Wednesday, October 20, 2004 Hour 1: Jay Santos and the Citizens Auxiliary Police are making judgement calls about rescuing flash flooding victims. They they look at a flowchart, make a judgement call, wonder if they're an idiot, and listen to the scanner to see if police are enroute. Hour 2: VARIETY. Hour 3: VARIETY.

Wednesday, October 6, 2004 Hour 1: Jay Santos patrols people abusing the carpool lane. He complains that their citizens patrol brigade isn't allowed to use the lane. He then brags that he uses amateur radio bands for citizens police business and has his 'liaison' (buddy) at the DPS run tags so Jay can harass hybrid carpool lane drivers on the phone. Hour 2: VARIETY. Hour 3: VARIETY.

Wednesday, September 29, 2004 Hour 1: Jay Santos is initiating a Flare Drop operation to remove American flag stickers from car bumpers. Hour 2: VARIETY. Hour 3: VARIETY.

Wednesday, September 22, 2004 Hour 1: Jay Santos is on patrol to stop 'know it alls' talking about the Presidential debates, saying such free speech might lead to workplace violence. Hour 2: VARIETY. Hour 3: First half is Lloyd Bonafide, an elderly man who attacked a motorist for throwing a lit cigarette.

Wednesday, September 15, 2004 Hour 1: Jay Santos of Citizens Auxiliary Police says sex offenders are not such bad people once you get to know them. His brother Carl, for example, is a past offender but is a great guy and has a huge train collection. Jay says you should introduce yourself and find common interests to take their mind off of sexual improprieties. Hour 2: VARIETY. Hour 3: VARIETY.

Wednesday, September 1, 2004 Hour 1: Jay Santos is on patrol to harass motorists who pick their kids up at school but live less than 5 miles away. Hour 2: VARIETY. Hour 3: VARIETY.

Wednesday, August 25, 2004 Hour 1: Jay Santos is on patrol to shut down fundraising carwashes because the scantily clad teens look like they're soliciting. Hour 2: VARIETY. Hour 3: VARIETY.

Wednesday, August 11, 2004 Hour 1: Jay Santos is on patrol to force stay-at-home-moms to sign a questionnaire about how they feel lounging around at home when other women are having to work. Hour 2: Justin McElroy is with the teen organization 'DON'T ROCK THE VOTE' which tries to tell kids voting is a waste of time. Hour 3: VARIETY.

Wednesday, August 4, 2004 Hour 1: Jay Santos is jealous about his son's inappropriate sexual relationship with his teacher. He's asking people not to talk about Mary Kay Letourneau otherwise he'll ask them to step outside and show some ID; after all, it's trivial and there's a war going on. Flashback of 2004-08-03b MGR. Hour 2: VARIETY. Hour 3: VARIETY.

Hour 1: Hour 1: Phil discusses Toronto Bluejays baseball player Carlos Delgado's statements about the Iraq War and wants to have him speak about it on the show. Hour 2: RC Collins is a military cadet who says there's no respect for people in uniform. He had tried to shove his way past to see Ashlee Simpson. Closes with flashback of 2004-07-22 (Jay Santos garage sales), Phil laughs that Jay thinks it's the "matrix of all perversion". Hour 3: Austin Amarka is a chicken farmer who abuses his flock, saying that KFC is even worse.