Doug Dannger weighed in on the demise of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." The self-described "gay man and gay journalist" said there's gonna be a lot of gay soldiers looking to "make someone pay" on the battlefield for all the discrimination they've dealt with.... "I gotta be better than that 'gender, Bono" says Steve Bosell Steve Bosell has been trying to learn to dance to impress his wife and daughter after they asked him if he could dance as well as Chaz Bono. Steve felt humiliated when they said "a 'gender danced better than me." Steve was playing a recording of "The Hustle" and getting winded going through the steps. That's when Margaret Grey called and started singing the song ("'The Hustle' has words Phil") but then her voice "got stuck" an octave higher than normal...

Tonight it was Doug Dannger, a gay man and a gay journalist, advocating "gay bunkers" in the event of social collapse and chaos. In these, gay men and lesbians would live to insure their survival. What about progeny (children)? Doug said that the gay men would have to "explain to the lesbians where their duty lie."                         Doug Dannger's bunker design Vernon Dozier, while leading a summer school class in stretching exercises, saw one of his testicles fall out of his "short." (Since they are a "pair of shorts" then one leg of them would be a "short") One of the giorls in class saw this and told her parents. Now Vernon is forced to correct the situation. One solution was a series of alarms: a dive alarm, a gong and a horn playing wa-wa-wa.

Tonight Doug Dannger proposed that, now that he has passed on, Peter Falk become a new and powerful symbol of the gay fight for equal rights. Sure Mr. Falk was straight and married. It wouldn't matter. "We would repurpose his life to be that of an out queer with a lover left destitute because there's no community property." Doug also thought Clarence Clemmons would make a good symbol of Gay Pride as well.                               Gay Pride Next up was Chris Norton with a new website called M&M ILF's...Murdering Mom's I'd Like To F*#k. Chris obviously would kick the site off with Casey Anthony.  But he also reserved a spot for Lizzy Borden. "Lizzy Borden took an ass' and gave her father forty wass'. Thas' was the rhyme. She basically buried an ass' in her dad's face," said the allergy stricken Chris.

Featuring Doug Dannger and Bob Green....

Robert Green of Frazier Foods hit a disabled child wearing a Superman costume one day while driving a brand new Humvee and rolling through a red light. The child "trying to lift off like Superman ran into my truck. Naturally, I took off but then a quarter of a mile later turned around and came back." Bob is suing the family saying putting a Superman a cape on a child with autism is "like strapping lead boots on him and saying 'go swim the English channel.'" Straight guy before the civil war with gays and one year after Doug Dannger, gay man and gay journalist, told Phil and his audience he is opposed to gay marriage because "gays will be so good at it that it will piss off straight people and a civil war between gays and straights will break out." Doug says that as straights lose the war "they'll retreat further and further up the canyon to the reserve meth lab with fewer and fewer teeth."