The Media Archive

The Media Archive

The Media Archive

The Media Archive

We’ve got over 45,000 hours of content… wander at your own risk.

Monday, June 20, 2005

Hour 1:Margaret Grey believes the US Army is filled with Lynndie England's, "a lurching mob of 'gloids."Hour 2:Raj Feneen came on the show to say that NASCAR wastes oil with their "stupid racing." The oil that is wasted by NASCAR is the resource of the middle east and Americans use it to race cars and go buy "Biggie fries." Phil ended the hour by saying that NASCAR is superior to any other sport because you can bring a cooler in and no dumbass fan is going to throw something on the track without the other fans around him, without warning, ending his life.Hour 3:Vernon Dozier listened as a female student told him she and her boyfriend were experimenting sexually and that she was afraid of getting pregnant. Vernon tells Phil that "naturally I got aroused" and that she found out because "I was wearing Spandex cycling shorts" but that he wanted to help her. He advised her to try "the back door."

Friday, June 17, 2005

Hour One:Ted Bell's steakhouse is such a great, prime, continental experience, he feels its acceptable to comment on how nice women's b-u-t-t's are. He feels any woman who can't see that she is in a class place and the price for that is him grabbing their a-s-s as he leads them to their table is an egotistical b-i-t-c-h.Hour Two:Bob Greene, the chairman of Frazier Foods, is on to defend his employees for hiring prostitutes to entertain suppliers who visit. Bob says that the guy who supplies his Chinese noodles beat up on of the women and left her to hitch hike home with a ball gag in her mouth "but that's not as bad as Michael Jackson walking backwards and touching some corduroy wearing kid."Hour Three:The Rocco Pandilini Experience is a radio show with a guy that tries to talk sexy to young babes but his imbecile call screener keeps putting 100 year old women on the air.....Phil takes calls from folks watching the webcast in Chicago, Portland, Tampa.....and on a US Navy base in Sicily!.....Art Bell discusses General Johnson Jameson's latest invention, a seismograph that "predicts" earthquakes.....Little Logan Benson checks in with his grandpa's latest opinions.....A guy calls Phil to tell him he is going to ram his Oldsmobile into the hair salon that just gave him a "Brady Bunch Perm."........

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Hour One:Retired Army General Gaylan Shaw is interviewed by Phil concerning the reports of abuse at Guantanamo. General Shaw asserts that Guantanamo detainees are faking being abused the same way some "old ladies walk a cross walk really, really slow in order to make people sitting in their cars feel sorry for them."Hour Two:David G. Hall tells Phil to get the web cast time for Calcutta, India right because he doesn't want "a lot of dot heads calling me up and screaming at me..."...Phil tries to figure out what Air Americas hire/fire policy is....An Air America program director, Darren Browne of C93 in Pierre, S.D. is, once again, severely beaten by Bud who goes through the phone line to get to him....Jeff Dowder comes on to talk about ride safety following the tragedy at Disney World. He thinks its about time people "get certified to ride Dumbo or any elephant-like rides..."...Ted Bell tells Phil he saw a CHP cop flick a cigarette butt out a window.....Phil reads some e-mail..Hour Three:Phil speculates that Jethro Tull went from being a good blues band to a poncy, English folk-band when Ian Anderson found standing on one leg and playing a flute to be "stimulating..".....Phil tells everyone that driving in California traffic this summer will basically turn you into a cannibal....Phil remembers his mom and dad's Brazilian samba records...Mavis Leonard calls to say Michael Jackson should work his way back into show biz by doing a minstrel act...Larry Grover calls to say the Bush administration made the girl in Aruba disappear. He tells Phil with more discussions like that, Air America stations are bound to keep him.....Phil mentions the pictures on the website from Tucson which prompts Bud to ask why no one in the crowd is laughing. Caller Dean Wheeler wonders if nerve gas was being used.....Golfer Jim Fry, supposedly born without any arms, shows Phil how to hold a golf club with his teeth. David G. goes ballistic when Jim tells Phil to "put the shaft in his mouth...."

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Hour 1:RC Collins of Bradley Military Academy wants to be 101st Airborne but would like the option of not jumping out of a plane into combat if it looks too hairy.....RC talks with a combat veteran who tells him he'd kick him out the door anyway. RC says "that would be murder"........RC says that coming down in a parachute makes the target for any enemy on the ground quite obvious...He's shooting up so "what do you think he's going to hit first?....Phil says taking King of the Hill off of the air is Fox "trying to wring every last penny out of that half-hour "like they have their hands on a KFC chickens throat..."...Phil tells the story of the 101st at Bastogne in WW2.....Hour 2:Lloyd Bonafide is insistent that when the youth center he and his wife financially support has its teen formal dance for underprivileged youth, a song he wrote called "I Gotta Rock" be played by the band. The songs lyrics go "I gotta rock, I gotta rock, for God's sake do I have to rock."Hour 3:Vernon Dozier, high school football coach, math teacher and avid NASCAR fan is on to complain about the fact that even though he "pleaded" with his wife not to have to baby-sit their granddaughter while he watched NASCAR, she made him thus forcing him to split his time between watching the racing on TV and cleaning baby puke off of his brand new "Nat Nast bowling shirt." That's why, when his wife got home, he gave her hair a "playful tug till it snapped her head back" while talking to her about his ruined afternoon. As Vernon said, "Messing with a NASCAR fan is like messing with a Bakersfield chimp."

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Hour One:Bobbie Dooley is having someone kicked out of Western Estates because their kid told her a joke that ended with the phrase "....no F-ing way." Bobbi feels it was the child telling her, Bobbi, to "F-off." Anyway, Bobbi and Steve both want the woman out of the community even though she and Bobbi are "best friends."Hour Two:Steve Bosell attempts to check on his daughters slumber party while trying not to wake the girls up. The problem is, he's wearing a t-shirt with no under wear and straddles one of the sleeping bags, directly over some kids head, as he opens a window.....Hour Three:Jay Santos of the Citizens Auxiliary Police came on to talk about how tough it is to enforce the drug laws pertaining to methamphetamine since the only people that use it "are white people...and there's a little hitch" of sadness in his step, says Jay, when he has to approach a white motorist. Jay then grabs a handful of hair and pulls the motorists head back to shine a flashlight up their nose to see if there's any "sprinkling of meth around the nostril portions."

Monday, June 13, 2005

Hour One:Herb Sewell comments on the Michael Jackson acquittal saying many of the men he was incarcerated with "for various perversions" wonder if now, with this verdict, the "light is green" for perverts.....Hour Two:Doug Dannger, a gay man and a gay journalist, claims during this freewheeling hour that he is also black, having experienced "the same kind of discrimination." Therefore, Doug claims that many black people are frightened that another pervert may have just been let loose on the streets but also glad that a black man was lynched by "a pack of Central Coast crackers."............Hour Three:Phil tries to explain away the pod cast problems, boasting that "some new technology will be installed"......Phil then screams about how we "need to do something about the price of oil" but says he's still not buying a hybrid....The Cowboy Jim Show features a gun safety lesson that has Jim (naturally) blowing off his own manhood and the show announcer bringing on a cartoon and then committing suicide....David G. Hall, feeling the Cowboy Jim bit was real juvenile, makes Phil sing the Cowboy Jim theme song......Finally Margaret Grey tells Phil Tom Cruise is a huge fan and wants to come watch the show but first Phil has to attend a series of lectures at the Scientology Center.........

Friday, June 10, 2005

Hour 1:"Sing Radio" with Barry Brazier. Hear Barry sing his show to "Rockin' in the Free World." Hal and Viola make a banner for the Michael Jackson trial. Tsunami Sam sings a song called "Joe Jackson, you better have the blues." Rick Murphy from the Catholic Mens Abstinence League tells Justin McAlroy he'll go to hell if he has sex.Hour 2: Phil talks about his pilot, Fillmore Middle and reads some e-mail. Phil talks about Sean Penn's "journalism" in Iran. An E-mailer says Condoleeza Rice called the show last night. Phil talks about poor reporting on CIA concerning 9-11.Hour 3:Brass Villanueva says the Minutemen Project is illegal. Callers say Brass is an idiot that doesn't know that California is in America.

Thursday, June 9, 2005

Hour One:Bob Green of Frazier Foods disqualifies all of his white female employees from the chance of winning a trip to Aruba because they might get caught by the "white slavers.".....they would fetch a pretty penny...Hour Two:Raj Feneen swears the child pornography found on his computer by police isn't his...He says his neighbor hacked in and put it there because he hates Arabs and has "a mind clogged with grease from fast food."....Hour Three:David G. Hall comes on to inform Phil he has to wear a horse costume at his JOLT Radio, Tucson appearance this weekend....Phil tells folks who may visit L.A. this summer not to bring their cell phones because L.A. has no cell service....Hugh Quiff, border patrol agent tries to tell Phil how special the horses that they use are but Phil can't help but notice the guy is surrounded by barnyard sounds....Phil updates the listeners on what's being done about the pod cast fiasco....Bob Bakian comes on to do traffic but instead starts doing the whole Captain Quint/SS Indianapolis monologue from "Jaws."....then Bud messes up Bobs helicopter sound effect by replacing it with, first a horse race, then a ping pong match and finally the sounds of the country at sunset....Phil brings on a Leprechaun wrestler named The Wee Warrior who puts Phil and Bud in a full nelson after they laugh at him......

Wednesday, June 8, 2005

Hour One:Margaret Grey explains that Fathers Day was actually created for two reasons: 1) to let children honor their fathers and 2) to let wives apologize to husbands that they badgered into fathering children for them.....Hour Two:Phil talks about home improvement disasters....David G. Hall hears Phil refer to the concrete slab on his house and busts him for saying "slab.".....A caller is stuck at Yellowstone National Park due to a landslide and is now considering sex with his sister......The Reverend Jim Jeffcoat calls Rosie and Hannity going on the View together "an abomination."......Coast to Coast w/Art Bell begins with Art talking about a volcano in Mexico erupting and spewing lava. David G. Hall calls Art and asks him why he's talking about "erupting" and "spewing.".......The caller from Yellowstone is back on, this time asking for the Santa Barbara D.A.'s number. Apparently while looking at Old Faithful he claims he had a flashback of Michael Jackson molesting him.....Hour Three:Phil tells some World War Two story to illustrate how he feels when someone is driving like a turd in the fast lane....Mike Yanitsky, Bee Exterminator tracks a bee through an infested house......Phil talks about Tyson/McBride this weekend....Harvey Weirman and Jeff Dowder attempt to answer questions about the recent pod cast screw-ups......

Tuesday, June 7, 2005

Hour One:Steve Bosell of B&B Construction, Corona, California is contemplating a lawsuit against the Marriott Hotel chain because Mr.. Bosell couldn't perform sexually with his wife in a Marriott Hotel room knowing there was a bible in a drawer close by.Hour Two:Bob Bakian reports flooding near the Michael Jackson trial courthouse....or is that the Pacific Ocean....David G. Hall has information that the real Phil Hendrie died at the age of two from "the SIDS"........Phil gives advice to these poor kids who rent limos for the night with the company name printed on the side.....Phil reads e-mail and gets into some Mormon shtick....Phil talks about how the pod casts are butchered because of some new "rules".....Clara, with her nephew Robert watching TV in the background, calls Phil to talk about the new black Honeymooners....Hour Three:Bobbi and Steve Dooley come on to talk about the graduation party they are planning for Seth, their high school senior, and how there won't be any other adults allowed except for her and Steve because she is so "now and with it" listening to "Coldplay and Good Charlotte."

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