Hour 1: People are going to target ranges, renting guns, and killing themselves. Bob Greene, owner of The Lead Gallery, a shooting range, is willing to rent a gun and a private room to a person who says they want to kill themselves - this is a right to bear arms issue... Hour 2: Jim Sadler on Christmas gifts that heal. Husbands should give wives items that suggest they're ugly and fat. Phil closes on politics with the old days being gone, the job market during the 1990s expansion, and now it's payback time. Hour 3: Art Griego is a pilot that tells the female passengers that they can't step outside the plane, and points out the difference between the lavatory and hatch doors. If someone falls out, he can do a safety dive to catch them on a wing. This is after the Sacramento airplane suicide. Phil closes talking about criticisms about a bit and he never remembers them well.

Hour 1: Brass Villanueva says Bush's win in the recount is a disaster for Latinos, because Texas has become a Mexican gulag after 5 years of Bush's governorship. Phil closes talking about a special webcast, rants about bad bands. Hour 2: Larry Grover blames his erectile dysfunction on the Democrats possibly taking Congress in 2002. He says Al Gore was lying about bipartisanship. Phil closes with years that end in 0, lawn darts. Hour 3: FIRST HALF. Phil on politics. He says things will get better with George Bush in office (sarcastically?), and says Republicans have never had an original idea. Decorating the Christmas tree. SECOND HALF. Talk about Christmas in Hendrie home, allowances. Phil does Fat Alcoholic Warnings reading personals.

Hour 1: Roland Schwinn is a Canadian journalist saying the American media is doing a bad job covering the recount and is blubbering like children. Phil closes talking about some people who climbed Mount Kilimanjaro. Hour 2: Ted Bell will park in handicapped spaces because they're never used, and putting his business card under the windshield wiper will help prevent getting a ticket. Phil talks about getting lost around Miami Airport and ending up in the ghetto, talks about Disney. Hour 3: Colleen Kristen Brewster offers a tour package where you can get medical euthanasia in the Netherlands after a 4-day sightseeing trip around the country. Phil talks about atheism, Catholicism.

Hour 1: Dave Oliva says MLB baseball player Alex Rodriguez is being subjected to racism because he's only getting $52 million on his contract. Phil closes talking about sports and his athletics knowledge. Hour 2: FIRST HALF. Webcast of the Tournament of Roses Parade ad. Phil talks about current events and the Supreme Court. SECOND HALF. Phil complains about the smell under his house, and the police are asking questions. Phil talks about an anti-Mafia museum in Sicily that just opened. Hour 3: STEVE BOSELL REQUEST HOUR. Steve Bosell was scared at Chuck E Cheese by a rat costume, and other bits. SECOND HALF. Phil talks to callers about Steve Bosell.

Hour 1: Margaret Gray says Madonna would like to get married standing on Princess Diana's grave, and supports the idea. Phil closes talking about the show, the upcoming Museum of Radio & Television gig. Hour 2: Lloyd Bonafide thinks the TV show M*A*S*H is a discrace. Speaking as a Korean war veteran, Lloyd saw some of the same things when he was fighting in Korea. A guy that dressed in women's clothes like Klinger had his throat slit. There was also a guy that chased women and was drinking like Hawkeye and had his throat slit too. Hour 3: Attorney Harvey Wireman and his client Chris Norton are filing a lawsuit against a woman for disfiguring Chris. The woman, "Rusty Blaze" from a strip club that does a fire breathing act, gave Chris a private showing of the act in the alley behind the building. Her act is using rum to spit fire from her mouth, but during the private showing she burnt Chris' eyebrows. Chris now can't star in a porno movie because his pubic hair also was burned.

Hour 1: Jeff Dowder on the John Lennon death anniversary, says he was brilliant and Julian's claim of him being a bad father is out of jealousy. Phil talks about people that bid on watching the show in the studio, Maria buying an overpriced sculpture, complains about Gore's claim that every vote counts. Hour 2: Larry Grover expressed relief about the Al Gore vote recount, and allowed a staff member to give him "blow sex", but he's not gay. Phil closes talking about Florida districts, remembers Florida, says Gore ruined his 2004 chances. Hour 3: FIRST HALF. Phil depicts the vote recount fiasco using Beatles music. Talks about a Neil Young night on a public radio station. SECOND HALF. Phil says the kids at school are amazed at the recount issue, talks about what causes a society to do barbaric things.

Hour 1: Ted Bell's restaurant has a tacky, $150K manger display. Baby Jesus rises out of the crib every 5 minutes and the Star of Bethelehem is a laser spotlight, and defies the governor's power conservation requests. Phil closes talking about Hannukah and talks about joking with a Jew friend about non-Kosher foods. Hour 2: Austin Amarka is a Texan having an all-night all-day party celebrating Texas's world record for executions. Callers say his support for the death penalty is abominable. Phil closes talking about regional talk shows, whether brilliant children should graduate early. Hour 3: FIRST HALF. Phil on the Oscars, doesn't like Whoopi Goldberg films because of the "negro making white people feel good" theme. SECOND HALF. Barbecuing. Mavis Leonard's Interesting Tidbits.

Hour 1: FIRST HALF. Phil talks about a guy turning himself in at a sheriff's station with a severed head, and talks about his family playing a game where they have to answer their favorites. SECOND HALF. Phil says his show does nothing but give, talks about going back in time and that modern day society is the best, the monorail in Las Vegas, predicting the future. Hour 2: FIRST HALF. Phil talks about a cop shooting an actor with a toy gun. Dave Oliva comments on the shooting. SECOND HALF. Phil promotes MFP, Dave Oliva talks some more about the shooting. Phil talks about plastic guns and the police comments. Hour 3: Margaret Gray says Heather French Henry's has a ten-month pregnancy, and speculates she had sex before her Miss America reign, and that the pageant is so sacrosanct that participants need to take RU-486. Phil talks about a smell outside his house and trying to pay for people to work on it.

Hour 1: David G Hall wants Phil to play Santa at the office Christmas party because he is overweight. Phil closes talking about a visit to a Danish bakery and buying an eclair. Hour 2: Vernon Dozier is a driving instructor with road rage advice, in light of the OJ Simpson traffic altercation. He has choice words for tailgaters, and says to slow down if someone's flashing their brights. Phil closes late talking about a CD signing coming up. Hour 3: Steve Bosell went to a Bon Jovi concert, and his pleather pants cracked at the butt and he wasn't wearing underwear. He plans to sue the clothing manufacturer, the concert venue, and Bon Jovi. Phil closes with Fat Warnings (How You Can Tell), flashback of BVI.

Hour 1: RERUN of 2000-10-11 hour one. School strip searches. Hour 2: RERUN of 2000-10-02 hour two. Male birth control. Hour 3: RERUN of 2000-11-01 hour three. Kids with RAZR scooters.