Episodes Archive - Page 823 of 978 - The Phil Hendrie Show

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The Media Archive

The Media Archive

The Media Archive

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Monday, May 23, 2005

Hour 1:Margaret Gray says women in her workplace don't support her because of her big breasts. Caller Monica says large breasts are not a common denominator in big business.Hour 2:Jeff Dowder is on to to talk about the primitive tribes that survived tsunami.Hour 3:Dr. Jim Sadler got injured when he tried to french kiss a panda. David G. Hall calls in to pick a bone with Phil.

Friday, May 20, 2005

Hour One:Lloyd Bonafide has a real problem with the Saddam Hussein underwear picture. When women get a look at "what he got" they may soften their views toward the dictator.Hour Two:Clara Bingham plays cow sound effects, laugh tracks and other insulting noises when overweight children come on campus in order to get them to cry to their parents about it. It's then that Clara can confront these parents who, with every plate of flapjacks they serve, say "I Hate You" to their children.Hour Three:Phil reads e-mail...Phil says that the Saddam underwear shot is simply reflective of the American "practical joker" nature....Bud swears that Bruce Lee just delivered Chinese food to the studio....Darth Hall comes on to berate Phil's umpteenth "Chinaman" crack....The Jim Rome Show features Romey's Grandma Ruthie complaining about how Jim is always putting the touch on her for money.....Phil blathers some more about how he's going to sue the FCC.....Phil comes back from a break and talks about doing his FCC related business sitting on the floor in the morning at his house, drinking a giant cup of coffee, smoking a Marlboro and wearing nothing but pajama bottoms while his neighbors yell at each other outside....

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Hour One:Jeff Dowder calls the show with some messed up "Bill Hendrie Show" theme song....Doug Dannger reports on the new fall TV schedule including the new NBC sitcom, "Daddy, Please Don't Do That".......Darth Hall calls to tell Phil not to be so easy on prison inmates wrongfully convicted....Tsunami Sam sings a blues tribute to the new LA mayor...Hour Two: Dan Gladly from the San Diego Zoo talks about peacocks....Darth Hall calls to bust Phil about his peacock discussion with the FCC heat on.....Phil talks about the last issue of Newsweek being made of two-ply for easy reading and wiping....Dodger baseball: Rick Monday comments on how good some players look not wearing a jockstrap...Phil talks about how lonely life is as a Star Wars freak.....Phil discusses his upcoming lawsuit against the FCC....Hour Three:Vernon Dozier has a website dedicated to his Belmar Academy water polo team...filled with pictures of hunky young guys in Speedos "that might give some pre-menopausal mother a lousy thrill. Big deal."

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Hour One:Margaret Grey talks about her son Jason Jay Delmonico, a boy she and Frank adopted, and now he is in a movie. She's proud because when you adopt a kid, according to Margaret, its like picking a perfectly good bologna sandwich out of a garbage pail......Hour Two:Rudy Canosa, owner of Je t'aime Lingerie discussed the Minutemen, a citizens group patrolling the border of Mexican looking for illegals. Rudy said that if they kept up that kind of pressure, illegals already in the United States would get upset and we might see more "fingers in bowls of chili."Hour Three:Paul "Tubby" Lane believes the time honored racing tactic of "drafting" can be used on freeways to save gasoline. Smaller cars can draft behind larger "gas pigs." If the car in front slows down, you pull the wheel left or right and slingshot past traffic so fast, you can "put your feet up on the dash and catch some REM sleep."

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Hour One:Bud opens the show to tell Phil he heard a rumor that Phil sexually assaulted Annette Funicello in her wheel chair. Phil loses it and beats up Bud. David G. Hall orders Phil out of the studio and proceeds to introduce 3 substitute hosts: Lloyd. Mavis and Jay Santos.....Bud retracts his statement and says he was mistaken. It wasn't Annette Funicello. It was Corky from "Life Goes On." Phil beats him again. David tries to carry the show and fails. He gets Phil back on. Bud says it wasn't Phil anyway. It was Jim Rome.Hour Two: Steve Bosell contemplates suing Dr. Phil McGraw for encouraging openness in a marriage. Steve decides to open up his inner most sexual fantasies to April. One of them is his desire to stub out a lit Camel on her rear-end.Hour Three:Phil talks about Fillmore Middle not getting picked up....talks about "War of the Worlds" by Orson Welles not being a hoax.....Bob Greene of Frazier foods comes on to talk about a new promotion for charity: He'll dance at bachelorette parties wearing a blue suit and wing tips.

Monday, May 16, 2005

Hour 1: Dave Oliva, wannabe LAPD is concerned.....the man who was going to marry the Runaway Bride might suddenly get angry with her and "backhand her like Rod Laver at the Australian Open..." If Dave is the cop responding to that call he is going to be torn: A man shouldn't hit a woman but, on the other hand, she did make him look "like a horse's be-hind in front of all of America."Hour 2: Vernon Dozier, a high school teacher, comes on to explain why he has to take a second job at a "sandwich" shop. His pay as a teacher is inadequate. While teaching is the worlds most honorable profession and he is still forced to stand there taking sandwich orders, he ought to be able to date someone's 15 year old daughter without explaining himself.Hour 3: RC Collins from Bradley Military Academy is on to say he's a cadet and unlike Marines in basic training, he can't blow off steam by getting into a bar fight. He wants so much to go to Iraq and stick and insurgents head on a stick. So he and some other cadets "represent" at a local middle school where they turn over garbage cans and shove toilet paper down the toilet to blow off steam and show the "civilians" that they are to be respected.

Friday, May 13, 2005

Hour One:Ted Bell is outraged that he was pulled over by the cops, thrown on the ground and cuffed just because, in wanting to see what his new SLR McClaren Mercedes could do, he tried to out run them on the freeway.Hour Two:"Lord" Hall enters with his stupid "Imperial March" music and rips Phil for some imagined sexual content on the show,....Phil and Bud talk about Hitler and Jesus switching names.....Phil thinks about half the people you see talking on cell phones aren't talking to anyone but they are too embarrassed to be seen "just not doing anything.".....Phil tells people about www.419eaters.com, a website that tries to mess up those Nigerian clowns that send bogus money claims....Producer Tony Neal wants Phil to take over the Dave Chappelle Show....Bob Bakian reports on celebrating the final episode of Star Trek, Enterprise....Hour Three:While soaking in a tub of his wife's Calgon beads, Lloyd Bonafide calls to complain about his "bald-faced liar of a grandson" who is all of five.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Hour One:Bobbi Dooley is, along with one of her girlfriends Susan Ruttigliano, showing the girls in the graduating high school senior class how to do "area shaving" so as to feel special and sexy. Problem is: Bobbi doesn't think the parents of the girls "need know."Hour Two:Phil reads e-mail.... Phil talks about his sons still farting at the dinner table.... Observations about Dennis Miller.... Dr. Hans Melzer with "Sex and Death.".... Phil talks about a high school prank in Wisconsin, home of Ed Gein.... a man calls 9-11 because his Friends DVD collection got wedged when he tripped and fell on it..... Phil updates the listeners on the Long Beach PD wasting some dirt bag.....Hour Three:G.Gordon Liddy does his talk show after having his brain reduced to a five year olds....Phil reflects on the late homosexual leader of the FBI, J. Edgar Hoover..... Phil talks about drinking too much water.... Laurel and Hardy doing "Luke, I am Your Father."..... Bob Bakian is chastised by David G.Hall, as "Lord Hall," for doing shtick when he's just a traffic guy.... Phil talks about the latest damage to the brain the FCC is responsible for.... Phil gets a physical from the company doctor while he is on the air.... Phil talks about the wonder and amazement of a cartoonist, Ted Rahl, never having drawn or written anything funny.....

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Hour One:Bill Duncy, a private pilot tells Phil and the listeners that the airspace over the White House should be left open to celebrities who fly private planes since "they've given us so much." They should simply have their agents send the FAA headshots and resumes so the control tower dudes know who they are.Hour Two:Chris Norton's new company, Germaine Hair Care and Salon Products for Women is a bold new venture. He and Lance Germaine base their sales technique on Chris's innate "sess-uality" and his direct and honest approach. "Hi my name is Chris and I wanted to tell you that your face isn't really cutting it."Hour Three:Phil lets everyone know he isn't retiring. He was joking about it since he thought he was going senile steeping on the gas when he thought it was the brake......... RC Collins calls and, along with Rudy, tries out his "la-la-la" technique........ Earl Pants Car Talk has Earl losing his toupee while he is driving a convertible which winds up blowing onto a cops head........ David G. Hall announces that from now on his entrance onto the show will be preceded by the Star Wars "Imperial March" music and he is to addressed as "Lord" Hall..........Phil talks about giving his youngest son a driving lesson........Phil thinks back on taking Maria out for their first date in his five-speed truck and the valet at Santa Anita not knowing how to drive it....

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Hour One:Phil talks about some depressing stuff in the news...gives the 2nd Marines the heads-up that they have a douche bag from the LA Times imbedded with them in Iraq....Bud starts talking like Yoda....A caller (Bob Greene) tells Phil he is a big Ann Curry fan, an Asian-American newswoman on the Today show, and its a damn shame NBC is running a clip showing her laughing which "bucks her teeth out Japanese-style."...Phil starts talking about a couple of news items but David calls to tell him to get back to "Anne Curry's teeth"....Herb Sewell discusses Jerry Hobbs, the alleged child-killer.....Phil discusses the Heavens Gate and Jonestown mass suicides....Hour Two:Don Berman from Channel 19 news is Phil's special guest......he is on the show to talk about teenage drinking and driving and how kids can avoid the peer pressure to drink and drive while still enjoying the party by smoking a "little bit of weed"......Don himself used top drive to work stoned "ands I was fine." When asked by Phil if he was stoned at work Don said "the effects wear off by the time you pull into the lot."Hour Three:The Cowboy Jim Show gets a little graphic while talking about child abduction....Phil talks about the Runaway Bride and how she is checking herself into the bin.....Dr. Jim Sadler, accused of having 500 pictures of naked children on his computer talks to Phil while coaching in a tennis tournament....Bob Bakian reports on the unveiling of a new statue of singer James Brown....Phil remembers James Brown at a press conference in D.C.....

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