Hour 1:Chris Norton joins the program to talk about "Millennium Singles Directory", a respectful list of women's names who have been molested as a child, Chris says that based on his experience these are not good women for a relationship.Hour 2:While showing his son how to "pop the clutch" in his Corvette, restaurant owner Ted Bell accidentally hit one of his busboys in the parking lot.Hour 3:Margaret Gray sings Pink Floyd's "Welcome to the Machine" with her own lyrics. The RC Collins "Blows-A-Meter" sizes up the latest "Teachers" ratings. Phil fell off a ladder yesterday. Phil talks about how he will miss his characters after his retirement. Harvey Wireman reads from futoncritic.com. Phil mentions other radio personalities that he admires and reads some e-mail.

Hour 1:High School senior Justin McElroy doesn't want to attend Grad Night in a bus. He thinks the students should be allowed to drive themselves in their own cars. In retalliation Justin has put up an offensive website to show how angry kids are about the decision.Hour 2:Margaret Gray helps Phil reminisce about his radio days in 1990. Lloyd Bonafide wants to know if Phil read the story about Kevin Costner playing with himself at a massage parlor. A caller named Christian calls in from a newsstand where he's seen the Kevin Costner story. Charlie hates Phil's show, always has, but he always listens. RC Collins thinks Paul Newman was yankin' it at a massage parlor. Harvey Wireman says Phil's paranoid for thinking Jamie Kennedy stole his show idea from Phil.Hour 3:Pastor William Rennick weighs in on the Kevin Costner story and then sings the hits of Supertramp. Dave Oliva reads a news story about Randall "Duke" Cunningham.

Hour 1:Phil discusses the Jackson Whites and who they are. R.C. Collins tells Phil that they outta go up in the mountains and flame throw all the Jackson Whites. Bud Dickman plays Porky Pig sound fx when Phil stumbles over his words. Margaret Gray joins the program with Harvey Wireman and Lloyd Bonifide to discuss Air America. Margaret & Harvey sing "I'd like to teach the world to sing"Hour 2:Lloyd Bonifide believes that trips to Japanese Steakhouses might trigger flashbacks for war veterans due to post traumatic stress syndrome.Hour 3:Chris Pootay's Love Songs is coming thru the airwaves...he's taking love song requests. David G. Hall decides to send in Dr. Toins to zap Phil. David G. Hall fires Phil for saying "Big box," right before he fires Bud and hires Harvey Wireman and Lloyd Bonifide. Margaret Grey joins us with a program called "Cavalcade of Cows." Herb Sewell joins us with a program called "Filmstars I'd like to take into my basement."