Best Of

David G. Hall and Dean Wheeler ganged up on Phil in the first hour telling him he had no right to talk about marine mammals flourishing on the California coast while oil drilling is going on. David reminded Phil that while he was not into censorship Mr. Wheeler's Northern California Holisitic Center is a sponsor.  Dean said the reason why there are no seals in Florida is because the people of Florida killed them all, not because they are not indigenous to the area. Phil then had another meltdown over the Swith Not Being Flipped...he was almost ready to kill himself when he finally demanded that engineering put in an on/off light. Next hour Jack Armstrong, liberal pollster and blogger, babbled abouyt why he thinks some black voters are joining the Tea party. His theory is that African-Americans just want to pee all over the Democrats because it's how they act reflexively. They rebel. A lot of hooey like that. A high point of hour three was Margaret calling in to sing an arrangement of "Folsom Prison Blues" she did for Johnny Cash while she was appearing in "Hair."

We kicked off with Teacher of the Year nominee Vernon Dozier who says to parents "think like a teacher, not like a parent..in other words think more like me." Vernon used as an example of his progressive teaching methods, his singling out two female students....and comparing their chest sizes! It's all a part of hour one. In hour two, Phil does an Obama rant. Basically it had to do with Obama "not being as dumb as he looks." In the last hour, Larry Grover talks about Tiger Woods' youth and how we didn't protect him. Sure he's 35 but thats his physical age. "He's way younger mentally and he needs a pony ride and candy."

Jay Santos of the Citizens Auxiliary Police made a quick return this week to talk about the "senior database" he's compiling. He and his subcommanders will approach any eldely person they see and assess what their end-of-   life accommodation should be. A talkative elderly gentleman belongs in a "psychiatric facility" while a man who "tiny steps" is "tapped out"...that means pull the plug. An old woman holding a box of dry linguini should be in restraints. Jay is doing this as a "citizen physician" because the cost of health care is through the roof. Next up was Art Griego, commercial pilot and as it turns out willing subject in an LSD experiment, who is convinced today's Tea Partiers were dropping acid "by the handful" back in the late 60's and early 70's. He said it's possible, in fact, that Tea Partiers were members of the Manson Family and are now sitting there with their covered dishes listening to speeches from guys dressed as Abigal Adams. Art: "Nothing says Tate-Labianca like fried chcicken."  

Besides losing his temper at the beginning of the show Phil brought on Clara Bingham, the wife of Pastor William Rennick, and she talked about controlling school bullying. Clara said Joyful Union High School practices a kind of aversion therapy whereby they walk up behind a kid being bullied and drop a noose over his head. The idea, says Clara, is to remind the kid of what lay ahead if he doesn't deal with the problem. Either that or they show the kid a dummy floating face down in a pool. Next hour Phil went off on some brain-dead soccer mom who won't get to see her snookums graduate because the school has banned her from the ceremony. She compared detention at the school to "a concentration camp"  and thats all the teachers needed to her. They 86'ed her fat bum. Final hour, Dr, Ron Tarner, astronomer and Tea Partier came on to discuss the poll numbers showing Obama losing public support everywhere...but he only wanted to discuss the poll numbers, not any of the reasons why the numbers are low. When the final caller of the hour said "he doesn't want to discuss it" Dr. Tarner remarked to Phil "Is she talking about my genitals?" That ended that.

Margeret Grey was on tonight talking about a parent-student dance at her sons school where she busted out some "Broadway" moves that she used in New York when she was a (struggling, if ever employed) dancer there. She did the 'cat-crawl, a full lay-out, wrapped her leg around a boys waist that she was dancing with and hiked her skirt above her hips. "You've seen the sculpture of David, right? Well my ass could go right along side it." Ted Bell from "Ted's of Beverly Hills" brought up HPV's again (High Performance Vehicles) and the one he owns-A Mercedes McLaren. As a successful businessman who is "going from one end of this city to the other everyday trying to save the country from Obama." Ted feels he, and about 5 of his friends, should be allowed to drive while holding the cell in one hand and the steering wheel in another. "I don't have time to fool around with a blue tooth when there are lives at stake." Besides, Ted tells us, he can steer that Mercedes with one finger. One of the best calls of the last 4 years is in this segment. In our final hour the return of "As You Like To Hear Them" and an interview with "Bill O'Reilly" who tells Phil, sure, he felt bad for the Marine dad and agreed to pay his court costs but the promotional value of doing that was never far from his mind.....

Bobbie Dooley began the festivities saying that the best way to combat bullying was to go along with the kids and not be marked as a "spaz" or a "douchebag." It's "the lingo of the kids" according to Bobbie. Integrate yourself, says Bobbie. If the kids make fun of you for being fat, go on a diet. What would you rather have? A living, pregant, popular daughter or a spaz swinging from a rope in the garage......Harry Shearer, mercifully, joined us in the second hour talking about his new album "Greed and Fear" and the bad old days at Saturday Night Live....Final hour, Jay Santos of the Citizens Auxiliary Police said the militia groups are all Mickey Mouse and what we should really be on guard against are the tight skirts and baggy pants worn by todays teens...."I guess you guys haven't heard. We just got the news. Gonorrhea's just hit Mach one. It's gone super-bug."

Bob weighed in tonight on candy and it's addictive nature when it comes to children...He prohibits selling candy to kids, will take it out of their hands and put it back and even brings his obese son to the store on Saturdays to sit on a stool with a sign around his neck reading: "Your kid will turn into this if he eats too much."General Gaylon Shaw said Michelle Bachmann saved him fom the bottle.......but when he found out she was married he had, what they call, a slip. He poured a glass full of Knob Creek in his kitchen one night and cried himself to sleep.....but then he crawled back out of the bottle and supported Ms. Bachmann without the sexual component. He claims that Bachmann, not Sarah Palin, is the true shining light of the conservative movement and that those people that went to see Palin this weekend in Nevada are knuckleheads.......or so he says....David G. Hall thought Phil was being a tad racist with his remarks regarding Japanese anime so he devised a system triggered the song "Sukiyaki" if Phil was getting too racial about the Japanese..

Show started with Phil doing a rant about the newly unveiled website design. At a quarter after, as usual, once a month, Dr. Micahel Stone joined us for 'Crime Night.' Dr. Stone talked about Green Beret Jeffrey MacDonald, convicted of killing his wife and daughters. He also talked about women that kill, particularly wives who kill for profit, the stud boy friend or because they're nuts. The next hour we had Prof Emory Clayton who seethed on about the racism of the Tea Party movement and the racsim of a DC cop who asked him about his "Million Casket March." (How are you going to march when you're laying in a casket, asked the cop. Score one for whitey, said Prof. Clayton) Prof. Clayton sounded like such a dumb ass that David G. Hall had to come on the show in the final hour and try to smooth it out. Liberal blogger Jack Armstrong joined Phil in the last hour as well and became so uncomfortable that he screamed at a random woman near the phone he was using...and then the line went dead...