Hour One:Vernon Dozier, high school football coach, math teacher and avid NASCAR fan is on to complain about the fact that even though he "pleaded" with his wife not to have to baby-sit their granddaughter while he watched NASCAR, she made him thus forcing him to split his time between watching the racing on TV and cleaning baby puke off of his brand new "Nat Nast bowling shirt." That's why, when his wife got home, he gave her hair a "playful tug till it snapped her head back" while talking to her about his ruined afternoon. As Vernon said, "Messing with a NASCAR fan is like messing with a Bakersfield chimp."Hour Two:RC Collins wants to go on a "road trip" to San Francisco with his fellow cadets from Bradley to see Nobu Uematsu, famed Final Fantasy composer" and he wants to take his mom's Lexus but she won't let him. RC laments that his friend Raul will have to drive them in Raul's Camaro but RC is reluctant to be seen in a "Beaner-mobile." He goes on to tell one of Phil's callers that when "I bring Bin Laden's head into your kitchen on the end of my bayonet and place it on your kitchen counter, you don't even have to say thank you. Just don't make me ride around in a Bean Wagon.".Hour Three:Phil reminisces about being trapped in Hollywood during the first LA Marathon. The he comments quickly on what sounds like Florence Henderson's teeth sticking to her gums in the Polydent commercial. Then Phil does a quick commentary on the Italian journalist who was held captive by insurgents and then let go. Apparently she's spending more time squealing about the Yanks that shot at her car as it was speeding out of town. Phil then observes that Kirstie Alley's Fat Actress Show is a great idea since her life and the lives of the rest of these people are far more compelling than anything they do in TV or film. We then play a listener flashback of a classic, Bobbi Dooley's Underwear. Darren Browne, program director of C93 calls in and pukes into the phone to the point that Phil says it sounds like he's morphing into "another species." Then we play a commercial for the latest film from Oliver Stone, "Farm" about Mr. Stones belief that millions of Arabs and Arab-Americans are being held incognito by George Bush and his war stooges on dairy farms across America that have been turned into concentration camps and gulags but by day still sell yogurt and margarine.

Hour 1RC Collins from Bradley Military Academy is on to say he's a cadet and unlike Marines in basic training, he can't blow off steam by getting into a bar fight. He wants so much to go to Iraq and stick and insurgents head on a stick. So he and some other cadets "represent" at a local middle school where they turn over garbage cans and shove toilet paper down the toilet to blow off steam and show the "civilians" that they are to be respected.Hour 2Bob Green, CEO of Fraser Foods is on to talk about his unhappiness with the delivery times he is getting out of drivers who work for him. His grocery stores guarantee delivery of groceries, deli items and party platters in 30 minutes or less but his drivers are too "gutless" to drive fast in the rain ands do other things necessary to get the job done, such as drive on sidewalks, the wrong way down one way streets and through peoples yards. Isaac Taylor...now there was a driver. Even though he ran a family of three off of the Ortega Highway, killing all three at the bottom of a ravine, he got a deli platter delivered on time.Hour 2Mr Steven Bosell with another lawsuit. This one is against, incredibly, his five year old nephew for pointing at Steve's "lower body" and saying "shooting blanks" because that's what the little guy heard his aunt talking about. Steve is sure the kid is trying to humiliate him as a way of getting back at Steve for being drunk behind the wheel the night his father died 4 years ago. Steve is trying to "come at" the kid so the kid knows "it's on" in case the kid has anything in mind that's a bit heavier, like sitting in his car seat behind Steve all innocent and then suddenly driving a pencil into Steve's medulla.

Hour One:Phil reads some of the shows funniest lines as submitted by listeners. Example" RC Collins said, "You show me where it says 'bonesmoker' in the consitution." David Hall calls and tells Phil he's gotta go to Ryan Seacrests Hollywood Walk of Fame Star ceremony and he is responsible for keeping it clean with 409 and a rag. Little Logan Benson calls to say "my grandpa thinks Johnnie Cochran was a fast, talking darkie."Hour Two:Larry Grover, the "Angry Liberal" comes on the show to talk about how his son was detained by the police after a journal he was keeping revealed extremely violent thoughts, like wanting to "slit the school principals throat and then hang him upside down to let the blood drain out." Larry is upset with the cops because he son told him it was an April Fools Joke and, anyway, its all paranoia that Bush created after 9/11.Hour ThreeBrass Villenueva is a valet at a swank West Los Angeles restuarant. He says that once you give him the keys to your car, he can, by law, use the car to "get a bucket at KFC or a sandwich....but only if it was an emergency." In the past, valets that work for him have borrowed patrons cars only to be involved in police chases or traffic stops that turn into drug busts. Naturally Phil isn't buying it but Brass says, "right there on the ticket it says we are not responsible for stolen and damaged property so I'm not resposnsible for it being stolen even though, technically, I stole it."

Hour 1: RC Collins wants to go on a "road trip" to San Francisco with his fellow cadets from Bradley to see Nobu Uematsu, famed Final Fantasy composer" and he wants to take his mom's Lexus but she won't let him. RC laments that his friend Raul will have to drive them in Raul's Camaro but RC is reluctant to be seen in a "Beaner-mobile." He goes on to tell one of Phil's callers that when "I bring Bin Laden's head into your kitchen on the end of my bayonet and place it on your kitchen counter, you don't even have to say thank you. Just don't make me ride around in a Bean Wagon.".Hour 2: Mr. Bonafide had to manhandle a female driver to get his point across regarding the proper amount of space needed for RV drivers in rainy weather.Hour 3: Bob Green, CEO of Frazier Foods is excited about his Manager/Employee Relations Seminar that will help bring employees to a greater understanding of what managers are up against. He tells Phil that one listens with they're ears, not their eyes, so it doesn't matter that during a recent job evaluation interview he was looking at a female employees breasts and "butt." He was still listening to her so what's the big deal.