The Media Archive

The Media Archive

The Media Archive

The Media Archive

We’ve got over 45,000 hours of content… wander at your own risk.

Monday, May 9, 2005

Hour One:Steve Bosell attempts to check on his daughters slumber party while trying not to wake the girls up. The problem is, he's wearing a t-shirt with no under wear and straddles one of the sleeping bags, directly over some kids head, as he opens a window.....Hour Two:Robert Green of Frazier Foods claims that black people won't be crazy about the new Star Wars film with its wheezing Darth Vader, obviously mocking African-Americans who smoke menthol, and its babbling Yoda, a crass parody of Rosa Parks......Hour Three:Phil announces the shows first night in Portland.....Phil recaps getting dessert with Maria at the Beverly Hills Cheesecake Factory Saturday night.....Mystery Theater: The Case Of The Meat Grinder........Phil comments on the horror flicks "I Spit On Your Grave", "The Exterminator," and "Night of the Living Dead."......The Kenny Rogers "Let's Make A Buck On This Star Wars Mania While We Can" Special featuring everyone who was ever in a Star Wars movie, including all the midgets that played Ewoks.....Jeff Dowder comes on with directions on how to make your own R2D2.....Hal and Viola, on their way to stalling out somewhere near Laughlin, Nevada, call from their private plane to comment on Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck....

Thursday, May 5, 2005

Hour One:Vernon Dozier listened as a female student told him she and her boyfriend were experimenting sexually and that she was afraid of getting pregnant. Vernon tells Phil that "naturally I got aroused" and that she found out because "I was wearing Spandex cycling shorts" but that he wanted to help her. He advised her to try "the back door."Hour Two:Phil raps about Cinco De Mayo and the defeat of the Frogs at Puebla, Mexico. Phil then talks about crank calling KPFK. Mavis, R.C., Lloyd and Bob all call about the Runaway Bride and whether she should apologize for saying a Hispanic man kidnapped her.....Phil does his version of the show he crank called on KPFK....David G. Hall tells Phil not to go near the decapitated girl story...Phil does anyway so David has Bud play hockey game organ music every time Phil opens his mouth....Hour Three:A report from Bob Bakian on Comedy Central and Dave Chappelle....Phil talks about getting a flat last night....Harvey and Lloyd debate creationism vs. evolution with both men eventually calling each other monkeys...FDA to ban gay sperm donors....Phil asks what's the deal with donating sperm anyway...like, why?.....Tsunami Sam sings about the Runaway Bride.......Rudy calls to say the most important thing to insure a romantic night out is mouthwash and shaving your underarms....Phil talks about the curse of having a highly developed sense of smell...

Wednesday, May 4, 2005

Hour One:Larry Grover is choosing to go to Hawaii with a new "TV actress" girlfriend for a golf week rather than attend his daughters volleyball tournament.......Donna calls in to scold Larry.......but thinks she's listening to the Rusty Humphrey Show...Larry breaks into the song "Honolulu Baby"...Hour Two:Margaret Grey believes the US Army is filled with Lynndie England's, "a lurching mob of 'gloids."Hour Three:Father McQuarters calls to ask Phil if he is done getting his jollies with the Down Syndrome material...now on day three...Phil tells the tale of pulling into the McDonalds drive-thru and hitting the gas instead of the brake...thinks its time to hang it up.....Father McQuarters calls back to say that he knew a priest named Father McGovern who shuffled out of the bathroom one night with his pants around his ankles looking for toilet paper. He was so senile he shuffled right into a cocktail party....... Frodo the Puppet returns! He asks Phil why we can't find Bin Laden. Phil attempts to answer but is distracted by the fact that Frodo and Bud are exchanging glances.....

Tuesday, May 3, 2005

Hour One:Phil announces the show is returning to Houston.....King of the Hill is over..Phil did some final voice work for it today.....Phil expresses his depression over talk radio trade magazine....Jeff Dowder calls to say it "would be funny" if the Runaway Bride ran away again and this time "is raped and killed and no one believes it."....Bob Green calls and wonders if Lynndie England suffers from Downs Syndrome...Father McQuarters calls to say something else about retardation...Basically the whole final thirty minutes of this hour had to do with "pan-faces" and "gloids"......Hour Two:Doug Dannger, a gay man and a gay journalist, comes on to say that if it is discovered Paula Abdul helped one of the contestants on American Idol, the fans of that show "will come out of their cages like Bakersfield apes. There could be incidents of cannibalism..."Hour Three:Dave Oliva, wannabe LAPD is concerned.....the man who was going to marry the Runaway Bride might suddenly get angry with her and "backhand her like Rod Laver at the Australian Open..." If Dave is the cop responding to that call he is going to be torn: A man shouldn't hit a woman but, on the other hand, she did make him look "like a horse's be-hind in front of all of America."HEY PORTLAND AND HOUSTON AREA LISTENERS!!!!! DON'T FRET, PHIL IS COMING BACK TO YOUR CITY! STARTING MAY 9th PHIL WILL BE ON THE AIR AT KCMD 970 AM PORTLAND WEEKDAYS FROM 9PM TO MIDNIGHT. YOU HOUSTON CITY SLICKERS WILL BE ABLE TO START TUNING IN TO PHIL NEXT WEEK AT 100,000 WATTS, THAT'S RIGHT, FM RADIO!! STAY TUNED FOR MORE INFO....

Friday, April 29, 2005

Hour One:Clip from Coast To Coast AM where George Noory had Phil doing a Walter Cronkite impression to mess with Richard C. Hoagland's head....Phil talked about doing pre-games for the Atlanta Falcons radio broadcasts...Florida becomes another state that will ticket creeps going slow in the fast lane...Flashback: The ever-popular "All You Can Eat Negro"....Phil orders Chinese but can't understand the guy. Bud speaks Mandarin apparently so he jumps on the line....Another edition of "Scared Straight: Starbucks!!!".....Hour Two:Herb Sewell gives everyone the willies by saying he's moved into a neighborhood to "complete vital research" on a book he is writing and he hasn't registered as a sex offender because he doesn't want "over-eager house fraus coming down to my house and throwing rocks through the windows...." David G. Hall calls from his Friday night bowling league to say he doesn't want Sewell on anymore. He tells Phil to talk more about Beckham. He's "real popular over here."......Phil teaches people how to surf the net. Just enter "gay man and a gay journalist" into any search engine.....Hour ThreeChris Norton wants to insure, through the pre-nup, that guys don't have to take a polygraph if their fiancés or wives go missing....Stephanie, Mary, and Judy tell Chris that basically what he wants is the legal guarantee of not being prosecuted if a man kills his woman....Chris responds "he may go temporarily insane when he finds out she's pregnant and leave her in a swamp under a bridge. It's a quid pro quo for promising to marrying her in the first place." He's a turd

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Hour 1: Brass Villenueva is a valet at a swank West Los Angeles restuarant. He says that once you give him the keys to your car, he can, by law, use the car to "get a bucket at KFC or a sandwich....but only if it was an emergency." In the past, valets that work for him have borrowed patrons cars only to be involved in police chases or traffic stops that turn into drug busts. Naturally Phil isn't buying it but Brass says, "right there on the ticket it says we are not responsible for stolen and damaged property so I'm not resposnsible for it being stolen even though, technically, I stole it."Hour 2: Steve Bosell, a contractor from Corona, California has filed a civil suit against a group of male neighbors who were over at his home playing ping pong. During the evening, Steve mentioned that he thought Osama Bin Laden was fashioning himself after some of the villains in the James Bond movies. His neighbor Roy Hutchins piped in and said, "Oh really Steve...then did Lex Luther bomb Pearl Harbor?" Everybody laughed including his son Steve Jr.Hour 3: Herb Sewell is on to talk about a documentary he is making about the mistreatment so many father's get. And this becomes so apparent on Father's Day. Herb's three children haven't talked to him in 7 years. They stopped around the time their mother died. On a family trip driving up the Grapevine, north of Los Angeles, Herb's wife Diane started talking too much. Herb said he had a real problem with her not being quiet. The next thing Herb realized is that he was pushing her out of the car. He spent 6 years in a federal men's facility.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Hour One:Margaret with the news flash that Mancow is coming to LA....David G.Hall says "get the whore off the air...."..Phil talks about Stan and Haney on WRXK...Margaret fights her way off of hold...Herb Sewell asks for pen pals for psychiatric inmate Walter Bellhaven....Dr Jim Sadler plays a PETA tape of a KFC employee having sex with a chicken...Farmer calls to talk about the great beak he got from a Rhode Island hen....Professor Husband Ginther with Chicken Jokes Containing Sexual Innuendo....C93, Pierre, South Dakota program director Darren Browne is forced to his knees and shot execution style by Bud.....Hour Two:Ted Bell tries to impress a beautiful African-American woman at a party by telling her he flies chartered jets every time he travels.....Ted says his employee Craig Lincoln is no big thing for flying first class....African American female caller reacts angrily, saying Ted simply wants a "black sex slave..."...Ted expresses opinion white men are naturally attracted to black woman but that the idea of a white woman being attracted to a black man makes him want to pick up a baseball bat....Ted says the white wives of white men get it and usually won't interfere with their husbands affair if its with black woman....Hour Three:RC Collins of Bradley Military Academy wants to be 101st Airborne but would like the option of not jumping out of a plane into combat if it looks too hairy.....RC talks with a combat veteran who tells him he'd kick him out the door anyway. RC says "that would be murder"........RC says that coming down in a parachute makes the target for any enemy on the ground quite obvious...He's shooting up so "what do you think he's going to hit first?....Phil says taking King of the Hill off of the air is Fox "trying to wring every last penny out of that half-hour "like they have their hands on a KFC chickens throat..."...Phil tells the story of the 101st at Bastogne in WW2.....

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