Monday, January 3, 2005 Hour 1: Tonight Phil rants about living the bachelor life and his struggles with sleep paralysis. Bud claims that all of Phil’s problems are due to Phil smelling bad; and then Bud gets slapped in the mouth. Phil plays a flashback of Dean Wheeler rescuing a 14-year-old Mexican girl and putting her to work in a whorehouse, but it’s OK because she was the “most popular seniorita in town.” Jeff Dowder calls in for a segment called “Wouldn’t it be funny if.” Jeff has problems pronouncing words with silent letters correctly. Logan comes on for “My Grandpa says.” Margaret Gray and Vernon Dozer both check in with some bullcrap. Hour 2: Jay Santos of the Citizen’s Auxiliary Police is on to promote his program “Rain or Shine.” Jay describes people who drive slowly during inclement weather conditions as losers and gutless wonders, and that even in dangerous driving conditions, motorists should exceed a clip of at least 65mph. He and his associates are out saving lives by tailgating other drivers! Lloyd Bonifide chimes in and threatens to make Jay into a pile of ash with a pit helmet. Later, Phil gets cranked, and Bob Bakian reports on Dan Rather. Hour 3: Phil takes some calls and reads some email. Herb Sewell is trout fishing in the middle of the night, in the dead of winter, and finds it apropos to call in to discuss his new book ‘Splinter in the Night.