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Friday, July 12, 2002

Friday, July 12, 2002 Hour 1: Clara Bingham complains about black people not getting luxury amenities in prisons and treated with manners. Harvey Wireman is her attorney and defends her. Hour 2: Ted Bell's restaurant caters weddings, and Ted complains that women who throw flowers or garters to the guests are low class, and Ted and his staff treat them accordingly. Hour 3: VARIETY.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Hour 1:Phil has Tonga River Fever...shock and amazement goes over the air as Phil's voice has changed to that of a woman. Jeff Dowder comes on and decides to sing a song called "Good Bye Gaza Strip." Bill Clendenon who is a radio consultant comes on to talk to Phil. Phil has a problem, he can't understand anything he says. Margaret Gray calls in tell Phil she is celebrating Sean Penn's Birthday. Phil sends him a present...that explodes. Bob Greene tells Phil he asked his employees to pick up produce on the way into work to save on gas used by big trucks. Bob thinks they should do it and reminds them where they would be without him...in the fields. David G. Hall interrupts Phil and tell's him not to use the words "dictate" and "Stuck It In".Hour 2:Ted Bell of Ted's of Beverly Hills joins Phil and talks about how his sons teacher talked to him rudely. As time goes on Ted tell's Phil that all he wanted was for his son to tip his teacher $100 so he could get a better grade. Listeners call in saying he handled it inappropriately and that it was not a representation of Father and Son bonding...and maybe he should think about home schooling and stop being so materialistic.Hour 3:Lloyd Bonafide is on to talk about taking his grandson to see March of the Penguins. He said there were stupid kids their distracting and talking throughout the movie. Callers think he is acting like a disgruntled old man and that his grandson behaves better than him. R.C. Collins comes on to explain to Phil and the listeners that Katherine Harris has a nice pair. He decides to explain Straight Out of Chatsworth. R.C. used to be goth...Phil closes the show with his view of March of the Penguins and the Origins of Man.

Monday, June 25, 2012

Rick Shadova, an immigrant from Ireland, was a guest contributor tonight, telling Phil that "if you really think about it there are no illegal immigrants in America. After all, its like jaywalking. No one enforces that law." He also said that if Americans tried to sneak into Ireland illegally the Irish would be shocked, wondering why anyone would leave America for "a toilet like Ireland." Ted Bell, owner of Ted's of Beverly Hills, told Phil he did not approve of waiters or waitresses spitting into the food of people who don't tip well but he felt that without at least the threat of that "they'll get stiffed." Ted went on to tell one caller that "the servers telegraph that they may spit into your food by coughing into a handkerchief or scratching their armpits. I don't like it but I'm pretty sure none of my people would do it....without good reason..."

Ep. 1736

Thursday June 4, 2020

Ted Bell from Ted’s of Beverly Hills is angry that someone dropped a note in the “Ted” suggestion box

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

We were joined by Ted Bell from Ted's Of Beverly Hills on the question of "conceal and carry" in his restaurant. Ted favors conceal and carry...for himself and his busboys and waiters....not his customers. Them he frisks, especially the veterans. He doesn't want one of them having a flashback and mistaking a waitress for the Taliban David G. Hall was Phil's guest as well asking Phil to "re-enact" being on the air on 9/11/01 so he can use the tape in "meetings" he's having with some "heavy-hitting producers." When Phil refused, saying it was dishonest, Hall told Phil to "shut his mouth" while he talked with the listeners about it.....

Show Log

“Dean Wheeler came on and said it was funny that he wanted to see the Fox reporter lifted off the ground by the wind and carried backwards at a high rate of speed through a glass store front” Show Log For Tuesday August 28, 2012

"Dean Wheeler came on and said it was funny that he wanted to see the Fox reporter lifted off the ground by the wind and carried backwards at a high rate of speed through a glass store front" Show Log For Tuesday August 28, 2012Tonight, Gene Decarta, Vernon Dozier's brother-in-law, talked about imagining a street sign coming loose from the hurricane winds in Louisianna and slamming into Anderson Cooper's head, such is his dislike of CNN's whole editorial stance. Dean Wheeler came on and said it was funny that he wanted to see the Fox reporter lifted off the ground by the wind and carried backwards at a high rate of speed through a glass store front. Bob Bakian, the reporter who can't speak or even function intelligently without "news music" behind him, reported from New Orleans on the progress of Isaac. Chris Norton and Dr. Jim Sadler talked about STD's in the porn business and how Chris infected Jim's wife-to-be in a sex scene on her last day as an adult film actress

Wednesday, October 13, 1999

Hour 1:"Ted's Terror House" Ted Bell joins the program to talk about a haunted house he's doing at his restaurant to raise money for charity. Ted is upset that no one told him that some of the physically challenged kids he's raising money for will be attending.Hour 2:"The SHAQ Generation" Phil brings on 16-year old basketball fan R.C. Collins, together they discuss some all-time basketball greats.Hour 3:"Distinguished Speaker Series" Bobbie Dooley is very disappointed that her neighbor Janice Greeley refused two tickets to see the Dali Lama speak. Bobbie asks the question, when people are culturally ignorant... when do you intercede?

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Our show tonight featured Margaret Grey complaining about flight attendants and pilots makinjg passengers shut their cell phones off just to satisfy "a power trip." Naturally no appearance by Margaret is complete with her complaining about Phil and his "male listeners pushinhg me down on a figurative bed and pinning my arms back..figuratively." The following hour it was Ted Bell from Ted's of Beverly Hills very upset that his restaurant got a 3.5 from the Zagat's Survey...lower than Outback Steakhouse. Ted also complained about how his segment was being produced and then admitted his restaurant, while have great food, is filthy.

Monday, September 26, 2005

Hour 1:Phil opens the show discussing his Sunday night. He says he ate a tub of pudding and watched Desperate Housewives! David and Bud make fun of Phil because he stumbled over his words. Phil discussed his brunch on Sunday morning with the Fillmore Middle cast. Phil plays a listener flashback called Spanish Sportscast from 9-14-04. Margaret Gray joins Phil, she is on a train. She is returning from the Anti-War Protest. Margaret Gray sings "American Idiot" by Green Day. Phil asks the question "where does money from the hurricane really go?" Phil discusses the L.A. Radio People Poll. He was ranked # 10. Phil reads e-mail from his listeners. Phil talks about how he heard from Coach Jaggs.Hour 2:Ted Bell is on with Phil and he is upset. Peter Maddox the cancer patient lived. Ted donated money to him thinking he was terminal. Callers believe he is an idiot for asking for the money back. One caller tells Ted that he has no idea what kids with cancer have to go through.Hour 3:Pastor William Rennick surprises Phil with singing Hot Chocolate's "You Sexy Thing." Phil discusses e-mail and how a lot is going on with the show. Phil discusses gas prices and how he is spending $60 a week. Phil says Starband is a horrible company. Phil talks about how the weatherman says Hurricane Katrina was made by Japanese Yakoza. Lloyd Bonafide joins Phil and tells him that Thomas Jefferson had relations with his negro maid. At the close of the show Phil discusses how Lyndie England was found guilty of War Crimes.

I Can’t Stand It Any Longer

I've tried promoting my business via this Twitter and I don't think I'll be able to take it much longer. I spent a good amount of money coming up with the right slogan for my business. "We want to put our meat in your mouth" was the winner out of some 15 or 16 that made the cut. Among them: "Steak so thick and juicy you'd marry it" and "Our award winning chops, steaks and ribs are talking to you right now." I went with "We want to put our meat in your mouth" because it was the direct message, the clear and concise message. It was only after I'd gotten home and was fixing myself a drinkl that I got the call from Terry Hoban who said "Blow jobs. We forgot the whole blow job angle." I recall my glass and ice hitting the tiled pool bar floor I was standing in but I recovered very quickly. "Don't touch it," I said. Don't go near it. We take the high road." Well, some 15 years later the slogan survives but not without idiots still looking to put a big, brown stain on it. And so comes Twitter and the predictable clods peppering me with "tweets" about meat, my mouth, their mouths, their meat, my meat...you get the picture. Ted's Of Beverly Hills becomes the slobber poster child and the image is perpetuated by Twitter. Who do I blame? Well I don't blame myself. That's simply a matter of policy. I could blame Phil Hendrie, who hosts our segment on his show. He has about as juvenile an audience as I've ever seen. The only one worse was when I used to do the odd shot on Tom Joyner. I could blame Marcy, my wife, who looked at me from over the edges of her sunglasses when I came home with the campaign then began undressing right there in the back yard. She simply could have said "Oh, you want me to blank your blank? Why didn't you say so" and I would have explained. But when your wife's got what my wife's got and she starts taking her clothes off, even if you're standing in the foyer of an orphanage, God help me, you don't stop her. Today Ted's continues to slide its delicious meat into any willing mouth. But the price I've had to pay...people walking up to me on the street and saying "Say Ted, you wanna put your meat in my mouth?"...is one that brings to mind the actor Ned Beatty and the shit storm he's weathered for 40 years all because he....................................................squealed like a pig. I'm Ted Bell

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