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We kicked off with Teacher of the Year nominee Vernon Dozier who says to parents "think like a teacher, not like a parent..in other words think more like me." Vernon used as an example of his progressive teaching methods, his singling out two female students....and comparing their chest sizes! It's all a part of hour one. In hour two, Phil does an Obama rant. Basically it had to do with Obama "not being as dumb as he looks." In the last hour, Larry Grover talks about Tiger Woods' youth and how we didn't protect him. Sure he's 35 but thats his physical age. "He's way younger mentally and he needs a pony ride and candy."
Tonight, Professor Don Miksa of the University of Washington is a "progressive" totally committed to bringing gay people into the military. But in order to do that and not suffer a back-lash from "rurals" like the Family Research Council, he says we need to make sure we keep the "flamboyance" down and the so-called "Paris Shuffle" has to be eliminated, a manner of walking that resembles a model on a fashion runway. "The nocturnal gay is dangerous, feeding at night and turning these guys out." Herb Sewell joined us for a brief chat. The new, socalled Busty Barbie, Herb says, might have kept him out of a psychiatric hospital. had he a Barbie doll to deface like Phil did and other men when they were boys. His first look at a breast might have been a look at Barbie's "pair" instead of his mothers....when he was 14. Finally, Vernon Dozier applauds recent statements by the San Antonio police chief saying law enforcement needs more, not fewer, tasers. Vernon loves the sound of people being tased almost to the point of climax
Margeret Grey weighed in on the Mel Gibson disaster. She talked about Phil comparing himself to Gibson and Phil comparing, really, all men to Gibson. Margaret said it wasn't accurate for Phil to say he's been that angry or that other men have been that angry as Phil and other men have never dated super models or paid for multiple houses. If Phil or other men had the same problems Mel Gibson has, they would take that baby Ms. Grigorieva was holding and as in track and field fling it like a hammar. Later Vernon Dozier reported to Phil that the Little League team he is coaching this summer went down to defeat in the playoffs for the Little League World Series. He told Phil that the kids had been under so much pressure he went ahead and had one of the fathers go on a beer run for a case. The kids split it. While Vernon knows that what he did was technically wrong, some of these kids, he says, have mothers that are "real hard on the eyes."
Robert Green of Frazier Foods and The Single Fathers Legal Fund is on to discuss the story of a child found playing with a used condom in a hotel room. It just so happens that years ago, as a newly single man, Mr. Green was living in a tiny apartment without any cleaning service because his ex-wife was "soaking" him for all his extra money. When his kids came to visit one weekend, his 8 year old daughter found a condom Bob had thought he'd tossed in the trash the night before, and was trying to put it on as a swimming cap. Bob blamed his wife for taking his extra money thus leaving his place without a maids service and condom wrappers lying everywhere. Plus, he had a basketball backboard set up over the garbage can and thought he'd made a bank shot. The following hour it's Vernon Dozier who assures Phil that Americans are so incensed with the Ground Zero mosque and the arrogance of the people putting it there that we are ready to toss the first amendment and live without freedom of religion. Better that than all the strife and mayhem. "There's one thing thing those beatniks in Moscow got right. That "no religion" thing. If some beatnik bums can do it, we can do it!" says Vernon.
Tonight visiting us were West Virginia State Senators Curty Queedy and Guy Barton. As Democrats, they do not favor extending the Bush tax cuts. But, as Democrats, they dare not say that ahead of an election as they are sure to be voted out if they do. And if they are voted out? Well that means Curt's 20 Years In The State House Celebration slated for this May would stink it out and Guy returning to his moving van business would spell disaster for a brother and sister-in-law that took it over and turned it around. Better to re-elect them first and then they'll get around to talking about these tax cuts. Up next was Vernon Dozier who believes in the death penalty but not for women. He holds women high, as if they are spiritual beings. And he does so even though his mother kissed him on the lips as a 9 year old in full view of his friends and teachers. It wasn't so bad when he told them all he was the womans young lover but when his mother identifuied herself to everyone, Vernon cracked. Even so, he over came the experience and went on to support women whole-heartedly in their efforst at equality. He told his students the story of his mother kissing his lips and one of them returned the next day with a gift for "any offspring you and your mother may have had. It's a telescope since the kid is odds-on a cyclops." And he overcame that insult as well.......
Vernon Dozier had his football players in San Francisco when he heard about the kid who jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge...and survived. Vernon knew none of his players "had the guts" to do the same thing although he says he does. Rob Barnes was with us from Madison, Wisconsin talking about the heartbreak, the depression and the anger he felt after the public unions lost the collective bargaining fight. He was so angry in fact that when a small dog, wearing a sweater, ran up to him and started barking, he "kicked it across the street."
Our show kicked off with David G. Hall, initially on to talk about the economy as the Vice-President of Syndication for the Phil Hendrie Show. Instead, David took exception to opinions expressed by Phil pre-show that a picture of an American flag by a child in Massachusetts should have been taken down by the teacher because the child was disobeying. David asked the audience to join him in the opinion that it was pure anti-Americanism by the teacher. Vernon Dozier, high school teacher, told Phil he is renouncing pornography since it was discovered Bin Laden had a stash and said all Americans should. Vernon claimed to have told his students that he was giving up his B&D movies and he told them he can tell just by looking at them which of their parents are into porn. First, any couple where the woman is taller than the man. Also any single parent. And couples where the father is Asian and the mother Anglo. "They're up to their ears in filth."
First hour tonight was Vernon Dozier and Justin McElroy talking about how Justin's desire to be on American Idol may necessitate him taking a boyfriend and using a skin moisturizer. Vernon for his part says he can "readjust these kids." Second hour Bob Green was on attempting to explain that no matter how hot your daughter is don't succumb to the temptation. Bob didn't. Every day told himself, "I better not, I better not, I better not..." Hour wasn't bad until crap audio once again send Phil around the bend.
Tonight it was Doug Dannger, a gay man and a gay journalist, advocating "gay bunkers" in the event of social collapse and chaos. In these, gay men and lesbians would live to insure their survival. What about progeny (children)? Doug said that the gay men would have to "explain to the lesbians where their duty lie." Vernon Dozier, while leading a summer school class in stretching exercises, saw one of his testicles fall out of his "short." (Since they are a "pair of shorts" then one leg of them would be a "short") One of the giorls in class saw this and told her parents. Now Vernon is forced to correct the situation. One solution was a series of alarms: a dive alarm, a gong and a horn playing wa-wa-wa.
Art Griego explained the rules of being a captain on a ship (or aircraft as Art once was) in distress or in danger. You should stay and see that everyone is safely off but sometimes you only have enough time to say "I'd get out fast if I were you while the gettin' is good." In fact that's exactly what Art said to his passengers one day while landing his charter service with the smell of fuel pungent and an explosion imminent. Then he bolted from the plne and ran 'like the wind. Vernon Dozier is no longer supporting Newt Gingrich. When he found out that Newt wanted an open marriage with one of his previous wives he figures it was Newt saying to male supporters "I'm having sex with any woman I want...even your wives and you guys need to sit back and take it." No thanks, said Vernon.
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