Tonight David G. Hall guested and railed against a man who won a million dollars in a McDonald's contest. "I have way more dignity than that. If anyone offered me a million dollars I'd hock on the check, fold it in half and stick in the guys shirt pocket. I'm not here to give McDonalds their jollies, winning a contest and having my picture taken with a guy in an orange wig." Jay Santos joined us second hour. Jay feels that people uinloading Christmas presents from their cars and taking them to their homes pose a risk. What's in the packages? Are they really presents....or do they contain the makings for an at-home bomb factory. Jay and his CAP sub-commanders try a variety of things to get people to drop their packages. Tossing a rubber black widow spider onto the package is one way. They also use those fake rubber vomit puddles to try and gross people out. In our third and final hour we replay "A Phil Hendrie Christmas Carol" from 2009 starring Bud Dickman as Ebeneezer Dickman.

A discussion of Christmas and family tonight as we talked with the Dooleys, Bobbie and Steve, about how they extend invitations to family members living around the country and then "pray to the savior Jesus and say please.....PLEASE...make them turn down the invite and say no." Why this contradictory attitude? "It's polite and gracious to offer but it's also expected that people with class will say no." Bobbie says in California, when you invite relatives in from out of state to visit, people say they "got the smell of hog on them..." The hostage taking at a school board meeting in Florida was talked about by Jay Santos of the Citizens Auxiliary Police. While an armed security guard ended the standoff by shooting the gunmen who then took his own life, Jay doesn't think the guard was a hero. "I could have taken the guy without the use of a firearm. Just present a small target and come at him sideways so there's less wind resistance. Then lock my left arm around his neck and right arm across his head, rotate him 180 degress so the cameras see what I'm doing and snap his neck." The audience: Jay would never pass the standard psych test for cops.

Tonight Vernon Dozier, high school football coach, gave Phil and his listeners an earful about whether ambulances should be allowed on a newly installed, expensive, good-drainage football field worth, stadium included, $300,000. Yes there's a kid with a concussion but... Then find out what Jay Santos proposes when it comes to "pat-downs" at airports. How is it Jay is able to conduct a pat-down, where women have their pants "half-way down their hips" and not have one complaint? Listen...

Tonight, leading the first hour off was German writer Shoel Heller who was perplexed by Americans and their going back and forth come election time. "First you like Obama, then you don't, then you do, then you don't. " At this rate, said Mr. Heller, with Germany looking to America for its example, "we might as well go back to National Socialism. Good strong leadership and we're not flip-flopping every two years." Later came Jay Santos of the Citizens Auxiliary Police. Jay and his "sub-commanders" were at polling places today looking at the way people are dressed. "Some of these people were not dressed appropriately. One guy had a pic in his hair and another guy had on swim trunks. I saw another woman wearing a Van de Kamps waitress uniform." Jay said he and his men were sending people home to get into suits and formal head wear until the LA County Sherrif showed up and "made us sit on the curb all lined up like bitches" so that people driving by made fun of them in their bermuda shorts and pith helmets.

Tonight Jay Santos and Dave Oliva engaged in an on-air debate about what should be done to offset the loss of police services in the face of budget cuts for many cities. Mr. Oliva, an aspiring police officer, believes we should reduce the number of hours spent training police on how to "make scumbags more comfortable in the patrol car" and spend more money on billy sticks and tasers. Jay Santos believes he and his "auxiliary police" are the answer, deftly manuvering their way around the U.S. Consitution with their "three-step takedown and "dancing past a person in the doorway" to gain access to their home. The following hour it was the return of Reverand Dave Castorini's Youth Ministry. The Reverand had $20,000 stolen from his church accounts by a young church assistant and fouind himself without the funds for a promised trip to Minnesota to open another youth church. He decided to sculpt a piece of art that he was sure would get paying customers to cough up enough money to make up for the shortfall: A blasphemous piece on The Virgin Mary. While Reverand Castorini says he is sorry and he'll never do it again, he also says he does still get "walk up business to see the sculpture."