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Friday, February 11, 2005

Hour One:Jay Santos and his Citizens Auxiliary Police sub commanders are going to go into hotel restaurants and interview couples to see if they are married. If they are they can check into the hotel. If they are not...well...as Jay says "we've got a situation." Earl pants Car Talk featured Earl complaining that he needed Viagra after seeing how his girlfriend looked longingly at some dudes new Mercedes SLR McLaren while she sat in what Earl thought was a pretty hot car, his Camaro. Father James McQuarters came on and talked about what a traitor Corey Feldman is to Michael Jackson and then Phil rapped about Maria being up at Pebble Beach interviewing celebs at the AT&T Pro-Am.Hour Two:Chris Norton, a good-looking young telemarketer from Redondo Beach was on to comment on the recent female teacher/male underage student sexual scandals that have been prominent in the news. His take was its all the kids fault since these old ladies can't resist a young hunk...at least that's how it was for Chris and his 8th grade teacher, Mrs. Gladway, who took one look at how "evident" Chris was in his slacks and was on him. Our listener flashback was the classic Sylvia/David bit where caller Sylvia tells our own David G. Hall she is going to taker her high heel off and jam it in his eye. Then the Comb-Over Boy show featured 'Boy explaining the high comedy art of the "How you doing Tom?/Do you care" exchange.Hour Three:Our last hour kicked off with Love Songs and Bob telling everyone who doesn't have a date this Valentines Day that they are losers. he takes calls from people and suggest ways they can "pop their corks." Kenny Rogers comes on and does another "Holiday" special, this one for Valentines Day featuring the same unending laundry list of D grade TV stars like Vicki Lawrence and Cheryl Ladd. On Harvey Weirman's Senior Chat, Harvey's guest is Paul Rogers, who has written the book "Stuck Accelerator: The Conspiracy Against Seniors." Paul explains that all seniors know the brake is on the right and the accelerator on the left but Detroit lies to them and tells them its the other way around. David G. hall comes on and makes Phil read off the call letters of all of his affiliates since he's been going on and on about his move to Extra Sports AM570, KLAC. Did we mention that Phil is moving, February 21st to Extra Sports AM 570? Gene Klein, professional ass kisser winds up the show with his advice on kissing the bosses ass. Example: Any joke that starts out with "...there was this hair lip, see...." is a sure winner.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Hour One:Justin McElroy, high school junior, came on the show to explain the the kid in Minnesota who shot up his school was exhibiting some kind of Native American rage. According to Justin, it never would have happened had the white man not done the "Injun" wrong.Hour Two:Chris Norton introduces his new service "Dream Date." If you are a high school girl who ordinarily doesn't get invited to proms, he'll be your date complete with limo, dinner and, as you exit the limo for the prom, smoke "like you're walking out of hell." Chris prices on a sliding scale. The more "challenging" the date, the more expensive. How much to date Terri Schiavo? According to Chris, "four figures."Hour Three:Jeff Dowder calls in to say that Mad Hatters disease is so named because the old time haberdashers used to breath "formaldehyde" fumes while bending and shaping the hats they made and it drove them nuts. He says he knows because his friend Toby Beau told him and Toby's grandfather used to make "bowler hats for Dion O'Bannion in Chicago." Phil then talks about meeting and talking football with the former Dallas Cowboy all-pro James Washington. The Jim Rome Show features Romey choking on a piece of gum and Travis performing the Heimlich. Then Charlie calls to say he hates the Jim Rome bit that Phil just did and Bud chimes in his agreement and then David G. Hall calls to say he thought it sucked too. Logan Benson, the little five year old, calls in to say his Grandpa believes that if Michael Jackson had dealt with "those brats the same way John Wayne Gacy did" he wouldn't have the problems he has today. Phil segues from that tasteless piece of material into a discussion of his wife's basketball prowess. The show ends with the Kenny Rogers "Please Help Me Pay Off My Debt Before The Mafia Kills Me" Special.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Hour One:Bill Duncy, a private pilot tells Phil and the listeners that the airspace over the White House should be left open to celebrities who fly private planes since "they've given us so much." They should simply have their agents send the FAA headshots and resumes so the control tower dudes know who they are.Hour Two:Chris Norton's new company, Germaine Hair Care and Salon Products for Women is a bold new venture. He and Lance Germaine base their sales technique on Chris's innate "sess-uality" and his direct and honest approach. "Hi my name is Chris and I wanted to tell you that your face isn't really cutting it."Hour Three:Phil lets everyone know he isn't retiring. He was joking about it since he thought he was going senile steeping on the gas when he thought it was the brake......... RC Collins calls and, along with Rudy, tries out his "la-la-la" technique........ Earl Pants Car Talk has Earl losing his toupee while he is driving a convertible which winds up blowing onto a cops head........ David G. Hall announces that from now on his entrance onto the show will be preceded by the Star Wars "Imperial March" music and he is to addressed as "Lord" Hall..........Phil talks about giving his youngest son a driving lesson........Phil thinks back on taking Maria out for their first date in his five-speed truck and the valet at Santa Anita not knowing how to drive it....

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Hour 1:Chris Norton's new company, Germaine Hair Care and Salon Products for Women is a bold new venture. He and Lance Germaine base their sales technique on Chris's innate "sess-uality" and his direct and honest approach. "Hi my name is Chris and I wanted to tell you that your face isn't really cutting it."Hour 2:Clara Bingham of Joyful Union Congregation Middle School chucks a kids cell phone out into the street when she finds out he's talking to his dad in Iraq.........Hour 3:Steve Bosell, the Corona construction contractor started taking magic lessons mail-order so he could work kids birthday parties on weekends. So he goes to these kid's parties as "Magic Steve" and does his thing but the kids tell him he sucks and would rather play in the bounce house. Steve decides to sue the mother and father that hosted one of these parties because since kids are minors "they don't have the constitutional right to free speech." And the kids exercising their free speech by walking out on his boring magic show is therefore illegal.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Hour 1:Clara Bingham plays cow sound effects, laugh tracks and other insulting noises when overweight children come on campus in order to get them to cry to their parents about it. It's then that Clara can confront these parents who, with every plate of flapjacks they serve, say "I Hate You" to their children.Hour 2:Steve Bosell is suing Las Vegas. He says he has gone there with the sole intention of going to his hotel room, taking a shower, putting on a nice cardigan sweater and a pair of Dockers and going down stairs to the tables to play black jack and drink ice water. But no sooner does he get off the plane then the doorman at the hotel is "sending messages telepathically" telling him to go to Olympic Gardens where Steve proceeds to get drunk and drop 1500 bucks on lap dances.Hour 3:Chris Norton introduces his new service "Dream Date." If you are a high school girl who ordinarily doesn't get invited to proms, he'll be your date complete with limo, dinner and, as you exit the limo for the prom, smoke "like you're walking out of hell." Chris prices on a sliding scale. The more "challenging" the date, the more expensive. How much to date Terri Schiavo? According to Chris, "four figures."

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Hour 1:Mr. Bonafide had to manhandle a female driver to get his point across regarding the proper amount of space needed for RV drivers in rainy weather.Hour 2:Chris Norton introduces his new service "Dream Date." If you are a high school girl who ordinarily doesn't get invited to proms, he'll be your date complete with limo, dinner, and as you exit the limo for the prom, smoke "like you're walking out of hell." Chris prices on a sliding scale. The more "challenging" the date, the more expensive. How much to date Terri Schiavo? According to Chris, "four figures."Hour 3:Bob Green, owner of Frazier Foods, is, once again, being sued for sexual harassment; this time by a group of female customers who claim that, over the years, he has engaged in suggestive behavior. Their claims included an accusation that he had "Ladies Shopping Day" where he would offer free popscicles to women at the door and then photograph them throughout the store sucking on them.

Friday, February 24, 2006

Hour 1:Don Berman from Channel 19 news is Phil's special guest......he is on the show to talk about teenage drinking and driving and how kids can avoid the peer pressure to drink and drive while still enjoying the party by smoking a "little bit of weed"......Don himself used top drive to work stoned "ands I was fine." When asked by Phil if he was stoned at work Don said "the effects wear off by the time you pull into the lot."Hour 2:Bobbie Dooley repainted her neighbors house while they were on vacation in Hawaii. While she was in the house moving things she found a prescription for a depression medication. Bobbie believes that not only is this woman in no condition to make design changes to her own home but she shouldn't be presenting to the word that she's so "with it" if she has to take these pills.Hour 3:Chris Norton's new company, Germaine Hair Care and Salon Products for Women is a bold new venture. He and Lance Germaine base their sales technique on Chris's innate "sess-uality" and his direct and honest approach. "Hi my name is Chris and I wanted to tell you that your face isn't really cutting it."

Wednesday, January 9, 2002

Hour One: Phil talks about how men hate themselves and no men drink real champagne. Phil takes a call from a guy to let him know G. Gordon Liddy was infuriated on his own show about frivolous law suits and began reading all the law suits of Steve Bosell. Apparently fact checking on the G. Gordon Liddy talk show doesn't exist because he thought Steve Bosell was a real guy. Chris Norton comes in the studio to talk about the fact women treat him like a stud mule because his large male member is very apparent through his pleather pants. Chris takes calls from women. Chris then challenges Phil to whip his out and measure it. Hour Two: RC Collins phones in to talk about a DDR 2000 solo video game. It means a lot to RC because his Dad always shows his love to him in monetary ways. Nevermind the fact RC hans't seen his father in 4 years he knows his father loves him. His father provides a strong moral code for him to live by not like his alcoholic whore mother. Flashback to yesterdays show with the angry elderly caller yelling at Steve and Bobbie Dooley while they have sex on the radio. Hour Three: Dave Oliva is on to warn Chelsea Clinton not to go down the "skank road" the Bush twins have. Flashback to Steve Bosell filing a lawsuit about dogs and cats staring at him while he has sex. Phil then makes more fun of G. Gordon Liddy for being such a huge dumb-ass. Another caller tells Phil radio hosts are biting his material and using it on their show. Show log by George Koutsourais

Ep. 263

Friday, August 16, 2013

First off, after swearing to the BSP's he wouldn't mute another segment on the videocast audio, Hendrie did just that in the last hour, trying to blame Bud for it but not convincingly. Dr. Ron Tarner was also on saying the admission by the US government that Area 51 exists does nothing to tamp down his belief and the belief of others that Area 51 had aliens there and that, further more, they may have sexually assaulted President Eisenhower. Bobbie and Steve Dooley say they support whole-heartedly the audio Amber Alerts that go to peoples cell phones but the actual sound is so jarring, according to Bobbie, that it makes her rethink wether she even wants to go to the trouble of looking for the kid or just dive into a closet. Chris Norton and Dr. Jim Sadler discussed Chris Brown's new sentence of an additional 1000 hours of community service and why it is a guy whose girlfriend has taken him back and is having "sess with him" (in the words of Chris) has to still serve his sentence. The chicks good with him. The court should be too.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Vernon Dozier discusses recently released tapes of former New Orleans Saints coach Greg Williams encouraging his players to injure players on opposing teams. While Vernon realizes he's a high school coach there is something about that style of coaching that he wishes he could bring to the high school level. "Instead I got kids bringing apple sauce cake into my locker room that their MAH-MAH's made for them." Chris Norton has started a new mobile entertainment service. He realizes because there is a need for a clean, Christian entertainer for bachelorette parties so Chris decided to hire himself out as a "clean, modest male dancer for bachelorette parties" wearing suits only, such as the suit of an English professor (tweed jacket) or a chef (carrying a giant spoon).

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