Hour One:Steve Bosell is suing Las Vegas. He says he has gone there with the sole intention of going to his hotel room, taking a shower, putting on a nice cardigan sweater and a pair of Dockers and going down stairs to the tables to play black jack and drink ice water. But no sooner does he get off the plane then the doorman at the hotel is "sending messages telepathically" telling him to go to Olympic Gardens where Steve proceeds to get drunk and drop 1500 bucks on lap dances.Hour Two:Phil announces the pilot he was a part of is done. Then Phil takes credit for having spotted this "finger in the chili" hoax way back when the whole thing broke. Some chick calls the show to say she thinks its funny but also racist and sexist. Then Phil tells Bud to take Phil's cat Ruffle into the office because its making too much noise. So he does. The next thing, Phil goes to a call and its the cat meowing into the phone.Hour Three:Art Bell and General Johnson Jameson, with the help of the listeners, decipher a coded message being sent by a race of microbe sized people living on a slide under General Jameson's Nuclei Microscope. The message says: "You are a walking arse log." Then Phil talks about how the automobile is obsolete and the only thing keeping it alive is the ego-fixation people have with it. David Hall calls to say he has found a man's "thing" in his fish and chips and is suing the fast food chain that he bought it from tomorrow morning. Phil doesn't believe him. Then Jeff Dowder calls to recap some food myths: that brewery workers peed into the Corona vats in Mexico and that someone found a derby hat in a jar of Gerber's Strained Peaches.

Hour 1:Channel 19 news anchor Don Berman was terminated from his job after he had an affair with a high school girl. He says that if people don't write letters to the station demanding he be reinstated then the will go on the air and tell everyone that there's no Santa Claus.Hour 2:Steve Bosell dressed up as Joseph in a X-mas pageant. Roy Hutchins laughed and called him King Tut. Steve retaliated by telling Roy's daughter that she's adopted.Hour 3:The Phil Hendrie Show presents... Charles Dickens "A Christmas Carol". Phil plays the infamous "Nog Lip" flashback and takes some calls.

Hour 1:RC Collins is upset because he was bidding on a Syrian insurgent skull on EBay and the item was removed.Hour 2:Steve Bosell got into a dispute with his neighbor Roy Hutchins after Steve refused a check numbered #666.Hour 3:Phil talks about married couples living apart. RC calls in with a technical problem. David G. Hall and Bud also make an appearance as an ape runs loose in the studio. Phil rants about Free FM and San Diego.

Hour 1:Steve Bosell is upset because he gave his wife a Valentines Day card with a black couple on it and she didn't laugh. Now he's worried that his son Steve Jr. might be moving in on her.Hour 2:Grocery store owner Bob Greene recently made large posters of his face with the words "Don't Even Think About It" and placed them throughout the employee areas of the store as an incentive. Several employees complained that the eyes of the poster appear to follow them around.Hour 3:Phil plugs the audio on his website and reads some e-mail. Phil talks about journalist Don Bolles and Saddam Hussein's hunger strike. Phil ate a 6 pound Valentines heart that his step-daughter Katherine gave to him. The PHS Show presents: American Beauty... Phil remembers a time when he ate at Jack In the Box. Phil talks about getting a hybrid, reads some e-mail, and plugs "Teachers."

Hour 1:Steve Bosell contemplates suing Dr. Phil McGraw for encouraging openness in a marriage. Steve decides to open up his inner most sexual fantasies to April. One of them is his desire to stub out a lit Camel on her rear-end.Hour 2:Justin MacAlroy got called into the principals office for wearing a Phil Hendrie Show t-shirt to school. R.C. Collins claims he's Dale Earnheart Jr. Phil reads some e-mail. John Anes promotes his steakhouse. Phil reads some more news and talks about the Critics Choice Awards.Hour 3:RC Collins is upset because he was bidding on a Syrian insurgent skull on EBay and the item was removed.

Hour 1:Margaret Gray saw "War of the Worlds" on PayPerView and was so outraged by Dakota Fannings performance that she couldn't focus on the film. The following night she went to a charity planning meeting and slapped a friend whose daughter had a striking resemblance to Fanning.Hour 2:Steve Bosell recently went to his high school reunion and was very much looking forward to reconnecting up with former homecoming queen and cheerleader Sarah Teichmann. Things didn't go according to plan and now Steve wants to sue the high school AND his wife.Hour 3:Darrell Webbers Blues Show kicks off with his sideman Junior T-Bone and special guest Pastor William Rennick. The whole thing comes to a crashing end when David G. Hall phones in. Frank Gray calls Phil to talk about how he is producing Julia Roberts new play on Broadway. Little Logan Benson calls to tell the audience what his grandpa has been saying lately. R.C. Collins thinks people that wear ear pieces for cell phones look like they're in the military. Phil reads some e-mail and talks about Chris Penn.

Hour 1:Steve Bosell is suing Las Vegas. He says he has gone there with the sole intention of going to his hotel room, taking a shower, putting on a nice cardigan sweater and a pair of Dockers and going down stairs to the tables to play black jack and drink ice water. But no sooner does he get off the plane then the doorman at the hotel is "sending messages telepathically" telling him to go to Olympic Gardens where Steve proceeds to get drunk and drop 1500 bucks on lap dances.Hour 2:Vernon Dozier listened as a female student told him she and her boyfriend were experimenting sexually and that she was afraid of getting pregnant. Vernon tells Phil that "naturally I got aroused" and that she found out because "I was wearing Spandex cycling shorts" but that he wanted to help her. He advised her to try "the back door."Hour 3:Clara Bingham plays cow sound effects, laugh tracks and other insulting noises when overweight children come on campus in order to get them to cry to their parents about it. It's then that Clara can confront these parents who, with every plate of flapjacks they serve, say "I Hate You" to their children.