"Best Of" on the Radio Classic Shows on the Videocast: Thursday Feb 10, 2000 -"Valentines For Single Men" Rudy Canosa joins the program to give advice to single men who want to enjoy Valentines Day without being in a long-term relationship. Rudy says picking up on married women and then dumping them is a good way to enjoy the weekend Thursday, May 18, 2000--"Glock In My Bitches Ribs" Lloyd Bonifide discusses the NRA and explains why we have the Million Mom March to thank for the recent surge in membership. May 31, 2000--Chris Norton joins the program, he runs a website called Sessuality.com featuring photos of him that will remind older women how great it is to be with a younger guy. Tuesday, August 30, 2005--Father James McQuarters is on to tell Phil that he allows kids to use foul language on campus until Hurricane Katrina blows over. Listeners believe that Father James lacks respect because he does not demand it or conduct himself in a proper way. Phil plays a flashback of Bob Greene...The 30 Minute Delivery Service.  Tuesday July 5, 2005--Art Griego is a retired commercial pilot who believes local baseball diamonds should be turned into private aviation strips where kids can learn how to fly. He says hits far less likely a plane from the strip will crash into your house than a foul ball "will come sailing through your kitchen window and while you turn to get more Gerber's it takes your kids head clean off."

Margeret Grey was on to talk about the Gores, Al and Tipper, and the possible end of their 40 year marriage. Margaret told Phil and his listeners that if Tipper wanted to follow Al into his new world of television and Nobel Prizes she should have gotten a vaginoplasty because after having four kids Oprah would most likely ask her about it. That would have been Oprah, their new neigbor had Tipper and Al moved into the new $8,000,000 hut in Montecito, California he coughed up for. Bobbie and Steve Dooley were on later to discuss new CC&R's they have enacted at Western Estates. These would require men aged 18 to move out of their childhood homes and find their own places. Bobbie is concerned with a new "bum class" of young men, hanging around pools, drinking beer, wearing shades and scaring old women because their parents haven't got the guts to throw them out. Bobbie would do it to her three sons once they reached 18....but they are special boys and therefore exempt. David G. Hall made a special call to the show from where he was "having meetings", the Chumash Casino. He heard Phil say, on air, "I think I blew a preamp" and was concerned that Phil ran afoul of FCC regulations. Phil explained what blowing a preamp meant but Hall didn't get it.

Attorney Darren Brown joined Phil for a discussion of the lawsuit against Google whereby a woman got hit by a car after using the Google Maps direction feature. Is it frivolous? Hardly, according to Darren. Google is a big company. They can afford it. The thing that is unjust to Darren is that the lawyer representing the plaintiff in the Google case got there first while Darren and the rest of the lawyers of the world have to wait in line for their big shot. He was gonna sue BP and then along came the oil leak and  that trumped his chicken-crap credit card class-action. Jay Santos of the Citizens Auxiliary Police announced tonight that he and his subcommanders will be outside theaters throughout Southern California on June 11 when "The A Team" comes out. They'll be asking people in line questions and looking over their apparel to make sure none of them are "hyper-patriotic" and are likely to come out of the theater "and want to go and buy a van and blow things up."

Best Of

Our show began with a discussion of abusive bill collectors, many of whom threaten people with violence or humliate them with name -calling. Jay Santos of the Citizens Auxilliary Police  does some "enforcement collection" as he calls it. He says he doesn't engage in that kind of behavior. He simply tells people that if they don't pay the bill their future 'has suddenly turned black." One woman who owed money on some Kevin Costner videos that went to collection was told by Jay that "no matter how many Costner videos you rent you'll never bag him." Phil announced the "glorious news" that Jesse James as a kid pretended to be the Angel of Death from Auschwitz, Dr. Josef Mengele. Whoopee! Then Doug Dannger, gay man and gay journalist, came on to talk about the passing of actor Gary Coleman...for awhile. Doug said that what he really wanted to talk about was his column about Coleman called "The Happy Freak" and how no one commented on it good or bad and that means they were "blown away" by it. He also dropped a meaningless statistic about Zelda Rubinstien. (??)

Starting things tonight, retired pilot Art Griego talked with Phil about the curious case of a woman who'd fallen asleep on a flight from Washington DC to Philadelphia...and woke up locked into an empty plane where she remained for four hours! Art told Phil and his audience that if you fall asleep during an entire flight, the flight attendants take it personally thinking you'don't care whether they live or die. As a consequence, they forget you're alive and don't bother to wake you after the flight lands or even notice you're there. Bob Green, CEO of Frazier Foods, also joined us to talk about his new Trilogy Resort at Big Bear Lake, Ca. Enjoying the mountains is a wonderful way to spend the summer says Bob, not risking shark attack at the ocean and seeing the water turn dark red.

Tonight, Professor Don Miksa of the University of Washington is a "progressive" totally committed to bringing gay people into the military. But in order to do that and not suffer a back-lash from "rurals" like the Family Research Council, he says we need to make sure we keep the "flamboyance" down and the so-called "Paris Shuffle" has to be eliminated, a manner of walking that resembles a model on a fashion runway. "The nocturnal gay is dangerous, feeding at night and turning these guys out." Herb Sewell joined us for a brief chat. The new, socalled Busty Barbie, Herb says, might have kept him out of a psychiatric hospital. had he a Barbie doll to deface like Phil did and other men when they were boys. His first look at a breast might have been a look at Barbie's "pair" instead of his mothers....when he was 14. Finally, Vernon Dozier applauds recent statements by the San Antonio police chief saying law enforcement needs more, not fewer, tasers. Vernon loves the sound of people being tased almost to the point of climax

Margaret Grey questioned tonight the success of the TV show '24.' Why would a program that extolled militaristic views and solutions be popular unless it wasn't and was merely being propped up by the conservative Fox Network? Look at Kiefer Sutherland, crawling into a bottle because he's so disgusted with the character he has to play. She called on Congress to conduct hearings. Later Raj Feneen talked about the BP leak and how Arabs are way better at drilling than Westerners.

Steve Bosell fears that published images of the oil slick in the Guulf will create a fear of some blob-type organism ready to make land. Steve was also scared into running to his bedroom and burying his head in a pillow when his daughter showed him a tar ball she found at the beach. David G. Hall and young Chris Norton visited Phil with David G. telling Phil Chris' story is inspiring and could attract a more Christian listener to Phil's show. Chris tells Phil he got his girlfriend pregnant but because his parents are religious...and will bank roll his adult film production house....he doesn't want her to get an abortion. Instead, he wants Phils listenjers to pray to God that his girlfriend miscarries. Phil tells David and Chris the whole thing sounds like a stunt to get business at the adult film production house because david probably has a piece of it...

Last night it was Austin Amarca talking about his home state of Texas and its new schoool curriculum emphasizing more traditional views of Texas and America. He's particularly proud of the fact it will teach how much more important Sam Houston was than Thomas Jefferson, how hanging and firing squad were superior capital punishmnts methods and how Texas was almost one of the original colonies. in the second hour it was Art Griego extolling the strength and grit of the Southerner. If this oil leak had to happen anywhere, better it happen in the souith where the people are "used to having their asses kicked" and can live, if need be, in trees and river beds and subsist on roots and rodent meat.