2:Margaret Grey believes that Mike Tysons "ear biting" comments were very African. Phil welcomes Brass Villehnueva who claims he instigated the recent Staples Center riot.Hour 3:Phil discusses the famous "leg crossing scene" in the movie Basic Instinct. Liberals beware, it's Phil The Phrohet! Phil talks about relationships and ordering Tull tickets.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Hour One:We kicked off with Bud's Radical NASCAR Accidents, featuring, of course, the Daytona 500 fender benders and Bud's reading the details of them while screaming and hitting sound effects. Then David G. Hall admonishes Phil to lay off the sports material just because he's carried on sports stations, notably his new affiliate in LA, XTRA Sports AM 570. Phil plays a listener request which is a mock soccer game Phil did once and that gets Phil reminiscing about Miami Cuban radio and some guys he used to listen to. Phil then says that the Germans are scumbags for calling Bush Hitler and that prompts a call from Margaret Grey who tells Phil he doesn't know jack-squat about it. She then tries to sing "Blowin" In The Wind" but Phil has Bud call in an air strike on Margaret. As she's being hit with Shock and Awe, she blurts out a final "I'll see you in hell, Phil Hendrie."Hour Two:Dave Oliva, a young student who eventually wants to be LAPD comes on to discuss how American Idol encourages domestic violence. His reasoning? Men see Simon "Cow" and "Paul" Abdul telling women who audition for the show that they're butts are too large or their clothes are wrong. So they tell their women things with the same directness and the women don't like it. The men are confused so naturally they belt the women.Hour Two:Lloyd Bonafide, a Korean war veteran and retired heating and plumbing man, reads aloud an e-mail he sent to the different media about the images of Terry Schiavo on TV and how they show the comatose woman "grinning like she just hit the lottery" Lloyd, naturally, thinks she's somehow grinning at him as if its funny being in a coma and watching Lloyd obsess over his sexual dysfunction problem. Then at the end of the hour Lloyd insists on singing "Hungry Heart" as part of his warm up before auditioning for "American Idol."

Friday, March 4, 2005

Hour One:Mavis Leonard, an elderly African American listener, calls Phil to say that Martha Stewart should still be in prison because if it were Oprah Winfrey, she's be "in the hole for thirty days and then cast down with the Sodomites." We then had a listener flashback request for the famous "Kiss The Gunner's Daughter" line with R.C Collins and Harvey Weirman.Hour Two:The hour kicked off with American Idol auditions featuring Lloyd Bonifide singing "Eye of the Tiger," Margaret Grey singing "Hello," R.C. singing "Tell Her About it" and Ted Bell singing "Manic Monday." The judges are Phil, Bud and David G. Hall. During the competition, as usual, Margaret and Lloyd almost get into a fist fight. Phil then talks about the horrifying story of a guy getting his face chewed off by a chimp and then welcomes on Steve Riesling of the San Diego Zoo who can't remember what a baboon or orangutan are called and spaces on what you call a giraffe.Hour ThreeArt Bell Coast to Coast starts the hour. General Johnson Jameson has been manipulating the brain of a monkey to see if it can communicate with humans. After General Jameson's final series of tests the monkey emerges from the gurney with a crisp, Oxford, England accent and twice the brains of Jameson and proceeds to kick the Generals' be-hind at scrabble. Phil then gives Bud more crap about his Babe of the Week, Paula Zahn and then he talks about the Italian journalist wounded in Iraq. Brass calls to say enough with the scores, he wants to hear more about Kobe's private life and then Phil closes out with a talk about how the NBA is probably the most criminal enterprise in America today.

Tuesday, March 8, 2005

Hour One:Steve Bosell, the Corona construction contractor started taking magic lessons mail-order so he could work kids birthday parties on weekends. So he goes to these kid's parties as "Magic Steve" and does his thing but the kids tell him he sucks and would rather play in the bounce house. Steve decides to sue the mother and father that hosted one of these parties because since kids are minors "they don't have the constitutional right to free speech." And the kids exercising their free speech by walking out on his boring magic show is therefore illegal.Hour TwoDavid Hall comes on to tell Phil that he has a brain tumor and isn't expected to live. When Phil gets emotional, David says he's only kidding and just wanted to "liven up the show." Then a a woman from down South calls to say she suffered a brutal rape just two months ago and there is nothing funny about what Mister Hall just did. Then her voice changes to a mans and she says "Baba-Booey!" We then played a listener flashback with Austin Amarca and had Walter Cronkite on to say Dan Rather, while being a very good friend, is queer. Lloyd Bonifide does an angry version of "Who Let the Dogs Out" and then Phil explains to Bud how Dan Rather simply got caught in the grinding wheels of the new internet style journalism and was unprepared. Herb Sewell, broadcastings only convicted child molester-turned news commentator, came on to report on the Michael Jackson trial.Hour ThreeWe open with a heavyweight championship fight between Paris Hilton and a fictional IBC champion, Billy Brewer. Brewer stops Hilton in the 4rth round with a TKO. Phil then talks boxing, more specifically watching Ali with the kids and how he tried to explain to the kids who Ali was. Margaret Grey comes on to say that after coming back from Venezuela where she had "buttock augmentation" she was sure at least one man would "have the common decency to come up to me and say 'nice butt.'" It didn't happen and Margaret thinks its because her butt is so nice, the guys don't want to offend their "flat-assed wives." Then Phil reads an e-mail from a 13 year old listener and explains why he can't exactly encourage kids to listen to his show, a decidedly adult comedy show.

Friday, March 11, 2005

Margaret Grey is with the Women's Resolution Center. She comes on to explain that domestic violence in this country would decrease if women learned how to take a punch. She says they are out of condition and have lousy foot work. Women's Resource trainer Jim McDougal joins her and Margaret insists he hit her square on the chin, a knockout punch, to show how she has learned to take one. He belts her and sends her flying down some stairs. Lloyd Bonafide, a Korean war veteran and retired heating and plumbing man, reads aloud an e-mail he sent to the different media about the images of Terry Schiavo on TV and how they show the comatose woman "grinning like she just hit the lottery" Lloyd, naturally, thinks she's somehow grinning at him as if its funny being in a coma and watching Lloyd obsess over his sexual dysfunction problem. Then at the end of the hour Lloyd insists on singing "Hungry Heart" as part of his warm up before auditioning for "American Idol." Don Berman from the Channel 19 news room is on to talk about new, stringent FCC guidelines being proposed for broadcasters. He says they are welcome in light of the fact they protect children from indecent or improper material. But he cautions that once you file a complaint about a broadcaster, your name and address becomes public record and the disc jockey or talk show host you helped get fired, already working in a business with unstable people, may fuel himself on Benzedrine and Johnny Walker Black, gain access to your residence in the middle of the night, attack you in your bed and make a mask out of your flesh.

Friday, April 15, 2005

Hour 1: Tony runs some adult websites with child-oriented names…but says blame the parents and the churches if kids get a glimpse of his smut.Hour 2: Steve Bosell compares the Pope and Terry Schiavo. He says Terry Schiavo should have been allowed to die. Caller Tracey disgrees with the way Steve compares the Pope to Mrs.Schiavo.Hour 3: Margaret Grey is with the Women's Resolution Center. She comes on to explain that domestic violence in this country would decrease if women learned how to take a punch. She says they are out of condition and have lousy foot work. Women's Resource trainer Jim McDougal joins her and Margaret insists he hit her square on the chin, a knockout punch, to show how she has learned to take one. He belts her and sends her flying down some stairs.

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