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Friday, December 17, 2004

Friday, December 17, 2004 Hour 1: Biff Heaven Experience. How Deep Is Your Love, She Drives Me Crazy, Urgent, Pina Colada, Second That Emotion, More Than A Woman, Only The Lonely, Light Up, Canoza. guests on reparations. Hour 2: Clara Bingham says black doctors usually overbill white patients to help claim slave reparations. Hour 3: Gene Klein gives a demonstration of his professional ass-kissing kills on Phil's boss David G Hall. Kenny Rogers Christmas special. Phil e-mail, car covers.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Tuesday, December 21, 2004 Hour 1: Robert Green is the descendant of plantation owners. He is suing the federal government and 39 black members of congress over reparations, saying when the country freed the slaves, his family lost everything! Hour 2: Phil tells the story about his clash with Brian Cox of the Miami Dolphins while Phil worked for WIOD in Miami. Phil would do a bit called The Brian Cox Show, based on Brian Cox’s often vulgar and inappropriate on field behavior. This bit led to Cox filing a $15 million lawsuit for slander and misappropriation of likeness on air. Ever since, Phil has held a grudge against Brian Cox, up until running into him the previous Saturday night. By request flashback of Art Griego arguing that Thanksgiving should be a white holiday. He disputes that since blacks were brought to this country against their will, what do they have to be thankful for? Hour 3: It’s the Combover Boy Show! Today, Comb questions why you have to drug senior citizens in order to get some “Christmas nookie” from them. Phil talks about his marriage. Jeff Dowder joins the program for “Wouldn’t it be funny if.” Colonial Buck Negro hosts a segment to talk about the issues of the day, and he will not be swayed! Phil rants about Glenn Beck lifting his show, and Martha Stewart’s activity while in prison. Harvey Wireman joins Phil to talk about Robert Stroud, the Birdman of Alcatraz. Harvey, however, does not have his glasses, has a cheese log stuck in his throat, and in general is so senile that he cannot postulate a sound argument. The Chef Carl Chadillia Show gets a segment. Callers are irate as Carl uses a pickle to represent the Baby Jesus. Show log by Kyle Davis.

Friday, January 14, 2005

Friday, January 14, 2005 Hour 1: FIRST HALF - Chris has a sexy dance move he wants to show Brad Pitt; it uses "Eye Of The Tiger". SECOND HALF - Playing With Dad's Guns with Brian Worsham. Last segment is Art Bell with Gen Johnson Jameson holding a Princess Diana seance. He says ghosts have their own radio frequency. He only picks up Captain Kangaroo, the Little Rascals, the Jetsons, and other TV shows, and never makes contact. Hour 2: Bobbie Dooley's kids are wearing Afro "fright wigs" and eating bananas at school to celebrate MLK Day. Bobbie says her son said he wants to looks more like a black and be closer to Dr. King, and Bobbie says her boy doesn't lie. Hour 3: Pastor Rennick says whites should work on MLK Day. Phil closes with flashback of Raj Fahneen.

Friday, January 21, 2005

Friday, January 21, 2005 Hour 1: Herb Sewell, author of the book ‘The Bush Legacy’, calls in to discuss President Bush. Herb describes the President as more of a jokester and sophomoric man, anything but the devout Christian that he portrays himself to be. Herb sites examples of Bush throwing fake dog poo on the floor of the war room, telling dead baby jokes, and laughing uncontrollably. Phil plays a flashback request of David G. Hall making a commentary on binge drinking. Hour 2: Lloyd Bonifide joins the program to complain about a woman who cut him off in traffic. Lloyd responded by throwing a Coke bottle at the woman and flipping her the bone. He says there is nothing she will do about it because she is a woman, and rejects the idea that his behavior is road rage. Phil talks about the type of woman who enjoys his show. Bud has his black friend join the broadcast. Hour 3: “My Grandpa Says” with Logan kicks off the third hour. Lancen Odell, Bud’s black friend and NFL player, comes back into the studio. He talks with Phil and Bud, and starts playing with Phil’s button bar. The Phil Hendrie Show Presents Scared Straight: McDonald’s Edition. Bob Bakian reports on the resignation of Michael Powell. David G. Hall berates Bakain over repeating material, and then orders him to fly until the chopper runs out of fuel and crashes. A listener letter inspires Phil to do Tequila Talk. Show log by Kyle Davis.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Wednesday, January 26, 2005 Hour 1: Show starts with Rick Monday announcing Dodger Baseball, and Rick goes on a shooting rampage. Charlie the Complainer calls… again. Hal and Viola check in to reassure Phil that he’s doing a good job, and offer to fly him to Tucson. Phil welcomes William Rueflow from the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences to discuss the Oscar nominations. Phil is curious why the Passion of the Christ was snubbed for a nomination. William acknowledges the excellence of such films as Dodgeball, Catwoman, and Shrek 2. Phil and Bud argue about Bud’s Babe of the Week. Phil rants about jail. Hour 2: Raj Fahneen is the guest on the second hour to talk about immigration awareness and the citizenship process in America. Raj claims that natural born American citizens could not answer the questions on the test, and argues that the test should be about things Americans know – fast food! Phil plays a flashback request of the car wash turned into a tsunami thrill ride. Raj concludes the hour with a rendition of “Saw an American.” Hour 3: Tony Neal comes on the program to discuss his latest venture: producing pornographic internet sites. The catch, the sites all have common key words that are searched by children. David G. Hall calls to yell at Phil for his Racist Little Rascals bit, and that he did not talk about Tony Neal’s book Every Day Sucker. Phil comments on his bumper music and reads some email. Show log by Kyle Davis.

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Thursday, January 27, 2005 Hour 1: Margaret Gray is on to discuss her book about the human shield in Iraq. She believes she could be in line for a Pulitzer Prize for her work, but first she must confirm the identity of the soldier who said, “After I killed my tenth child, I stopped counting.” Phil plays a flashback of the Siamese twins, where one is gay and the other is straight. Charlie the Complainer has to check in over the content of tonight’s program; he ends his call with a belch. Phil brings back Margaret after an abrupt end to her conversation; she sings “Where have all the Flowers gone?” and Phil orders an air strike. The hour ends with Jesus Christ Cab Driver. Hour 2: Jeff Dowder joins the program to promote a benefit concert that his band Dark Horse is playing, followed by a drumming clinic led by him. Phil does a strange bit about coming to Carnival in Brazil, and the voice over guy makes unacceptable ad-libs. Phil talks about Amazon women. Jim Sadler calls in to explain that he AIDS epidemic was caused by Tarzan and spread through the other characters. Hour 3: Phil starts the third hour with a rant about his drive into work. Harvey Wireman Senior Talk asks the question what do you do when you realize you’ve been driving a body under your car. Phil previews tomorrow night’s all request night, then talks about the Nazis and explains how they compare with the Iraqis. Show log by Kyle Davis.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Hour One:Phil started out with the "Art Donovan Commentaries, brought to you by Parker-Boles." This guy Donovan starts screaming about "the negro entertainer Chris Rock" dumping on the Academy Awards. Then Phil pulls the Backstage Pass of some pain-in-the-rear portion listener. Phil mentions 'Boy drives a Lexus and then starts talking about why he (Phil) bought a Jag and not a hybrid. Greg Grooms Gardening Tips comes on but Greg is arrested during the program and the police search his garden. They find the six month old remains of his wife, Sarah and Greg is taken away by police leaving Phil to finish his segment. Ted Bell comes on briefly to tell Phil his comments about the town of Aspen will not be recieved well by the Hollywood community. The Hal and Viola stall out their Piper Cub before they can get Phil's advice on some unacceptable thing their spoiled grandson did.Hour Two:David G. Hall comes on to get the listeners input on something he is concerned about: the fact that Phil put up the picture of a little person, listener Jenifer, on his Wall of Female Listeners. He likens it to Melissa Etheridge going out on stage bald to "make fun of our fears of radiological bombs." Then David sings "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" because that song reflects a time when dwarves could "stand tall." Then we have a listener request of a Justin McElroy flashback and that's who we have coming up in the last hour.Hour Three:Here's Justin! On to talk about what could be an epidemic of older women coming on to younger men because of the Mary Kay Letourneau case. He wants them sedated. He has also started Zookeepers Anonymous, a group of young men trying to break their habit of sleeping with older women and The Beast Patrol, a 24 hour hotline to call and get help being protected from older women. Father James McQuarters comes on to update us on Michael Jackson. Its basically this: Michael Jackson is puking his guts up and Corey Feldman is a rat bastard. Phil then reads e-mail and David calls back to say if McQuarters gets to have Irish harp music played while he is on, David wants Doris Day music played while he's on.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Hour One,The show kicked off with special guest Raj Feneen representing the organization "Take Me Out To The Ballgame," a group that feels it hypocritical of baseball fans to criticize Barry Bonds for steroids when they are sucking on corn dogs.Hour Two:The James Rome Show features a Jim Rome talking likea proper Englishman and saying things like "bang the monkey" as if he were Ian McKellan. Raj comes back on to sing his usual song making fun of Americans that eat too much fast food. The Love Songs With Bob features a bit of a twist. Bob says he'll play their dedication but then winds up playing some Ozzie instead. He also invites chicks to come down to the station and then slaps them around while he's on the air. Herb Sewell then comes on and talks about running in the LA marathon to not only raise money for charity but also for his wife's breast job. We then pla a listener flashback and head into the Paul Cotton Male Advice Show, an effiminate guy who gives advice to dudes who have castrated themselves or been their wive's nurder targets.Hour Three"I Totally Dare You" with Art Nevin has a contestant attempt, on his friends dare, to drive a motorcycle through a grocery store on Thanksgiving Eve. The Phil reads the news about Paris Hilton's PDA getting hacked and wonders whats next, maybe full color shots of Paris sitting on the toilet. Pastor William Rennick comes on to talk about Chris Rock pissing God off with his Academy Award comments. The David Hall comes on to tell Phil to quit talking about Goth bands and we end the night with Jeff Dowder apologizing for teaching guys how to streak athletic events including making their 'nads look bigger on the Jumbotron.

Monday, February 28, 2005

Hour One:The show opened with the actual 9-11 call from the Kodak Theater that alerted paramedics to the fact that Sean Penn had a pole parked up his b-u-t-t-o-c-k-s. David G. Hall then asked Phil why he would tell the LA audience his schedule should the game be pre-empted for the Lakers when his LA audience couldn't hear him...because the Lakers are playing. Then we played a listener flashback request for the Bob Green bit where he wouldn't sell corn on the cob to people with "jacked up" teeth because it was sickening to look at the corn wedged in their teeth. Phil read some e-mail and then came Bud's Radical NASCAR Accidents from Sunday's Auto Club 500 in Fontana, Ca where, Bud claims, a leg was on the track, some guy got pinned and burned up and then Godzilla came out of the infield and the crowd fled the grandstands. Pastor William Rennick came on and talked about how he thinks Chris Rock was set up to fail as host of the Academy Awards by "those same people that wouldn't nominate the Passion of the Jesus....and you know who I'm talking about, Phil."Hour Two:Jay Santos of the Citizens Auxiliary Police came on to talk about how tough it is to enforce the drug laws pertaining to methamphetamine since the only people that use it "are white people...and there's a little hitch" of sadness in his step, says Jay, when he has to approach a white motorist. Jay then grabs a handful of hair and pulls the motorists head back to shine a flashlight up their nose to see if there's any "sprinkling of meth around the nostril portions."Hour Three:Raj has a theory that natural born Americans couldn’t pass their own countries citizenship test…but they are very knowledgeable when it comes to fast food.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Hour One:RC Collins comes on to say that as a young cadet at a military Academy, he has the right to partake in one of the military's greatest traditions: Going to the Donkey Show in Tijuana. It's something the Marines at Pendleton and the Navy seamen in San Diego have been doing for years so why can't he.Hour Two:Love Songs with Bob features love song dedications from NAMBLA members to their.....well anyway, Bob keeps playing the song "I Believe In Miracles" by Hot Chocolate. Whatever. Then Pastor William Rennick and his wife Miss Clara call in as the tune "I Believe In Miracles" is playing and the good Pastor does the Running Man, Cabbage Patch, Watusi, Mashed Potatoes and the Sprinkler as Clara does commentary. Rudy Canosa, owner of J'tiem Lingerie has a problem. Rudy, of the Argentinean love call "La-La-La," tells Phil a Muslim woman came into his shop and he was only having fun when he said to her, "Do you believe in Al-La-La-Lah?" Margaret Grey says that Robert Blake being found not guilty of killing his wife will only encourage guys like David Arquette ("a real screwball") and Brad Pitt to kill theirs. James Lipton of the Actors Studio interviews Leatherface. And then Leatherface chainsaws Lipton and takes over as host of the show. His first guest is Mickey Rourke. And he chainsaws Mickey Rourke. And then David G. Hall calls, interrupts the bit, and screams at Phil for milking it and not having any punch line. Phil says he does and all he ends up doing is having Leatherface chainsaw someone else. David is right.Hour Three:Jay Santos of the Citizens Auxiliary Police believes Easter only scares kids who aren't raised in Christian homes because its all about "some guy coming back from a dirt nap." He will be monitoring conversations in restaurants and if he hears "any of this Jesus zombie talk" he'll ask people to stop. It turns out jay is an atheist and his agenda is fairly obvious. Not that the callers get it.

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