Search
Close this search box.

SHOWING SEARCH RESULTS FOR

Search Results for: Chris Norton – Page 35

It’s Elcott……the Next Step!… Dr. Ed Elcott brings on special guests Beans Halberstam and Bobbie and Steve Dooley. The Overlords are not happy.

It’s Elcott……the Next Step!… Dr. Ed Elcott brings on special guests Beans Halberstam and Bobbie and Steve Dooley. The Overlords are not happy.

It’s Elcott……the Next Step!… Dr. Ed Elcott brings on special guests Beans Halberstam and Bobbie and Steve Dooley. The Overlords are not happy.

It’s Elcott……the Next Step!… Dr. Ed Elcott brings on special guests Beans Halberstam and Bobbie and Steve Dooley. The Overlords are not happy.

It’s Elcott……the Next Step!… Dr. Ed Elcott brings on special guests Beans Halberstam and Bobbie and Steve Dooley. The Overlords are not happy.

It’s Elcott……the Next Step!… Dr. Ed Elcott brings on special guests Beans Halberstam and Bobbie and Steve Dooley. The Overlords are not happy.

It’s Elcott……the Next Step!… Dr. Ed Elcott brings on special guests Beans Halberstam and Bobbie and Steve Dooley. The Overlords are not happy.

It’s Elcott……the Next Step!… Dr. Ed Elcott brings on special guests Beans Halberstam and Bobbie and Steve Dooley. The Overlords are not happy.

It’s Elcott……the Next Step!… Dr. Ed Elcott brings on special guests Beans Halberstam and Bobbie and Steve Dooley. The Overlords are not happy.

It’s Elcott……the Next Step!… Dr. Ed Elcott brings on special guests Beans Halberstam and Bobbie and Steve Dooley. The Overlords are not happy.

Hour 1:Chris Norton's new company, Germaine Hair Care and Salon Products for Women is a bold new venture. He and Lance Germaine base their sales technique on Chris's innate "sess-uality" and his direct and honest approach. "Hi my name is Chris and I wanted to tell you that your face isn't really cutting it."Hour 2:Clara Bingham of Joyful Union Congregation Middle School chucks a kids cell phone out into the street when she finds out he's talking to his dad in Iraq.........Hour 3:Steve Bosell, the Corona construction contractor started taking magic lessons mail-order so he could work kids birthday parties on weekends. So he goes to these kid's parties as "Magic Steve" and does his thing but the kids tell him he sucks and would rather play in the bounce house. Steve decides to sue the mother and father that hosted one of these parties because since kids are minors "they don't have the constitutional right to free speech." And the kids exercising their free speech by walking out on his boring magic show is therefore illegal.
Hour One:Bill Duncy, a private pilot tells Phil and the listeners that the airspace over the White House should be left open to celebrities who fly private planes since "they've given us so much." They should simply have their agents send the FAA headshots and resumes so the control tower dudes know who they are.Hour Two:Chris Norton's new company, Germaine Hair Care and Salon Products for Women is a bold new venture. He and Lance Germaine base their sales technique on Chris's innate "sess-uality" and his direct and honest approach. "Hi my name is Chris and I wanted to tell you that your face isn't really cutting it."Hour Three:Phil lets everyone know he isn't retiring. He was joking about it since he thought he was going senile steeping on the gas when he thought it was the brake......... RC Collins calls and, along with Rudy, tries out his "la-la-la" technique........ Earl Pants Car Talk has Earl losing his toupee while he is driving a convertible which winds up blowing onto a cops head........ David G. Hall announces that from now on his entrance onto the show will be preceded by the Star Wars "Imperial March" music and he is to addressed as "Lord" Hall..........Phil talks about giving his youngest son a driving lesson........Phil thinks back on taking Maria out for their first date in his five-speed truck and the valet at Santa Anita not knowing how to drive it....
Hour One:Clip from Coast To Coast AM where George Noory had Phil doing a Walter Cronkite impression to mess with Richard C. Hoagland's head....Phil talked about doing pre-games for the Atlanta Falcons radio broadcasts...Florida becomes another state that will ticket creeps going slow in the fast lane...Flashback: The ever-popular "All You Can Eat Negro"....Phil orders Chinese but can't understand the guy. Bud speaks Mandarin apparently so he jumps on the line....Another edition of "Scared Straight: Starbucks!!!".....Hour Two:Herb Sewell gives everyone the willies by saying he's moved into a neighborhood to "complete vital research" on a book he is writing and he hasn't registered as a sex offender because he doesn't want "over-eager house fraus coming down to my house and throwing rocks through the windows...." David G. Hall calls from his Friday night bowling league to say he doesn't want Sewell on anymore. He tells Phil to talk more about Beckham. He's "real popular over here."......Phil teaches people how to surf the net. Just enter "gay man and a gay journalist" into any search engine.....Hour ThreeChris Norton wants to insure, through the pre-nup, that guys don't have to take a polygraph if their fiancés or wives go missing....Stephanie, Mary, and Judy tell Chris that basically what he wants is the legal guarantee of not being prosecuted if a man kills his woman....Chris responds "he may go temporarily insane when he finds out she's pregnant and leave her in a swamp under a bridge. It's a quid pro quo for promising to marrying her in the first place." He's a turd
Hour 1: Vernon Dozier is on to promote his book, The Wages of Sin: Surviving Road Rage. Vernon says through Jesus and therapy he is cured of road rage......except when he sees women using hands-free cell phones, flossing their teeth or putting on make-up while driving. He feels emasculated.Hour 2: Dave Oliva is a waiter at the Grand Junction Steak House in Westwood. he is also studying to be a LAPD officer. He uses "law enforcement procedure" at the restaurant by telling people to stack their dishes nicely before he brings the check. If they don't, he follows them to door and says "hey man, nice job stacking those dishes." At one point, he says people are such pigs that a family left something in a napkin and he "wasn't sure what it was."Hour 3: Chris Norton, a pharmaceutical rep, is organizing a free speech at work movement. He was honest with a co-worker when she brought her baby to work to show everyone. He said the kids face looked "pinched in." This co-worker decided to have her desk moved to another part of the building. Chris thinks its restricting his right to free speech that she would punish him for saying what he said about her kid by moving her desk. After all, he's attracted to her and wants to buy her "drinks."
Hour One:Justin McElroy, high school junior, came on the show to explain the the kid in Minnesota who shot up his school was exhibiting some kind of Native American rage. According to Justin, it never would have happened had the white man not done the "Injun" wrong.Hour Two:Chris Norton introduces his new service "Dream Date." If you are a high school girl who ordinarily doesn't get invited to proms, he'll be your date complete with limo, dinner and, as you exit the limo for the prom, smoke "like you're walking out of hell." Chris prices on a sliding scale. The more "challenging" the date, the more expensive. How much to date Terri Schiavo? According to Chris, "four figures."Hour Three:Jeff Dowder calls in to say that Mad Hatters disease is so named because the old time haberdashers used to breath "formaldehyde" fumes while bending and shaping the hats they made and it drove them nuts. He says he knows because his friend Toby Beau told him and Toby's grandfather used to make "bowler hats for Dion O'Bannion in Chicago." Phil then talks about meeting and talking football with the former Dallas Cowboy all-pro James Washington. The Jim Rome Show features Romey choking on a piece of gum and Travis performing the Heimlich. Then Charlie calls to say he hates the Jim Rome bit that Phil just did and Bud chimes in his agreement and then David G. Hall calls to say he thought it sucked too. Logan Benson, the little five year old, calls in to say his Grandpa believes that if Michael Jackson had dealt with "those brats the same way John Wayne Gacy did" he wouldn't have the problems he has today. Phil segues from that tasteless piece of material into a discussion of his wife's basketball prowess. The show ends with the Kenny Rogers "Please Help Me Pay Off My Debt Before The Mafia Kills Me" Special.
Hour One:Cowboy Jim opens up with special guest Phil Hendrie who tells the kids he blew off a meeting with Comedy Central because they're thieves. The Ted Bell comes on to tell Phil he's blowing it not showing up for meetings with heavy cable networks. Phil waxes eloquent about how he and Maria celebrated their 8th wedding anniversary. We played a listener flashback and then Lorne Greene came on to warn spring breakers about the dangers of sharing needles. Bud Dickman read off his weekly list of NASCAR's most radical accidents. Then Danny Akoli came on with the Hawaiian Stock Exchange Report. David calls and has Phil throw Danny off the air because he finds out Akoli is Hawaiian for a-s-s. Chris Norton calls at the end of the hour to say he can dance so sexually Terry Schiavo would sit up in bed.Hour Two:Vernon Dozier's wife has been in a coma for the last 2 years. He wants to honor her families wishes by keeping the feeding tube in her but the bills are piling up and he has recently started dating a 30 something flight attendant/tennis player who is "high maintenance." He says that unfortunately he may be forced to remove his wife's feeding tube if he doesn't get a piece of his father-in-laws lucrative building supply business.Hour Three:Herb Sewells Michael Jackson Report starts the hour. Tonight Herb regales us with the story of child-molester Blanchard Hoyle who, while incarcerated with Herb at Atascadero, actually looked forward to his electro-shock treatments by skipping into the room and flopping on the gurney like it was a chaise lounge. Phil then plugs the website and mentions a picture of himself on the site that dates to the days when Phil would do the Rose Parade with Margaret and Harvey. Jeff Dowder comes on with another installment of "What Would Jesus Do?" Today's episode: What would Jesus do if the paper boy kept throwing Jesus' paper on a wet lawn instead of the driveway? Then Phil mentions how Pat O'Brien can go to alcohol rehab and still do his "Insider" show. Just tape his segments from the day room of the dry-out clinic just before they strap Pat down for his afternoon thorazine treatment.
Hour One:David G. Hall and Dr. Jim Sadler come on the show to discuss the difference between a woman being sexually harassed by a husbands boss and when the said boss is simply groping innocently. The innocent grope, according to Dr. Sadler, may do a man's career a world of good if he can just sit back and watch it happening in a relaxed mood as if he is "looking at a sunset."Hour Two:Father James McQuarters talks about the current Lent season and how its tough "eating, sleeping and crapping a particular sermon for weeks" and then delivering it on a Sunday when there are mentally disabled people in the congregation and hearing them make loud mooing and squealing sounds. He proposes gagging them with a rag or tape.Hour Three:Darren Flew on Pet Talk interviews a cat named Ruffles that is currently living in a "cat rescue shelter." Ruffles says he was much happier out in the alley nailing every female in heat. He says the day some old lady comes into the shelter to "rescue" him and take him home, he'll go for her face. Phil then mentions how sad it is the know Heineken is going to make a "low-carb" beer. We then play a listener flashback featuring Chris Norton and how you can't really prosecute a teacher for having sex with her student....if she's hot. Then, it's the Comb-Over Boy Show. 'Boy is talking about how embarrassing it was being on the same panel as Phil at the R&R convention last Thursday and having Phil wipe the floor with him. Pederast-turned-News Commentator Herb Sewell comes on with his Michael Jackson Report and then its Buds Most Radical NASCAR Accidents, recapping the UAW-Daimler/Chrysler 400 in 'Vegas.
Hour One:Phil hot the air last night as "Brian Grant" of the LA Lakers and took calls from Lakers fans who wouldn't know Brian Grant from Lou Grant. For a solid hour "Brian" kept talking about Vlade Divac coming into the locker room eating a fistful of goat cheese like an apple and how Kobe is moving to his own dressing cubicle so talking to him will be like talking to a guy in a different toilet stall. Phil then went on to bust the act and explain it was him when some gang-banger from East LA started talking crap to "Brian" in order to show how dumb the guy was. After that, it was on as the whole dumb gang world started calling with threats...then magically stopped when Phil slowly explained the show....again. Oh My God.Hour Two:Phil brought on Bobbi Dooley to explain to new listeners who she was. Then Bud interrupted to tell Phil there was a guy outside who wanted to buy airtime on Phil's show named Dick Little. When Phil asked Bud what the guy was selling, Bud said Viagra. David Hall came on and both he and Bud didn't get the connection. All David knew is it was money for the show. Hal and Viola called from their plane to tell Phil they were going to Laughlin again and ask if he wanted them to put some money on a number at the Roulette wheel. Phil kept saying 16 Red but Viola couldn't hear him over the plane engine. When she finally was able to get Hal to "turn the plane down" and hear Phil, they stalled out and never did get Phil's number. We then ran a listener flashback request and then Lloyd Bonifide came back on to finish his audition for American Idol by singing "Hungry Heart" and rapping through the middle of it about how he hopes Bruce Springsteen is crippled for life in a limo accident because of his stance on the Iraq war. Steve Bosell then came on and explained who he was for new listeners.Hour Three:Father James McQuarters kicked off our third hour by saying if the Pope dies, he'd like to "throw his hat in the ring." When Phil points out the fact that the Father has various child molestation charges in his history, McQuarters says he'll "spread some juice around and grease the right palms." Phil then talks about the new "Show Lines" feature on the web page and Harvey Weirman, who quit his Law Talk feature because he was butchering words so bad the name Michael Jackson came out to sound like "Miggelee Boo-Boo," comes on to try his hand at entertainment reporting. In this segment he talks about the new Clint Eastwood film Million Dollar Baby," only his eyes are so bad he thinks it says "Mummy Baby." Then Chris Norton comes on to talk about who he is for our new listeners. Phil reads about the FCC getting slapped down in a federal court and then Vernon Dozier, the football coach closes the show. As Margaret Grey is reciting the shows credits, Bud calls her a whore and she beats him with the phone.
Hour One:Bob Green, CEO of Fraser Foods is on to talk about his unhappiness with the delivery times he is getting out of drivers who work for him. His grocery stores guarantee delivery of groceries, deli items and party platters in 30 minutes or less but his drivers are too "gutless" to drive fast in the rain ands do other things necessary to get the job done, such as drive on sidewalks, the wrong way down one way streets and through peoples yards. Isaac Taylor...now there was a driver. Even though he ran a family of three off of the Ortega Highway, killing all three at the bottom of a ravine, he got a deli platter delivered on time.Hour Two:Chris Norton, a pharmaceutical rep, is organizing a free speech at work movement. He was honest with a co-worker when she brought her baby to work to show everyone. He said the kids face looked "pinched in." This co-worker decided to have her desk moved to another part of the building. Chris thinks its restricting his right to free speech that she would punish him for saying what he said about her kid by moving her desk. After all, he's attracted to her and wants to buy her "drinks."Hour Three:Phil Reads a very funny e-mail marking the differences between him and Comb-Over Boy. One of them : 'Boy tries to get his listeners "laid." Phil doesn't care whether his listeners get laid or not. Then the Cowboy Jim Show features Cowboy Jim telling the kids his wife is expecting a baby. The kids give him a cigar but it explodes and knocks Jim cold. When he comes too, his his haze, he tries to light it again....and it explodes again. This fades into Tom Ginden, some white dude trying to fill in for a black Jamaican disc jockey on some Rastafarian station in Jamaica. He gets chewed out by the owner of the station, both on air and off, who is an African-American that doesn't want the Jamaicans to know he can't stand them and only wants to make a little money. Phil then explains why leaving KFI is a good idea and talks about all-inclusive resorts. He then mentions his wife and kids are in Hawaii and then brings on Bill Arnsparger from the San Diego Zoo, a zoologist who can't remember what an elephant is called among other things, and Bill has a Mina Bird that sounds just like Phil.
Hour One:Jay Santos and his Citizens Auxiliary Police sub commanders are going to go into hotel restaurants and interview couples to see if they are married. If they are they can check into the hotel. If they are not...well...as Jay says "we've got a situation." Earl pants Car Talk featured Earl complaining that he needed Viagra after seeing how his girlfriend looked longingly at some dudes new Mercedes SLR McLaren while she sat in what Earl thought was a pretty hot car, his Camaro. Father James McQuarters came on and talked about what a traitor Corey Feldman is to Michael Jackson and then Phil rapped about Maria being up at Pebble Beach interviewing celebs at the AT&T Pro-Am.Hour Two:Chris Norton, a good-looking young telemarketer from Redondo Beach was on to comment on the recent female teacher/male underage student sexual scandals that have been prominent in the news. His take was its all the kids fault since these old ladies can't resist a young hunk...at least that's how it was for Chris and his 8th grade teacher, Mrs. Gladway, who took one look at how "evident" Chris was in his slacks and was on him. Our listener flashback was the classic Sylvia/David bit where caller Sylvia tells our own David G. Hall she is going to taker her high heel off and jam it in his eye. Then the Comb-Over Boy show featured 'Boy explaining the high comedy art of the "How you doing Tom?/Do you care" exchange.Hour Three:Our last hour kicked off with Love Songs and Bob telling everyone who doesn't have a date this Valentines Day that they are losers. he takes calls from people and suggest ways they can "pop their corks." Kenny Rogers comes on and does another "Holiday" special, this one for Valentines Day featuring the same unending laundry list of D grade TV stars like Vicki Lawrence and Cheryl Ladd. On Harvey Weirman's Senior Chat, Harvey's guest is Paul Rogers, who has written the book "Stuck Accelerator: The Conspiracy Against Seniors." Paul explains that all seniors know the brake is on the right and the accelerator on the left but Detroit lies to them and tells them its the other way around. David G. hall comes on and makes Phil read off the call letters of all of his affiliates since he's been going on and on about his move to Extra Sports AM570, KLAC. Did we mention that Phil is moving, February 21st to Extra Sports AM 570? Gene Klein, professional ass kisser winds up the show with his advice on kissing the bosses ass. Example: Any joke that starts out with "...there was this hair lip, see...." is a sure winner.
No more episodes to show

©2024 Phil Hendrie Show. All Rights Reserved